The Wall is Undefeated for Young Expats!

Some odd years ago, I was working in Cochabamba, Bolivia for some NGO that you can read about my experience with here.

Anyway, this NGO basically worked in bringing in foreigners into the country and pairing them up with local NGOs to work for.

So the main building for the first NGO mentioned was basically full of gringos.

While I was there, I met another guy who happened to like traveling around the world quite a bit!

I forgot his name but let’s call him Steven.

Steven was some white guy from Idaho originally…

Who basically made it a little career to travel around the world however he could after college was over.

Now, to be fair, this guy came across like he had rich parents or something helping fund his travels.

As far as I knew, he didn’t do any online work really or any local jobs like teaching English.

And the work we were doing was actually just volunteer work.

But he had years anyway of living abroad after college was over.

How did he support himself?

Who knows.

Anyway, this guy didn’t have a preference necessarily for Latin women.

Though a large part of his motivation to live abroad seemed to be basically have sex with anything with a pulse.

He was quite familiar with all the usual ol’ websites about hooking up.

Roosh Forum and others.

But didn’t have a preference for Latinas necessarily like some of these guys do.

Now, it’s a bit funny that he chose Bolivia as a place to be since that’s a country that nobody ever saws has hot chicks.

Though, thinking about it now, I think the guy had a fetish for smaller brown chicks.

Since I remember him telling me about his time in India, Nepal, Peru, Ecuador, Guatemala, Mongolia, etc.

Bangladesh?

No idea.

By this point, it wouldn’t surprised me if he had made his way there also.

But he was getting older anyhow…

When I knew him, he already passed his 30s.

Was, if I remember right, like 33 or 34?

Something like that.

Forgive me for the bad memory after all these years.

But I remember him being in his 30s..

And we were having a conversation at one point where we were at some burger joint in Cochabamba with a few other foreigners with us.

Later on, this guy was talking with me about his future plans.

And I was curious to know because I didn’t have anywhere near the amount of travel experience he had!

And this was the conversation where it dawned on me that this guy is basically a sex tourist.

As he goes on about the specific countries he’s been to and how he really likes living abroad because of all the extra fun he has with foreign women.

But…

He’s getting older.

Like I said, he wasn’t 22 anymore.

And he confided in me about his thoughts about settling down eventually.

“Throwing in the towel” when it comes to “slaying all the pussy.”

Well, let’s all be thankful he made that conclusion…

Leaving some for the rest of us, huh?

His concern anyway was rooted in this premise that he doesn’t have too much time left to keep “playing the field.”

And how he feels it’ll eventually be time someday to find a woman to have children with.

Where exactly?

“Maybe Bolivia or Peru. Somewhere that speaks Spanish and is closer to home. Women are more traditional here”

And so on and so on…

But then he went on about how “he still has a few good years left.”

And concluded that he can probably still play the field until, at the very latest, when he turns 40.

Once 40 hits, then he’ll just do a 180 and look for Ms. Right!

Find her in a month or two…

Then marry and have kids one week later!

Or something like that…

Still, this isn’t an unusual thing for those who don’t know…

There are guys out there with this type of “long term” mindset while living abroad.

Where essentially they want to be sex tourists forever and ever…

Can’t get off the merry go round, so to speak.

Convincing themselves of “1 more year in India” or whatever country has the right type of women for them…

Then they become convinced that “maybe I’ll do 2 years more in Peru!”

Then I’ll settle down!

And they try to play these mental gymnastics where they try to visualize the longest they can play the game of chasing tail before “throwing in the towel.”

“When is the very last second I have in my life before I have to call it quits? When I turn 40?”

Then the theory goes that once they hit that magic age or when they finish dedicating enough time to the exact countries they want to be a sex tourist in (whichever hits first)….

That they’ll just magically do that 180 and find Ms. Right in a short time and move along life with her.

Family and all.

What are my thoughts on this?

Realism

Let’s add a dose of reality to some of this.

First, not every guy is going to be the prize that he thinks he will be at this later age of 40 or whenever.

Even though a guy can take care of himself and still have value at 35, 37 or 40….

Things are going to change.

You know, it’s going to be harder for you the 40 year old to attract and relate to chicks who are 28 let’s say.

Obviously, if you wait until you are 40, you also are going to not be considered dateable by some chicks due to the age gap.

And you might not want to wife them up either because they seem too immature!

On top of that, the chicks who are closer to your age (somewhere in her 30s) are more likely to have kids of their own already.

Want to take care of someone else’s kids?

I personally wouldn’t but that’s your choice anyhow. Not my problem.

On top of that…

Obviously not every guy is necessarily going to keep himself fit in general by that age either.

Plus, when you are dealing with more significant age gaps, like a 40 year old dating a 25 year old…

You have to recognize the importance of money in the equation and how she might not actually like you but like the maturity and money you bring to the table.

Second, do you really want to raise kids starting at that older age?

If you start at some age like 40, your kids won’t be on their own until you are like 65 maybe.

Or however long it takes for them to be independent.

Not every kid grows up independent and ready for the world at 18 or 23.

Sometimes it might take a few extra years…

Hopefully not as bad as this guy from Dr. Phil here.

So with you being somewhere in your 60s by the time the first kid is out of the house…

Not to mention other kids you might try to bring into this world after the first one, causing you to be at this until your 70s…

We all know that you’ll have less energy to be a parent still in your 60s versus having them out of the house by your 40s or 50s.

Plus, not having them out of the house until a later age does take away more time I would assume from more quickly building up and preparing for retirement if you still have them in your 60s…

Or so I imagine anyway to be fair.

And also there is always the risk of you dying before they are independent since they are in your house still into that later age…

Plus, the greater risk of not seeing your grandkids.

Reminds me of this scene from Field of Dreams here where the main character complains about his dad passing away too early because he had him at a much later age.

But let’s move on.

Regret of Previous Women

Next, if you play the game like this, you’ll probably fall in love with some chicks here and there from time to time.

In doing so, if you have the mindset of how you need to keep on conquering new pussy, then you’ll likely end up leaving behind specific chicks that would’ve been good for you in the long run.

Someone special that you’ll look back on and say “damn, maybe I shouldn’t have left her? Work things out with her more?”

You might ask “was the extra 50 women I slept with after her really worth trading away a life with someone that I really liked?”

After all, not every chick is necessarily going to be waiting for you.

Granted, some guys might be successful in going back to a chick from the past and actually make things work.

Good for them!

But, in all likelihood, it’s possible that she moved on.

Perhaps found another guy to settle down with before you went back to her.

There’s risk there obviously.

And so I’m only saying here that you should be careful with giving up the opportunity of being with someone that you really strike good chemistry with now for the extra 50 women that you can sleep with.

I’ve known guys who have commented on just that.

Thinking about specific women from the past that they had chemistry with…

But because of their desire to “not miss out” and fuck a certain high number of women…

They ended up tossing aside a good chick that they really felt a connection with and saw as a good person to share a life with.

I get anyway the desire to want to experience life and fuck new chicks…

But just think about if that decision to give up on a specific chick after you already have a lot of experience is worth it or not…

Natural Changes

The next thought that comes to mind is how you’ll change as a person anyhow.

You might have the thought process of above but only be 25 for example.

And think to yourself how “you’ll play the game for another 10 years until you are 35 and throw in the towel!”

But you throwing in the towel might happen sooner…

Of course, you might meet the right woman before then and settle down.

Also, things change with you personally.

As you have sex with lots of women, there’ll come a point where the experiences are not as impressive as before.

It’s still awesome obviously to fuck more chicks.

But it’s not as much of a priority as before.

Either because you hit 30 or get older in general at whatever age and your sex drive goes down with your testosterone levels decreasing naturally…

Or you experience so many women that fucking the next one isn’t as important to you anymore.

You might end up thinking “well, I’ve done it already! I definitely did not miss out!”

Then decide to settle down earlier.

Another trip to the Thailand for the lady boys or the most isolated village of Saudi Arabia for the TradMuslim gals just isn’t in the schedule anymore.

So while a guy might end up thinking something like this to himself…

About how “he’ll last another 10 years or so.”

I’d caution against that and say he probably, in all likelihood, not end up being like Steven from above.

Though there is an issue some guys face when they pursue sex so much that might hurt their ability to settle down…

Issues with Settling Down

There are some miscellaneous issues that come to mind that might hurt a guy’s ability to settle down at whatever age he deems fit to do so.

First, he might end up accidently knocking up a chick obviously who he met for 30 minutes from Tinder.

Doesn’t even know her name!

Well, I imagine having a kid from some random woman that you don’t want a relationship with could hurt your ability to find quality women to settle down with in the future.

Second, some guys become very jaded.

As I wrote about here, here or here….

I’ve met plenty of women hooking up with that I later found out had boyfriends or husbands!

Some of them would be on phone calls in front of me telling them that “they love them.”

In most of those cases, I didn’t even know they had a boyfriend or husband until afterwards.

Truthfully, seeing something like that does make you more jaded with the prospects of settling down.

I imagine other guys have similar experiences.

It becomes a little bit harder to settle down when you realize how much infidelity there is in the world.

Third, you can argue some of these guys, like Steven, are quite likely sex addicts.

And it can be hard for them to ever truly settle down and stop pursing more women.

Perhaps they do marry some chick but then cheat on her?

Or, in greater likelihood, I’d say some never settle down!

They simply keep pushing back the age at which they say to themselves will be the age they “throw in the towel.”

Often mixed with a reason to spend a year in another random country they heard online was good for chasing tail…

And so, quite possibly being a sex addict, they don’t know how or when to stop.

Fourth, I feel some guys simply get stuck in their ways.

The older you get, the more I feel you become less tolerant of having a new person in your life that doesn’t go with how you are.

You become “set in your ways” especially if you’ve never settled down before.

With relationships being about compromise, I feel someone who hasn’t been married until they are 40 would have a rougher time settling for compromise.

Like you can see in this discussion on Bill Maher here

On top of that, if you’ve never been in many long term relationships in general over the last decade and mostly been hooking up…

With your longest relationship being only months long…

I feel, at the age of 40, you again will have a harder time making anything work.

Fifth, some of these guys I feel are at risk of going back home with nothing.

Take Steven.

As far as I knew, motherfucker didn’t work.

And he was in his early 30s.

How the fuck did he pull that off?

My only guess is, and it’s a guess, that he has nice parents.

But what happens when the parents decide they don’t want to fund him anymore?

The fuck is he going to do then?

Granted, not every guy has an extreme financial situation like that when pursuing sex abroad…

But I would caution the average guy to spend decades of only pursuing sex and not focusing on anything else in their life.

Like once you’ve had sex with a 100 chicks…

Is the next 100 really going to be more important than getting your finances, health or whatever the fuck else in order?

Having solid friendships with people?

You can do all of those things by the way and still fuck 200 chicks!

But I’ve noticed some guys don’t seem to prioritize other things and only make their life just a journey to fuck more women.

Nothing else is important.

The never-ending conquest to fuck the next ass.

Like an extremely aggressive robot stomping around Buenos Aires “wHeRe iS aLeJaNdRa!?!?! I WANT HER PUSSY!!”

And so if you never do prioritize other things like finances…

What I’m warning here is that you are not really going to be the catch you think you are at 40 or whatever age when you decide to settle down…

Settling down means you have to have your shit together if you are going to support a family.

And if your main line of work to support yourself all of these years has been freelance writing articles for 5 dollars an article on Fiverr….

Or making shitty Youtube videos that never go anywhere…

Or whatever!

I see difficulty here in your plan to settle down when you got no money at an later age.

Again, you can have your fun while improving things like your financial situation…

Just don’t make pursuing ass your only purpose in life at the expense of literally everything else.

Final Thoughts

Granted, if you don’t ever want to have children…

Then I guess much of what I said here is partly irrelevant?

Not all of it but it does change the calculus.

If you don’t want a family, then you do have a lot more time to “play the field” so to speak.

I do think though some of the points made above would still be relevant…

Like if you still wanted to settle down with someone without children, I still think you’d have a better time doing so in your 30s than 50s.

Or how you again shouldn’t disregard improving yourself in ways that don’t involve having sex with more people.

 Anyway, that’s all I got to say for now.

There might be other thoughts I’ll have on this subject that I can edit in later.

But this is everything I can think of right now.

At the end of the day, you know where I stand.

And leave any comments you have below.

Would love to hear them.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt

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