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- “Gringos Couldn’t Make it Work Back Home!”
As I wrote in this article here…
You’ll often find cases of locals in Latin America coming across as a bit insecure in relation to foreigners.
But, on the other hand, you also have locals who are not necessarily insecure….
Well, they still could be.
But also in which they dislike foreigners as well.
I guess that’s two types of insecurities, isn’t it?
One in which the local has no confidence or self-esteem but doesn’t necessarily dislike foreigners but dislikes themself.
Or a local who is insecure but turns that insecurity into anger against other foreigners.
Granted, the anger never transpires into much as usually they just mumble to themselves it seems or talk like a bitch behind our backs.
Having said that, it’s not fair to portray all the locals who have a problem with foreigners as “being insecure.”
Because it has come to my attention that, arguably speaking, I tend to portray the angry local as being insecure ALL THE TIME.
Though, in reality, that often does seem like the case in my experience….
You do have, on the other hand, the type of local who looks down on us but in a way that isn’t from a point of insecurity.
This is a rare type of local that I have almost no experience with whatsoever.
Only for briefly and in only a few cases.
The type of local that typically comes from the upper class of society (maybe not always but more often than not).
In which they think of us gringos as being “failures who couldn’t make it back home.”
That is the phrase you’ll often hear.
Now, in my experience, I’ve actually mostly heard other gringos use that exact critique against us.
Much more than any of the locals ever have.
I’ve written about it briefly here – giving very briefly my opinion on if us gringos who live in Latin America are “losers who couldn’t make it back home.”
My opinion is not necessarily.
Many are doing quite well down here.
But you do have some smoke behind the fire – some of these folks do exist from what I’ve seen. It’s not uncommon to find a gringo like that.
But, as I said, that critique, from what I’ve seen online in places like Twitter, seems to be more common from gringos who haven’t moved to Latin America.
Here’s a video from one such expat who talks about this topic but in Asia.
Interesting but not surprising that the same idea is thrown at those who lives in Asia also.
Which, by the way, I recommend you watch that video. The guy behind it makes a lot of good content on Youtube.
Anyway, as you can see, he took on the topic from a dating aspect.
And that’s usually where the critique comes from when people say that we “didn’t make it back home.”
It’s usually meant to mean that either we didn’t have dating success back home…
Or it usually means that we didn’t have financial success back home.
Consequently, we moved to Latin America for better dating success or for better financial success (like lower cost of living).
In my own case, there’s different events that have nothing to do with dating or financial reasons for why I began traveling through Latin America.
Though, as I wrote here, the financial benefits is one of the stronger reasons for why I continue to stay down here.
Among other reasons that don’t have anything to do with the above.
At any rate, I don’t really care if someone who moved abroad for these reasons couldn’t “make it work back home.”
If they’re happier down here with a better quality of life overall, then good for them!
Though, as I wrote elsewhere, I do tend to believe that some of these folks can be a bit naïve at times about the trajectory of their life.
Like if you are only here for pussy….
Are you really going to be happy long term living down here?
I doubt it but if you are then great.
Not my life to live.
Either way, as I said, this critique is also, at times, thrown at us not just from gringos back home but also from certain locals down here.
In my observation, it seems the “dating aspect” of this critique is much more common in areas where sex tourism is very high (like Medellin) than in others.
Where you’d have a lot more of the locals throwing that critique around.
Otherwise, outside of those areas, it’s always been the observation that, for whatever reason, the upper class folks are more likely to hold this critique than the rest of the locals.
Let’s jump into that with the very few examples I have of the locals who aren’t insecure but critical….
And then some quick observations.
“So What Are You Doing Here?”
Well over a year ago or so, I was at some house party in a Mexican city known as Pachuca.
I traveled to the neighborhood of a girlfriend of mine at the time where she was living in some working class neighborhood or so.
Whose name was Brenda.
She was staying at this house that her dad happened to own where she lived with a friend of hers.
Anyway, I show up but got lost.
But found some bakery owned by a family where the guy who ran the place noticed I was lost and helped call her since my phone wasn’t working…
And he got her to find out where I was.
He was a very nice guy – a bit religious but offered me a free cookie too.
So he was cool.
Anyway, we walk back to her place after she showed up…
Then got into a taxi with her friend to find the house where this party was at.
It was in some really nice, gated community.
It almost reminded me of the US in terms of how much nicer the houses was.
We had to pass two check points to finally get there.
And the taxi driver was saying shit under his breath like “this is where the politicians live!” and shit like that.
But he said it a bit negatively so I guess he wasn’t a fan of the people who lived here.
Anyway, we found the house and got inside.
And, to be fair, everyone was fairly friendly.
The guy whose parents owned the house got talking with me…
And I told him I was from Chicago…
I tend to say that because, in my experience, most folks don’t know where Iowa is and Chicago is close enough.
And he starts going off drunkenly about how “he LOVES the Cubs!”
Anyway, some other guy asked me “what do I do for a living?”
And I tell him I run websites.
Which confused him in the moment because my girlfriend at the time told him that I was a professor.
I have no idea.
Guess it sounds more professional than running websites.
Sounds like an actual career of someone “who made it” perhaps.
Whereas running websites promoting porn links (I didn’t mention the porn links) in your underwear doesn’t sound like someone who “has made it.”
Anyway, the confusion persists with this guy but he is not rude about it.
He’s just genuinely confused about why I live in Mexico but not in an aggressive way.
And he’s inquiring about “aren’t their better jobs in the US though? Why leave home?”
And I start giving the answer that I simply like it Mexico more and my life is more enjoyable.
Anyway, the conversation ends as he has to head back upstairs.
To which I was under the impression that he might’ve had that observation that “I didn’t make it back home” and that’s why I’m living down here.
That I’m not the professor that my then girlfriend said I was…
And that I’m just chilling in Mexico without any formal employment running websites.
Did he think that “I didn’t make it back home?”
Who knows but I suspected as such.
At any rate, let’s get onto the next story.
So this is a story that I’ve written elsewhere so I’ll keep it short here.
As I said, the last chick was named Brenda.
And she had a brother.
One day, her Facebook got hacked.
Her brother, being a computer expert, helped her get it back and track down the IP address of the person who hacked it.
In the process of doing that, he came across our messages on Facebook.
Probably because she had me written down as “Amor” in our conversation.
So he found that.
And lost his fucking head.
Now, keep in mind, it was always my impression that this dude was a bit on the religious side.
Even though I never met him in real life.
But he seemed to take up from his mom in terms of being one judgemental little guy.
A bit religious…
And, from what Brenda told me, assumed that she was a virgin always.
That she wouldn’t be the type to fuck before marriage or some shit.
Anyway, upon reading our messages, he first found out that I’m involved in a way in the porn industry as I said before.
And he also saw a shit ton of sexual chat between us.
Where she’d write to me shit like “oh papi, quiero q vengas dentro de mi. quiero tu leche!!!”
And i’d say shit like “I’m going to fuck you like my dog” and other shit.
With plenty of nude photos to see of her pussy, ass, tits…
And he probably saw a few pics of my 17 inch soft dick (31 inches when I’m pimping).
Anyway, walking into this conversation thinking she is a virgin…
Then realizing that she is talking a bit casually with another guy who has fucked her and has her saying a bunch of shit with nude pics…
His head fucking exploded.
Now I emphasize the same point I wrote here…
In which not every Latino is a diehard Catholic Jesus freak.
Most, in my time down here, are not!
Granted, as you all know, I mostly hang out with young folks in urban cities so that’d influence things.
Anyway, he was very religious as I suspected.
Had a phone call with her.
And let her have it.
It got so bad that the dude would call her “slut” or “whore” in Spanish every time he saw her.
According to her, he literally started sobbing in front of the whole family at some huge family gathering…
All the aunts, uncles, grandparents and everyone else there…
Just started sobbing literally and yelled at her “YOU YOU YOU …. YOU WHORE!!! YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!”
And the dad took him away but he wouldn’t explain why he was so upset until months later when he wanted to “expose me” to the family when he realized we were still together.
I managed to meet her parents before he did so.
He refused to be there when I showed up.
And I messaged him one time asking if he’d be down to meet up to fix our differences.
He never responded.
Anyway, from what I know, he took on that type of mentality to the parents saying shit like “Matt is a loser who couldn’t make it home. He’s here fucking Brenda like a whore because he can’t get girls elsewhere. SEX TOURIST!”
“And how any man who respects Brenda wouldn’t have conversations like that with her over text.
A man who respects a woman wouldn’t want to “creampie her.”
What is a creampie anyway?
Isn’t that something grandma makes? A pie?”
Anyway, we carried on our relationship but that was the first time anyone ever accused me of “not making it work back home” for dating or any reason really.
At any rate, those are the only two times I have ever encountered this mindset.
But let’s get into some observations that come to mind about it all.
Observation 1: More Common in Touristy Cities?
Even though the first example was in Pachuca…
My suspicion is this type of mindset is more common among the wealthier locals in touristy areas with lots of gringos.
For some reason, I feel like the upper class locals would be less likely to make this judgement in areas with not as many gringos.
Perhaps in part because maybe they’d be less exposed to the literal sex tourists or “folks who couldn’t make it back home financially.”
Less likely to see the gringo working for 500 dollars a month in front of his laptop who smells like shit…
And less likely to see gringos doing “day game” in the streets.
Observation 2: Not Impressed
I feel like also that this observation is more likely to come from the upper class in large part because they are not as impressed.
Almost all of them have been to countries like the US, Canada or those in Europe…
They come from wealthier backgrounds.
Most likely wealthier than you are.
Usually speak English much better than most of the locals.
So if you are dealing with a poorer local or one of the middle class…
Yeah, you’re more likely to impress one of them perhaps?
But not so much those who are of a more comfortable background.
Observation 3: Not Always Judgemental
Like I said, I don’t think they are always as judgemental as some gringo expats make them out to be.
Of the few I’ve met, many were quite nice!
Like at that house party in Pachuca – many were VERY nice!
Made friends with one that I hung out with some odd times after the party.
Didn’t seem judgemental at all.
I feel like there is a certain narrative out there that these folks are “always talking behind our backs judging us.”
Maybe you can argue that stems from a gringo insecurity?
Particularly of said gringo actually couldn’t make it back home and knows it?
Or just feels insecure about being the outsider in Latin America.
Anyway, not all of those from more comfortable backgrounds are that judgemental.
Observation 4: Limited Experience
As I said, I don’t have that much experience with this topic.
I’ve literally only had two people that I know of give me this judgement from an angle of not coming across as insecure.
As I said, I’ve met others down here who dislike or hate gringos for related reasons but they usually come across as insecure.
Like the local male incel who can’t get pussy and hates seeing gringos come down and get pussy.
Or just plain xenophobia or racism against those who are different.
Or whatever else.
And also I have limited experience with upper class Latinos because I generally don’t hang out with much.
I don’t go to the Narco Mansion parties unfortunately.
Never been invited, damn it!
Maybe one day….
After all, the party that was going on at this house here sure looked cool!
At least until the damn police ruined it, it seems!
Anyway, because of my lack of experience with the upper class Latinos down here, I can’t comment anymore on how prevalent this narrative is about us gringos among them.
But it’s all to make a point anyway not only on the existence of this narrative…
And also to emphasize that not every local who dislikes us is coming from a point of insecurity.
That’s the main point really – they’re not necessarily insecure.
Anyway, that’s all I got to say on this topic.
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