All you need to know about Iberian America

Latinos Going Full Gringo

Published November 8, 2020 in Personal Stories & Opinions - 0 Comments

As I wrote about in this article here

You have some Latinos – usually the whitest ones – especially in parts like Argentina or Brazil….

That are insistent that they are not Latino.

In fact, fellow reader…

They are not Latino – they are European!

Even though they might have been born in Latin America….

Even though their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and beyond were also born in Latin America….

They are definitely not Latino!

And some get quite pissed if you imply otherwise…

On top of that, as written about in this article here

Some Latinos have a stick in their ass about practicing or speaking English.

Regardless of how good or bad their English might be…

Because sometimes they do want to practice it and will vomit their broken ass English all over you without asking if it’s cool if you two practice it…

But also you got some Latinos – as I wrote about here – who just seem hellbent on proving to every stranger around them how “educadoooooooo” they are.

Or at least that’s my impression.

To try and come across as more sophisticated than they really are and more sophisticated than others around them – complete strangers – because they can throw down a few words in English.

I remember one chick who was a landlord of some place and I was asking her questions on it…

And she was wondering why we ain’t speaking in English because I am from the US.

Well, I told her I speak both languages so it’s cool either way.

Well, she tried throwing down her best English by text in Whatsapp – and it was very obviously copy and paste from Google Translate lol.

So I figured I might as well keep typing in Spanish.

And trust me – she fucking got pissed off.

At this point, she was thinking that – in her words – that I must be some arrogant foreigner who thinks she doesn’t speak English.

“We Latinos speak English too!”

Like chill bitch, nobody said you didn’t speak English lol.

And so I said “me vale verga si hablas ingles. A quien le importa? Solo me interesa saber mas de tu departamento.”

Basically at this point I didn’t give a fuck to live at her place because I knew we wouldn’t get along.

So fuck it – “I don’t give a fuck if you speak English. Who you trying to impress?”

That’s when she really flipped shit – “I ain’t trying to impress nobody!!!!”

At that point I just tell her – “Look, I can tell this is some Google Translate shit. And even if you do speak English, that’s cool but it don’t matter to me. I just wanted a place to stay at.”

Then she goes off about how “soy muy educada y hablo muchas lenguas!!!”

Uhhh…..ok cool.

Anyway, she had a stick up her ass about trying to appear more sophisticated than how she really is.

Trying to throw down her tight non-existent foreign language skills on some random ass dude looking for a place to stay.

Now the last two things….

Latinos trying to insist that they are not really Latino….

To some of them tripping over themselves to prove to random people that they speak English or foreign languages in general…

To also…

Latinos who have foreign sounding names just because.

Foreign Sounding Names

As you can see by this funny video here…

Of this Mexican dude basically saying shit against Mexican parents naming their kids Kevin or whatever…

Because those are not traditional Mexican names and all and it might cause problems for them and whatever down the road…

Yes, you got Latinos who carry very English sounding names.

Such as this chick I wrote about here named Cindy.

Who was from Cali, Colombia but whose name was Cindy.

A name that I never encountered ever again down here nor up to that point.

First off, in my experience only, the Latinos with the most English sounding names tend to come from the upper class.

Cindy, for example, was very well off because of her parents.

Granted, I heard other folks say it’s more common among the lower classes to do this because they want their kids to be more sophisticated sounding.

Like some folks in the US naming their kids shit like Mercedes or whatever.

I don’t know how true that is but I’ve only seen this shit happen among upper class folks.

And I imagine it’s not always because the parents want the kids to be more sophisticated sounding or shit like that…

I imagine some of them probably are foreigners themselves who are just naming their kids shit they like from their own culture.

Like this Mexican dude I once met in Pachuca whose dad was German and he was literally the whitest Mexican I ever met.

With blonde hair and blue eyes.

And a foreign sounding name too – but in his case, I think a German sounding name makes more sense.

Than two Mexican parents who have no relationship to Germany naming their kid some German sounding name.

Though it’s almost always an English sounding one when Mexicans or Latinos do that.

Either way, it makes sense then a Latino like that guy having a strong association perhaps with some foreign culture like German because he does have stronger roots to that.

So Latinos who are in that situation – with foreign parents for example – are not really “going full Gringo” in my opinion.

Sometimes though Latinos will even do it to themselves without the parents giving them a foreign sounding name to begin with.

For example, there’s this Venezuelan chick I hooked up with years ago.

Whose last name was Raleigh.

I asked her about it – like you got foreign parents or something?

And she said she changed it herself because she thought it sounded nicer than her real last name that she was given.

I don’t remember what that name was but it was more Latino sounding.

The Broader Point

Guatemala City

So what’s the point behind all of this?

From Latinos who are insistent on not being Latino….

To the ones who trip over themselves to show everyone how good their English is…

To the ones whose parents gave them English sounding names or maybe they changed it themselves…

It’s similar to some Latina chick who dyes her hair blonde and tries to be more “gringa” so to speak in her behavior.

Or when you are speaking with a Latina or Latino and asking them basic questions like…

“Favorite movie?”

“Favorite book?”

“Favorite band?”

And they reply….

“Star Wars.”

“Harry Potter.”

“The Beatles.”

And you ask them…

“Anything you like from your own culture?”

“No…..!!!” they respond.

Even though you suspect that might be bullshit – but it might not be – though most likely it is a Latino or Latina who doesn’t like associating themselves with their own culture and want to only associate with foreign (read: anglo) cultures.

Basically, I see it as Latinos trying to be shit they ain’t – trying to be more like folks from the US or just foreign countries in general.

And thinking that represents something – something more sophisticated.

That’s how it comes across to me and just my opinion.

And to be fair – you got gringos who do the exact same shit.

Who try to be shit they ain’t.

From the white kid in school trying to be black.

To gringos down here who will literally trip over themselves to be like Latinos.

“Going full Latino.”

Where their presentation of themselves screams like someone who is trying to be an exaggerated or stereotypical version of what Latinos “are supposed to be like.”

As you can read in this article here that I like a bit from a site called My Latin Life.

Check it out if you want to read more about the opposite happening – gringos trying to be Latinos.

Anyway, if you have any comments or questions yourself on this topic, drop them below.

And follow my Twitter here.

And enjoy the relevant music video below -- "You Are What You Is" by Zappa.

Thanks.

Best regards,

Matt

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