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Bringing Your Trad Paraguayan Wife to the Best Place of America: Keokuk, Iowa

Published January 2, 2023 in Dating Information , Paraguay - 0 Comments

There is a trad Paraguayan woman living in a complete shithole town of El Chaco. 

Known as Filadelfia.

The only local men that she can get are 5'7 tall dudes who barely finished high school and got nothing going on in life.

With her not having too many opportunities either.

The most exciting thing about the town is drinking yerba mate and watching street dogs fight each other.

In the blazing heat, she scratches your crotch and thinks "saquenme ... saquenme de latinoamerica!!!"

Then, out of nowhere, a white man with blonde hair and blue eyes is riding a horse in the distance.

Upon arrival, he speaks in an exotic language she has never heard before.

"Where ... WHERE is my Paraguayan trad wife?!" he yells.

And then he whips out his American passport.

While she doesn't understand English, she does know what that passport means.

A ticket out of her shithole into the Land of Opportunity.

And she jumps up excitingly and begins yelling in Spanish.

"Yo! Yo! Puedo ser tu esposa tradicional!"

The gringo, with a raging boner for Latina women, lifts her up onto his horse and they ride away into the sunset.

She is free. Free from the shithole of Latin America. She is now coming to AMERICA!

Arrival to America

But where will the gringo take his new Paraguayan trad wife?

To Miami? NYC? Los Angeles?

Perhaps she can live in "the other Philadelphia."

From her small town of Filadelfia to one of America's greatest cities.

She could be his Adrian and he can be her Rocky.

Once the airplane lands though, she can hardly hold her excitement.

And she kisses her gringo on the cheek and says in her best English that Google Translate gave her: "baby!! Thank you for marrying me & taking me to America!! I LOVE YOU!"

The gringo grins and tells her "you're an American now and we're going to have American children! I will BREED you."

"Yes baby! Yes all the children you want, I give you! My Latina womb is YOURS" she replies.

Then she follows her White Savior off the airplane.

Taking her first steps out the door though, our Paraguayan trad wife quickly becomes confused.

In the distance, she doesn't see the Statue of Liberty or Empire State Building. 

There's no Golden Gate Bridge anywhere.

The Lincoln Memorial? NOPE.

Hollywood? Nowhere to be seen.

Instead, all she sees are endless fields of NOTHING.

A few cows shitting on the grass or fucking each other in the distance.

Some rundown looking buildings.

A very small airport in front of her that maybe sees 3 flights a day carrying 8 people at most each.

Behind the airport, there seems to be an alcoholic that just took a massive shit onto the sidewalk.

And some other homeless people feet away from him that are digging through clothes in a donation box next to a gas station.

Where all of a sudden some obese woman can be seen running out of the gas station with an employee chasing after her for the stolen mountain dew

With Trump flags here and there that read "SEND THEM BACK!"

This is America, Baby. 

You've been saved.

Welcome to the Land of Opportunity.

The Latin American Women Brought to the Best of America

While it might be hard to believe, our unfortunate Paraguayan Trad Wife is not the only Third World Latina being kidnapped brought to the best shitholes that America has to offer.

It's actually kinda funny when you think about it.

Growing up, I also remember there being foreigners in the small town of Iowa I grew up in.

There was a Spanish dude, German gal, Puerto Rican chick, a dude born in Brazil but basically raised all his life in small town Iowa, some Philippine woman, a few Mexicans here and there and whatever else.

And, even back then, there was the thinking "why?"

Out of all the places you could choose to live in the US, why did you choose such a small ass town in middle of nowhere Iowa that has nothing going on?

Imagine being a student who is going to study abroad in the US and they send your ass to a place like that.

Man, you got fucked. Asking for a refund anytime soon? I would!

Similarly, you have these cases where women from Latin America (and other parts of the world) that marry some dude from the US and get brought into completely random ass areas.

They aren't alway going to NYC, LA, Philadelphia, Washington DC, San Francisco or anything like that.

Instead, they're hunting for a place to live in the trailer parks of bumfuck middle of nowhere.

Of course, it's understandable from an American perspective.

Plenty of us don't live in those big cities well known to the rest of the world.

And small Iowa can be fun too!

Just the other day I was talking with a guy I know from back home and he has been entertaining the idea of going to Latin America to live here and/or maybe just find a chick to have his kid.

And I jokingly said, as you can see, that he should bring her ass to some town like Keokuk, Iowa.

I'm not from there myself but, as you can see here, it's often called the worst town of Iowa (though there are probably many other towns a lot worse).

But, even in Keokuk, I'm sure there's things to entertain your Trad Latina wife.

Like what?

Well shit uhhh ... *begins sweating profusely*

She can go check out the corn in the countryside!

*begins researching what the fuck there is to do in Keokuk*


I got you!

They have a Riverboat Museum, a Bridge Observation Deck, a park called Rand Park, a National Cemetery of the Civil War, a dam and a bowling place.

Keokuk Iowa Informational video

"Baby, welcome to America. You can now go bowling!"

At any rate, we have no shortage of examples online of people (not just men) bringing their partner from Latin America and other regions of the world back to the US and where said foreigners get stuck in completely random areas like you can see in these videos here.

Even in places more exciting like Las Vegas, the women are not always so satisfied as you can see here.

Day 1 In Las Vegas And Larissa Is NOT Impressed | 90 Day Fiancé

And that's Las Vegas! Surely that would be exciting enough for her?! Spoiled ass motherfucker.

Anyway, what are some last things to say?

Final Thoughts

There's some last minute things that come to mind in all seriousness.

First, part of me wonders if her background matters in terms of where you are setting her up if you were to take her back home.

For example, if she's a big city gal from Mexico City or Buenos Aires, I'm going to take a wild guess that she won't appreciate living in Keokuk, Iowa.

Or any small town.

But if she's from a more humble background also like some small town, then she might be able to make it work out OK in another small town environment also. 

Unless it's Keokuk. Oh God, not Keokuk!

I also feel too that it's not just her background but also how much she truly likes you.

If she just wants a green card and an American man who has lots of money, I'm betting she wants the high life in a big city.

Maybe not always but I bet it's more likely.

Of course, you could also just ask her also if she'd dig living in a small town versus a bigger city.

Second, I also think that -- at least with some of the dudes in the video above but also some I've met in real life -- some of them think they are "saving" her from the third world.

When, in reality, she's cool with her environment down there.

Not every chick is dying to live in the US actually or leave her home.

But, even if she is desperate to live in the US or escape Latin America, I just find it funny again the image of a man who thinks he is helping her "escape" Latin America but then takes her to go trailer park hunting in the US or to go live in some rural area that has nothing going on.

Damn bro, you sure saved her.

Third, it is true that a lot of Latin Americans -- especially those who are not Mexican and who come from humble backgrounds -- tend to be ignorant about the US.

Similar to how most Americans can only name a few places in Mexico like Mexico City, Cancun, Tijuana, etc.

But probably they don't know where Pachuca de Soto or Oaxaca City are.

Similarly, most Latin Americans tend to think of the US as just being Chicago, NYC, LA, San Francisco, Washington DC, Miami, Philadelphia, Texas and that's probably it.

It's the main reason why I sometimes tell them that "I'm from Chicago" instead of Iowa because some look at me like I grew a second head asking me to repeat myself and having no idea what Iowa is or where in the US it is located.

Which I can't blame them. I don't expect them to be attending the best bowling ally of the US in Keokuk or admiring our precious corn.

So, on that note, I can definitely understand the disappointment of the Latin American woman that you see in the videos above who comes to the US thinking it's a one way ticket to NYC when actually she's setting herself up in Oklahoma.

That isn't to shit on the places so many Americans do live in though. I'm sure Oklahoma and even Keokuk have something -- at least ONE THING -- of value that is cool and that the people are nice.

But obviously there's going to be at times a mismatch between her expectations based on what she thinks America is and where so many Americans actually live.

It reminds me of another article I wrote here where so many Latin American women think every American dude is swimming in cash and she wants a stable man who can provide for a family.

Only to find out that, while he does have more money than the average local, he isn't shitting out gold either.

And, in cases as humorous as a man bringing his Latina trad wife to Keokuk, he might actually be a broke ass motherfucker asking his mom for money after she already gave birth to their kid.

Paul needs money 90 day fiance

Above all, all of this reminds me of a comment I got on one of my other articles that you can read here about how you have this concept of "mejorar la raza" in Latin America.

Which means to "improve the race" by procreating with a white person.

The idea is a little bit outdated but some people do hold onto the idea down here.

It again is just ironic when said person they are "improving the race" with is some hillbilly from Alabama like the comment refers to.

"Without going too much into it, when they talk about people ‘mejorar la raza’ they mean Robert Redford and Heidi Klum types, not some fat redneck from Arkansas (or from Grimsby in my country or wherever…) with daft shorts and a back-to-front baseball cap."

While one would think that the hillbilly of Alabama wouldn't be a pussy slayer down here, the motherfucker does alright!

I've legit seen dudes -- who are legit losers back home -- do better with women down here than back home for reasons.

You might say it's for the green card and -- in the context of this article -- sometimes that is the case.

Though, as I wrote here, I think there are other reasons for why some Latin women prefer men from countries like the US (even if said man is a literal hillbilly of Alabama).

And, in practice, I don't really see said Latinas -- who want to "mejorar la raza" -- picking the Robert Redford types.

You'd be surprised and find it funny at the type of white dudes (and Americans of any skin color) that these women are getting.

The videos shown above legit show some of what you see down here.

Fourth, I'm rooting for these dudes!

I don't look down on them. I find it funny as fuck as times when these women end up with a broke dude or end up in places like Keokuk.

But I'm rooting for the men involved 100%.

After all, they are often American like I am.

So more Americans coming down to steal "their" women in Latin America and where they have OUR children instead of children with a Mexican, Colombian or Bolivian dude?


We're winning and they're losing!

American Psycho Laughing Scene

Like I wrote here, I'm all for us Americans becoming the New Latin American Elite.

Even if it pisses off some Latin American men.

The more that my people turn entire neighborhoods or cities into American communities, the better!

The more representation we have, the better!

The more the locals have to learn our language ENGLISH to accommodate us, the better!

The more we impregnate the local women with our AMERICAN SEED, the better!

Slowly and surely, we are taking over.

And there's nothing they can do about it.

After all, since I am American, why wouldn't I be rooting for my homies?

They're just like me!

Anyway, that's all I got to say.

Above all, it's just a funny detail you notice down here about American men taking their Latina girlfriend or wife to some completely random ass area of the US.

If the day comes where I ever marry a gal down here, I'm sure I'll be in the same boat.

Not taking her to live in my old small town as we'd probably move to Texas if it ever came to that but to at least introduce to the family.

Which means that she's getting that exact experience written about above with her first view of America being cows, corn, gas stations and whatever the fuck else in a small town of Iowa. 

"This ... this is America?" she asks.

"Yes baby" I respond.

Like American Psycho where you promise Dorsia and she gets something else.

American Psycho "this is dorsia?" scene

If you got anything to add anyhow, drop a comment below.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,


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