Reasons Your Latina Girlfriend Won’t Move With You to the US

In my previous relationships with Latin American women, there was always the question of "if we get married, where do we live?"

Being a foreigner from another country, this is a question you should ask her before taking things to a marriage.

With the gals I had been with formally, the topic of marriage did come out.

Both of which were down to getting married.

But move back to the US?

Either one -- from Mexico or Colombia -- were OK with the idea but expressed interest in staying in their respective countries.

But it ended up being one of those "whatever you want, we can do it."

So I could've brought them to the US had things gotten that far in terms of marriage but they never did.

And, on my end also, I never was down to take them back to the US either.

I didn't move down here to Latin America looking for love or sex and there are other things I like about living down here.

I feel that the men who are down here JUST because of love or sex tend to be one of two types:

1. Those who hate their home country and would NEVER want to bring her back and are STRONGLY opposed to the idea out of fear that she'll cheat on him or dump him when she gets a green card (which does make you question the strength of their relationship).

2. Those who don't fear the above but just prefer a foreign wife to a local one. They do NOT want to live down here because NOTHING else makes them like Latin America beyond finding someone to marry.

Still, I believe men in both camps need to still have the conversation of "where will we live?" when in a relationship with a Latin American woman because obviously it's a topic to discuss.

You are a foreigner and are not from her country. You might even someday change your mind and WANT to go back (especially if kids are involved).

So, even if you don't want to go back, I'd still prefer a woman who would at least be open to it down the road just in case it would be beneficial to your family.

Having said that, you should also be aware of the obvious reasons for why a Latin American woman -- or a person of any nationality -- would be hesitant to move abroad.

While it's typical to think of every person south of the border as someone who is just DYING to move to the US and get a green card, it's actually not true at all.

Most people don't want to move to the US even though quite a few do.

I'd be willing to bet that a majority (over 50% and that's being generous) do NOT want to move to the US.

She might if you both determine it's the best thing for your children but she'll likely still prefer life home in her country unless she is coming from some very desperate situation (escaping poverty, violence, etc) or if she is an upper class gal who wants to live in Miami and take pics for Instagram.

Anyway, let's get to the point: why would a Latin American woman (or a person of any background) be hesitant to move to your country?

Let's get to that covering each point briefly because most of this doesn't need THAT much of an explanation.

It's pretty obvious why anyone would have this hesitancy. 

She'll Miss Her Family

What else is there to say?

This is one major difference I think between Latin Americans and folks from the US or Canada.

While you do have people who are very close to their family and I have gotten verbal shit for moving abroad from family before (though I'd say my family has also been supportive in many other cases), I'd say that it's easier for us folks from the US or Canada to be away from the family for long periods of time.

Everyone in my family lives far from each other.

I only ever saw my cousins, uncles, grandparents and more every Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And that was only on my mom's side.

I don't even remember what my grandpa on my dad's side looks like despite meeting him once in my life and only met his brother and niece once in my life.

Of course, maybe my family was more extreme in being far from each other.

Still, in other families I have noticed, I do think that we generally are more comfortable as a country being far from our family members than your typical Latin American.

And, if you move her away, she'll likely not see her family except like once or twice a year if I had to guess.

One other thing to say though is that some Latin American nationalities (like Mexican, Puerto Rican, Guatemalan, etc) have more people with family in the US.

So if this is a concern to take into account, just know some gals of some countries down here could MAYBE make the transition a little bit easier if she has family members already up here.

And, when it comes to Puerto Rican, at least she and her family in Puerto Rico have an easy and restriction free access to the US to visit you all living up there.

So keep that in mind too.

No Friends

This is similar to the last point so not much needs to be said here.

Obviously, by taking her to the US, you are making her leave behind her friends.

It's similar to the topic about her family though because the same Latin American nationalities tend to have more cultural representation in the US.

If she is Mexican and you bring her to about anywhere in the US minus a small town in North Dakota or if she is Cuban and you bring her to Florida, at least you have a fighting chance of helping her make friends with people like her.

Without that though, I could only guess that she'd feel lonelier than what she'd be like otherwise.

Even though there is a cultural similarity between Latin American countries, I'm not sure how well a random Paraguayan woman can fit in with the Mexican influence in the country.

Could she?

Maybe to a degree but I'd have no idea.

Something to consider anyway.

No Speak English

I doubt this is much of an issue.

Spanish and English (or even Portuguese) are not THAT far from each other like Mandarin or Arabic.

On top of that, plenty of Latin Americans do speak enough English and there is A LOT of interest among the locals to learn the language.

Especially younger ones who are below the age of 35.

And, if you are her gringo boyfriend, I can easily see a situation where maybe she wants to practice her English with you anyhow.

Still, for some gals out there (even if she wants to learn English), I can see how this would be an annoyance to live in a country where your language isn't the native language.

Job Issues

My last Mexican girlfriend was a med student aspiring to be a doctor.

Personally, I don't know how easily she'd be able to get a job as a doctor in the US with a Mexican license to practice medicine.

I'd imagine there'd be some hoops to jump through but I have no idea.

Regardless of how many hoops though, I've heard foreign gals moving to the US can't get a job anyway for a few years until approved.

Here in Mexico, it is similar.

A Colombian ex of mine named Marcela moved to Mexico years ago after we broke up to marry a Mexican guy and they live north of where I do.

I know that she has had legal restrictions from getting a job for a few years.

So it is something to consider: the impact that moving abroad can have on her career.

Racism Concerns?

Personally, I'm not sure how much this factor plays in but I can see how for some.

If you are a Latin American and you watch the news about Trump making mean comments about Mexicans or Salvadorians, you can easily play that as an attack onto yourself.

Regardless of your politics, obviously this can be a concern.

With those occasional videos you find going viral online of Americans telling Latinos to "just speak English" and political related things like whatever Trump says these days.

With my last girlfriend, I remember her having issue with what Trump said about MS-13 folks (even though I think the media misrepresented what he said but that's another topic).

And, even if all of that wasn't an issue, just the fact that you are now a minority in another country isn't always nice either.

As one of the few white guys in Mexico, I can say that there are positives and negatives to it.

Not to mention the outsider effect that you can read about here.

So I'll leave it at that.

Stereotypes of Her Character

Personally, I doubt this would be much of an issue for her but I could see it as such.

It kinda merges with the last point but I figured to make it separate.

There are possible assumptions about her character that she might face when moving abroad.

Like when people call her "exotic" to being with you "just for the green card."

The reason why I doubt this issue a little bit is I wonder how much said Latina would be concerned about said issues before moving abroad for the first time.

And, on the green card issue, that type of judgement can be made down here also.

I've heard people doubt my relationships with gals down here thinking that they are "just a thing of the summer."

Meaning nothing serious.

Oh I'll just go back home and leave her behind!

And, as you can read here, even one gal I celebrated my birthday with was told "you are just with him for the money" despite me not having much money and not spending a dime on her.

These issues could be something worse if she moves abroad but I just wonder how much that plays into her calculation before moving abroad.

For some gals, I could see it.

The Opposite of the Gringo Complaint on Time

As I wrote before, it's not uncommon for gringos to complain about how slow everything is in Mexico.

And, as I wrote here, I've met Mexicans who had the same complaint about the US: everything is so fast and people are SO STRICT if you are even late by a SECOND.

For a Latina to move to the US, I imagine this could be a complaint of hers also but it'll depend on the gal.

Legal Issues

As we know, there are certain visa issues that come with traveling.

As I wrote here, Chileans supposedly don't have many visa issues as of 2022 when it comes to traveling to the US.

So, if you want a nice Latina girlfriend, I guess Chile isn't the worst place in the world!

Otherwise, you very well might have some issues with getting your gal into the US even for a visit to see your family.

Not impossible to overcome but something to consider.

I remember having a gal from Colombia named Marcela who had to fill out a questionnaire before getting a visa to the US.

I watched her fill it out and it had questions on the computer like "are you a terrorist?" and "are you planning on overthrowing the US government?"

I'm glad my government is making sure Marcela wasn't a terrorist.

The only thing she terrorized is MAH DICK.

Anyway, it is what it is.

For a gal to move abroad, this can be a headache.

Similarly, when I was in my first year in Mexico, I remember contemplating moving to Paraguay (never did) and a gal who was in love with me (though we never had a relationship) named Angie was looking into visa issues for Mexicans going to Paraguay.

If we had a relationship and if we had gone to Paraguay, then it also would've been something for her to consider.

Cultural Adjustments

There are other miscellaneous cultural adjustments one has to make obviously.

Concerning the food she'll miss, the music, missing places that bring up nostalgia back home, etc.

It's not just a cultural adjustment to "being able to show up late" to everything.

You get the idea.

She Doesn't Love You

Finally, let's consider the reality that not every Latin American woman loves you and is just using you.

For that reason, she doesn't want to leave her country for your country.

Perhaps she's just using you for money?

Reminds me of this character here named Mike from 90 Day Fiance where his gal goes back on marrying him because she doesn't want to move to the US and doesn't want to be with him anymore despite enjoying his money whenever he helped her out.

Mike Ximena 90 Day Fiance Break Up

So consider that possibility also.

Actions to Take

While I've never tried taking a girl back to the US, there are some things I've learned or just know you should probably consider before doing so (and I mean to live there, not visit).

So I'm not an expert on the things you should do but just repeating things here I've heard or make obvious common sense advice.

For one, obviously help her learn English now before you even try it.

Two, I'd almost wonder if it'd be best to have her do a trial run visiting the US before trying to move her here. Just see if she'd like it or not.

Third, perhaps aim for moving to a place with lots of Hispanics? Even if she isn't Mexican or Cuban, I'd imagine a place like Texas or Florida would be nicer than North Dakota.

Fourth, stack up on cash. Everyone I've heard about who tried moving a gal back always ended up spending more money than they expected.

Fifth, take into account her career situation and how to help her get the job she wants in a new country that may or may not recognize well her qualifications from the other country.

Sixth, keep in mind the children you two might have and how to raise them in the way you want being a multicultural marriage.

Sixth, be in agreement on how many visits to her country or how many visits to have her family visit you all in the US. After all, she'll likely be lonely and this is an issue for her. Try to be considerate anyhow of the fact that you took her away from the country she has always called home and issues that can come with that.

Anything to Add?

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Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt

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