Am I Fluent in Spanish?

Published July 9, 2021 in Learning Spanish & Portuguese

Back when I was in college, I had a German professor who was arguably the best Spanish professor in the college I went to.

If you took her class seriously, your Spanish was going to improve.

She wasn’t unfair in her grading and teaching but she did push you well enough.

On one particular afternoon, I remember sitting in her classroom and somehow the topic of fluency came up.

Not sure how but we got there.

And she gave her opinion that – being a Spanish professor herself (and a non native speaker of Spanish) – that she will likely never reach true fluency.

Despite, as I said, being a college professor of Spanish.

You would think she could reach full fluency, no?

Well, depends on what you mean by “fluent.”

Just the other day, I got onto a call with my sister back from Iowa.

She was playing Minecraft with her daughter and mentioning how I’d really like Minecraft also.

Back when I was her age, I was more of a RuneScape again.

#TeamRunescape

Anyway…

My sister was mentioning to me how her daughter has learned some Spanish because, if I remember right, the guy she had her daughter with is now dating a Mexican born chick.

And, maybe for other reasons, her daughter is learning Spanish – I’m sure she’ll have to learn a foreign language in high school or college like I did.

Still, the topic of Spanish came up.

My sister also wanted to ask me “is this song Spanish or Portuguese?”

And sent me some song on Messenger that was on Spotify.

Was Spanish from what I could tell by the title.

Anyway, the topic of Spanish came up.

And my sister said to her daughter that “I am fluent in Spanish.”

Now, I didn’t disagree with her or comment on that.

But I did think to myself “well, no, not really.”

It’s a topic, no?

Fluency.

What is fluency?

To be fair, even I don’t know.

Nor do I really give a shit on what “fluency” technically means.

But I will give you my non-expert opinion on what fluency in a foreign language means.

My History with Spanish

Growing up in a small town in Iowa, I never needed to learn Spanish.

The only time that Spanish was ever a thing was whenever I visited this Mexican restaurant in town that is arguably the best Mexican restaurant we have.

They have been open since I was like 2 or whatever.

And, back when I was very young, they’d take me into the back and show me what the kitchen looked like.

And, as a kid, would offer me some sweet tasting snack.

To this day, the owner whose name is Maria, still offers me that snack once in a blue moon whenever I happen to be in town.

Which is almost never these days because I only visit maybe once every 6 months.

Though, in the age of travel restrictions and all, I haven’t been back in a year and half now.

I know they are getting close to the age of retirement probably so I really hope I can stop by whenever that happens.

Well, I have no idea when they will retire but I imagine it is getting within a decade since they are getting to that age, I imagine.

Still, would be nice to know what that sweet snack is called because it is dope.

I think Maria offers it to me nowadays when it happens as a way of saying “like the old days when you were young.”

It’s a nice touch.

Anyway, that’s a side topic – sorry for rambling.

Well, growing up, that was the most Spanish I ever needed was in their restaurant.

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, she might tease me and have me order in Spanish.

Or call me “Mateo.”

She still does – I don’t mind it. It’s cute.

And, funny enough, I go by Mateo sometimes in Mexico because sometimes I feel it is easier for some folks in Latin America to understand “Mateo” better than “Matthew.”

As I wrote here, sometimes folks in Latin America fuck up Matthew enough so sometimes I lean towards calling myself “Mateo.”

And it’s tradition no?

I’ve been Mateo for a long while now since my days visiting this Maria’s restaurant.

Got to keep up with tradition, don’t you know?

Anyway, that was the most Spanish I ever needed.

Until high school.

Then they made me take Spanish to graduate.

Same in college.

Then, soon enough, I began traveling through Latin America.

And the rest is history.

Now I have 6 years under my belt as of this writing in Latin America and have studied Spanish formally for 8 years more or less?

So am I fluent in Spanish yet, god damn it?

Ranking My Own Spanish

I like to tease my mom.

She sometimes says to me “Matt, come home! No more Latin America!”

Of course, I give her the BS reasons for why I got to stay.

Silly shit that she knows is nothing serious.

Once in a while, I say “No, I can’t come back! I have to practice my Spanish!”

Which, to be fair, I suspect she sniffs the BS from.

“OK, cmon gringo! Almost a decade of Spanish and still not there yet?!” she yells back in frustration.

“It’s true! Tough language! I must practice more! So I get hot girlfriend! Hot girlfriend from rural village of Bolivia! They speak Spanish, don’t you know?” I proclaim back.

Anyway, am I really in need of more Spanish practice?

Well, that question is easy – no.

I feel very confident in Spanish.

In fact, I’d be willing to bet I feel more confident in Spanish than most gringos who travel to Latin America.

Which isn’t saying much since most only spend a week in Cancun and that’s it.

Not very strong competition, huh?

Still, because of my years down here…..

And also because of my diverse experience with Spanish from most countries of the region….

I’d say that I’m alright.

I have always said – if you can understand what a Dominican is saying in Spanish, then your Spanish is good enough.

And, as you can read here, I understood a nice Dominican lady quite well!

Back in 2017 when she had her back against the wall, fingering her pussy with her black panties around her knees in a pubic bathroom, tongue out and look in her eyes that screamed to be bred by the white cock.

Did I understand her when she whispered seductively “oh papi…”

Of course!

So, her being Dominican, I guess you can say my Spanish is alright since I understood her just fine in the act.

And, outside of degenerate moments, I understood her just fine.

Including other folks I met in the DR when I was there.

And that’s a serious point actually – if you can understand whatever the fuck a Dominican is saying, then you truly are doing well with your Spanish.

That’s no fucking exaggeration – they are the toughest motherfuckers I have ever met when it comes to Spanish.

Along with Caribbean Coast Colombians.

Those two are the Boss Level of Spanish.

Granted, some say Chileans are the Boss Level but I disagree.

I never found Chileans hard to understand with my minimal time there.

Minimal time to be fair.

So I stand by it in all seriousness – if you can understand a Dominican, then you have beaten the Ultimate Boss of Spanish in the last level of the videogame you have been playing called Latin America.