One time when I was with an ex girlfriend of mine….
Her name was Brenda and she was a Mexican chick from Hidalgo, Mexico.
By this point, we had been together for a year in total before I ended the relationship with her.
Well, roughly near the end of our relationship at around maybe 8 or 9 months in, we had a pregnancy scare.
It had been some odd days now and she was getting concerned that she got pregnant by me.
Well, we were in the metro station of Cuatro Caminos area waiting for the train to start moving…
And as it does, I start pondering how much I fucked up now…
Asking her questions like “how much would it cost to raise a kid in Mexico?”
Because, you see, gringos always like to say it’s cheaper to live in Latin America…
Everything is cheaper down here!
I mean, are kids cheaper too?
Like 10 dollars a month per kid to raise them?
And she guestimates that maybe 5000 pesos or 250 bucks more or less per month would cover the cost of a kid.
Now, she never had kids before in her life and was a little bit younger than me so it’s not likely she would know perfectly.
But when she said 250, I wiped the sweat off my forehead and went…
“ohh, que bien! Only 5000 pesos? Shit, I can knock you up like 5 times and we’ll be ok, girl.”
It did actually make me feel fine – ok, 250 is fine.
Anyway, the scare was just a scare.
We never had to put her guestimate to the test.
That would have been fucked had she been really pregnant.
But my time with her and also with a wide variety of other women down here…
Mostly those who I have hooked up with and some who I dated…
Mixed with the fact that I am always getting older…
Has made me ponder the bigger question beyond “which Tinder chick seems more down to fuck tonight?”
Which is the topic of marriage and children in Latin America.
For some gringos, the question becomes a reality without even them pondering it first…
Like those, such as myself almost, who accidently knock up a chick down here and have to take on that responsibility.
I know of one American guy who basically spends like 6 months in the US or more working random jobs like in the oil fields or whatever….
And spending the occasional time he can in the Dominican Republic because he knocked up some random hookup chick.
He tried to make it work out in his words but he wasn’t able to keep a real relationship with her and they separated.
Now he sees the kid just a tiny bit out of the year while sending a hundred bucks more or less to the kid each month apparently.
Other gringos I know of – who happen to knock up the girl – end up sticking around and making it work.
And you have some, such as this guy named John here, who didn’t knock up some hookup chick but fell in love first.
Marriage and all and trying to make the family work.
Then you have others who try to raise a family down here but ultimately decide that it is better to bring them back to the US or wherever for a better life elsewhere.
Anyway, it’s a topic that quite a few gringos will confront when down here if they ever ponder a love life beyond endless hookups.
Here’s my thoughts on the topic below from a young man who has never been married or had kids before (in LATAM or anywhere).
So obviously there will be nuances about this that I don’t fully appreciate but are my thoughts anyway from what I want out of life and what I have observed from others.
So let’s get started.
Is Hooking Up Fulfilling?
First, let’s address the current situation I am in and what many other gringos find themselves in.
Is hooking up “fulfilling?”
You so get this comment from some folks who look down upon those who hook up often.
Either be it the woman who has a distaste for men who hookup often without giving commitment.
To the jealous guy who is too insecure about his own sex life.
Or the married man who secretly hates his own marriage life and dislikes those who never went down the same path…
And others too perhaps.
Well, from experience, I wouldn’t say that it is “fulfilling” in that it gives you happiness in life.
On the other hand, it does fulfill a desire obviously.
There does come a lot of physical gratification obviously from fulfilling your deeper fetishes and having women do certain things for you that turn you on a lot.
It’s almost like a high in a way.
So it can be satisfying!
But not fulfilling.
Though it doesn’t make me unhappy either.
Neither does it make me happy.
It simply satisfies a lust or an urge.
And when you have a woman who is a perfect match for you sexually – the moments you have with her will be unforgettable.
It’s that high again – what you look for in the woman who loves to be degraded much worse than your average woman with a sex drive similar to yours.
Fucking someone like that is like eating a hamburger or having a nice drink.
It won’t make you happy.
But I don’t look for it to make me happy either.
Just to give me pleasure in the moment as I go on.
Having said that, I have also entertained the idea of getting married and having children.
Especially with past girlfriends and chicks who I have dated in the US and in Latin America.
So let’s cover that.
Is Dating Fulfilling?
On the opposite side of the coin, we have dating.
Possibly marriage one day.
Though I have never been married or had kids, I can’t comment on that specifically.
Although I have seen plenty of men who were extremely miserable when married.
I’ve known a lot more miserable married men than happy married men.
On top of my head, I can think of maybe one guy at least who is happy or I believe is happy.
OK, I can’t say he is happy but I assume he is – he’s married to my sister so I hope he is anyway.
And I hope she is also obviously.
I can think of at least 5 who got divorced already.
And two who are miserable but won’t divorce.
But that is understandable as divorce isn't very pretty....
Wedding Crashers -- Meditation Scene
Not much of a sample size for any scientific analysis.
Obviously this alone won’t say if most folks are happy or unhappy in marriage but you can look at the studies that prove that online.
Also, I can think of another guy I know of who is miserable and whose wife hits him.
Anyway, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy marriage that makes you fulfilled in life.
Though I have been in relationships with women that I loved at the time and it never made me feel “fulfilled.”
I still have certain issues in life that make me sad at times and being in a relationship only helped a tiny bit with that but didn’t make me feel fulfilled.
On top of that, I disagree strongly with the idea that being in a relationship or marriage is what is supposed to make you fulfilled.
Mostly because it sounds like to me that the person who is saying that must not have any friends or passions in life.
What type of a loser do you have to be where your wife or husband is your only source of happiness in life?
And you got nothing else?
No passions? No job you love? No friends? Hobbies?
Either way, then you have the kids.
And I can get how the kids can give you passion in life since you are taking care of your offspring.
That makes more sense – though some kids can grow to be fucked up in life and make your life miserable.
Perhaps if you raise them wrong or just out of bad luck.
Here’s a funny example of that below here.
Either way, having kids and being married absolutely can make you happy obviously. But it can also make you miserable and it has to many.
Anyway, that also assumes you want kids in life.
Not everyone does and that’s ok.
In LATAM or elsewhere.
Marriage & Kids
Personally, I don’t see much I can get out of marriage and kids in Latin America or the US that I can’t get already in life.
It depends on what you want obviously.
From what I have seen, the main reasons most people get married seem to be:
- Start a family
- Marry the high school sweet heart just because we are young and all
- Marry for love in general
- Fear of dying alone
- Financial reasons
- Access to sex
- Religious reasons
So let’s break that down.
First, start a family. This makes more sense to me than anything else.
Technically, you can get a girl pregnant without being married to her but I wouldn’t advise that. You know, let’s not have a kid live in a single parent household and all, you know?
This is really the only justifiable reason to get married in my opinion.
It makes sense.
Though, being honest, I’m not sure I want to have kids myself.
I just see too many issues with it and I don’t feel anywhere motivated to have one.
The only time I feel motivated to make a girl pregnant is when I’m balls deep inside her and am about to cum.
And you have that biological instinct to make her pregnant – that voice of the devil in your head that goes “fucking bitch, I’m going to breed your slut ass!”
But then before you nut, another voice goes off from the angel on the other side of your head yelling “child support, fool!”
Then you get scared and pull out.
That’s more of a biological desire though to make a chick pregnant than to be a father.
I know I wouldn’t mind making a chick pregnant but I also have a good feeling that I’d hate raising a child.
So I’m not really convinced having children is for me.
And if not, I don’t see much reason to get married as I can get just about everything I want without getting married.
Who knows – maybe I will change in a few odd years. Give this article about 5 to 10 years for me to give updated thoughts on the “being a dad” subject.
Second, marrying the high school sweet heart. Obviously, I don’t agree with this so much. If you are young and naïve…
Don’t have money.
No experience in life.
And will change greatly in the next 10 years, I don’t get why you’d get married.
Who I was 10 years ago (before I started living abroad or traveling) was a bit different than who I am now.
It blows my mind seeing people marry at the age of 20 or whatever.
Third, marry for love. This also doesn’t make sense to me as of now.
You two were in a relationship before and perfectly in love.
If you don’t want kids, why marry?
What, the love didn’t exist before and now it only does when you give her half your shit?
Either way, I can perhaps understand why a man would do this a tiny bit…
Keep in mind I am fairly young…
And since I don’t desire to have children and like to hookup often….
It doesn’t make as much sense for me now to marry.
But I have heard some guys say “well, your libido goes down in life and you desire a stronger connection.”
I can’t relate to that since I haven’t been through those changes so anything is possible.
Reminds me of this Doug Stanhope clip here – it is a standup comedy bit on a different topic but he mentions libido doing down as you get older.
Check it out!
Fourth, fear of dying alone.
This is even worse if you are a woman.
If I remember right, I think I remember reading that women statistically die after their husbands do.
So if you are a woman and your husband dies….
Well, shit, I guess it’s time to replace him at the Husband Market or die alone!
Either way, the point is true – plenty of people do die alone despite having been married.
Either they get divorced and die alone without being remarried until death do us part…
Or the partner dies and they die alone.
And even when the partner dies, the can die anytime randomly without expecting it and without their partner by their side.
Die alone they still did!
So either way, it doesn’t make sense to me.
Get a dog or a cat. Have some friends in life.
Maybe a chick you are seeing that you don’t marry.
She might leave if you don’t put the ring on….
Well, get a new one, I guess.
Boom. Problem solved. You have people in your life until it’s time to kick the bucket.
Plus, on a darker note, there are plenty of people who are married who are more alone than people who are single.
Meaning they have a spouse in the house that they hate and who hates them and they get into constant arguments all the time.
Maybe some cheating on the side…
Which would you prefer – dying single or dying with a person you hate that you had to live with for decades?
Of course, like I said, you could find the one you love until death hits but statistically that isn’t likely.
At any rate, having someone living with me isn't very appealing in my current moment in life as I prefer having silence at home right now.
Here's a funny clip I always liked....
Fifth, financial reasons. When I say financial reasons, I don’t mean tax benefits or anything like that.
That is stupid – if you are getting married just for tax benefits, you are an idiot.
But I am referring to the women who marry an older-about-to-kick-the-bucket man who has lots of money.
Suck his dick for a 10 million dollar payday?
Sounds good for the woman – not a bad idea necessarily.
Here’s a funny article of this older dude who tried taking his younger wife off the will by doing to the Dominican Republic for a divorce she didn’t know about…
Sixth, access to sex. This is even stupider. Not only do you not love the person…
But you are marrying someone who will get ugly overtime and you won’t want to fuck anymore anyhow.
Plus, you give up all the sex you could be having with other people in that time…
No guarantee also she will fuck you when the ring is put on – as shown by all the sexless marriages.
And given how most people can find someone to fuck in any big city on a decent enough basis, I just don’t get how anyone could marry for sex.
Even if you are a midget with a 2 inch dick and you literally can’t get anyone to fuck you….
Go to a strip club in Medellin or wherever maybe!
Not encouraging it necessarily but I’m just saying….
Seventh, religious reasons. I can’t comment on this since I’m an atheist.
But if I suspected that an all mighty being from the clouds was going to smite me with a thunder bolt like some Pikachu shit and make me suffer for eternity for not marrying and having lots of premarital sex….
Well shit -- I might get married also.
That is kinda convincing.
But now that we have covered my basis thoughts on marriage and having children….
Let’s cover some thoughts I have had on this subject as it better relates to Latin America.
Factor 1: American or Latina Women?
First factor that comes to mind are some of the differences between American and Latina chicks.
First off, there are some noticeable differences between different types of Latinas – Argentines, Bolivians, Venezuelans, etc
So when talking about “Latinas,” keep in mind it is all just a broad generalization.
Either way, I don’t have much of a preference between either one.
I guess you can argue that – yes – there is a cultural or linguistic between myself and the chicks down here.
Whereas dating chicks back in the US would allow me to date chicks who come from a similar culture and speak my native language.
However, I don’t really find the cultural and linguistic differences to be that big.
I speak Spanish well enough and that is never an issue.
Culturally? Any cultural differences are not really a big deal in anyway.
The only one I can think of on top of my head is when you are an atheist and have to explain to the family that you are.
People down here seem less accepting of that but it’s workable.
When talking about differences…
I’d say the bigger issue is with class.
When you come down here as a gringo, it’s not likely you are going to end up in the lower class of society.
And the lower class society here is a bit beneath financially the lower class of the US.
And when you have a big enough financial and educational gap between yourself and the chick, then the difference in the ability to relate to them is more noticeable.
It was never so noticeable in the US but in Latin America it can be.
You also have particular issues that might come up such as if her family is poor enough and they see you as a walking ATM machine to ask money for.
For example, when I was with a Colombian girlfriend named Marcela, her family were nice but they also came from a very shitty neighborhood of Colombia.
Though I never gave her money when we were dating…
She did tell me that if she would expect us, as a married couple, to give her family a few hundred bucks each month even if they didn’t need it.
Suffice to say, we never married.
Though for other reasons also.
However, the issue of money doesn’t seem to be a thing when dating chicks of upper middle class or at least financially comfortable.
And it becomes easier to relate to them also.
So when it comes to being able to relate to Latina chicks – I’d focus on Spanish or Portuguese if your language skills are bad.
Culturally, it will be fine. There will be some differences there but they were never problematic for me.
In terms of class? That is where I’d be mindful of.
Then you have looks…
Are Latinas sexier than American chicks?
I wrote more about this here.
I’d say Latinas overall are not really sexier but there are some countries and cities where you will find hotter chicks down here on average.
And I say on average – not every chick in Medellin or Rio is hot as fuck.
Again – on average.
But I’d say most of Latin America isn’t on average better – it just happens to be also that gringos usually (but not always) have better dating success down here as I wrote about in detail here.
Factor 2: Alimony & Child Custody Laws
Next, another factor to consider are the consequences of getting divorced if you ever get married down here.
One reason why I’d never get married in the US is because of the insane laws against men that fuck us over so much.
I’ve seen a handful of men get fucked badly up there and that number goes up every year.
Here’s a great video of this Canadian named Dave Foley go into detail about how badly he got fucked over here below.
On a more positive note, check out this clip here of Kids in the Hall, which Dave Foley always had a funny role in.
Speaking of Kids in the Hall, I got to include this clip also.
I’m not an expert on divorce laws in Latin America.
It varies by each country.
I have looked into it briefly.
Countries like Mexico don’t seem overly favorable.
Chile, on my brief research, looked relatively nice compared to countries like the US.
Though is that saying much?
Anyway, I plan on writing a big article someday comparing the divorce laws in each Latin American country to help those have all that information available in one space to help them decide which country down here is better to get married in.
For those interested!
Because, based on my brief initial research, it does seem better down here overall but it varies by country.
Factor 3: Security
Some Latin countries are obviously more dangerous than others.
If I had to have kids down here, I honestly don’t know if I would want to raise them in a country like Mexico.
While many do raise kids here and they turn out perfectly fine…
I’m just not convinced that Mexico is the right country for that.
It’s easy to live here as a single man and take care of yourself.
I can handle myself fine.
But to have kids on the line?
Whose security could be in jeopardy with all the insecurity that exists?
The occasional person who calls you from an unknown number telling you they have your kids taken hostage and want money?
I got a friend named Angie who told me she got a call like that about someone kidnapping her dad.
It was all bullshit – they never touched her dad
Just trying to scare her into sending money right now.
Though it could happen!
Kidnappings do happen obviously.
Though there are other Latin countries where, if I wanted kids, I feel it would be alright.
If I wanted kids anyway, I’d honestly only go for the most comfortable countries down here or go back home with them.
Countries like Chile, Uruguay or Argentina for example.
There are other safe countries like Paraguay for example or Costa Rica…
But Paraguay is one of the poorest countries down here and both countries are aimed to get ass fucked by climate change relative to most Latin countries…
As you can read here….
So I’m not sure I’d want to be there with kids and family in either place.
But Costa Rica or Panama wouldn’t be terribly bad though – at least they are not as poor as Paraguay perhaps.
Factor 4: Flying Over Distance
While I would prefer countries like Argentina, Uruguay or Chile for raising kids…
There is an issue.
The cost from Argentina to the US is a bit more expensive than Mexico to the US.
At least from what I remember.
I remember flights to Argentina being as much as 1,500 bucks to Chicago – maybe it is less these days but who knows.
Sometimes even more expensive though than that!
While flights from CDMX to Chicago? Like 300.
Plus costs traveling from Chicago to my hometown in Iowa.
So like maybe 500 for a roundtrip overall.
But that flight to Argentina, when factoring in the cost from Chicago to my hometown, could be maybe 1700 or more.
So if I had just one kid, a wife and me (and the wife is likely to make significantly less than I do since jobs pay shit down here) – we are talking 1,500 USD for roundtrip from Mexico…
Or nearly 5,000 USD from Argentina.
Granted, I think flying in from Chile is cheaper but still….
That would be a pain in the ass financially and also to cover the longer trip.
I remember my first trip from Buenos Aires to Chicago going back home…
They flew me from Buenos Aires to Santa Cruz, Bolivia…
Bolivia to Miami.
Miami to some other city in Florida – I think Orlando.
Then to Chicago.
Then a train home!
Any rivers or mountains to hike over also?
Like fuck off really…
Maybe I just got unlucky with the extra flights that one time – hopefully it’s not that bad normally.
So, either way, it would be a bigger pain in the ass going from Argentina or Chile to the US.
Or Uruguay obviously.
Factor 5: Schools, Hospitals & More
When it comes to healthcare, I’d suspect that it would actually be beneficial to live in Latin America.
As healthcare costs in the US are so fucking insane that it might be better to just stay down here.
Plenty of good healthcare down here also.
When it comes to schools?
Well, honestly, I’d probably prefer them to be in a private school as I’ve heard bad things about the public education down here.
Though that might not be as bad in a place like Chile or Uruguay…
So maybe in one of those countries, public education would be suitable.
But I don’t know for sure.
And when you factor in higher education…..
Though universities in the US are much better in quality…
Unless tuition goes down significantly in 18 years or more, I wouldn’t want my kids going through that shit.
A big fat fucking no to sending them to some school that puts them, on average, like 32,000 USD in debt or whatever it is these days for college kids.
Now imagine how much higher that average will be in 18 years or more if they don’t fix it…
Plus all the money I got to piss away at that.
This might be one of the better factors for raising a family down here.
Factor 6: Housing Costs
Similar to public education down here, I’m also not as familiar with housing costs down here.
It obviously depends on what part of LATAM you are in.
For example, in Pachuca, Mexico, I remember seeing decent looking homes for like 70,000 USD.
Some even much cheaper than that!
Though the cheaper ones didn’t look as nice…
You also have other parts of LATAM that are obviously much more expensive….
For example, I’m not sure I’d ever want to purchase property in Panama City or Santiago, Chile.
I’d imagine the prices would be fairly bad and perhaps property ownership would be better in the US.
Though there is another factor when it comes to property ownership…
One issue I’ve heard in some countries down here is sometimes gringos can find themselves in a situation where they lose their homes!
Such as some criminal group taking it or squatting as you can read here in Mexico.
I’ve also heard corrupt judges in some countries like Colombia have worked to try and rob foreigners of the homes they purchased.
Not sure how big of an issue that would be but security and corruption in general would be concerns obviously for where I’d buy a home.
All around driving my decision – if I wanted a family – to either back to the US or go to parts like Argentina, Chile or Uruguay.
Perhaps find a relatively cheap and safe city or small town to settle in and call it a day.
Those are just some of the thoughts that come to mind when it comes to the decision to have a marriage and family in Latin America.
Being unmarried and with no kids, I’m sure there are many other factors I could have brought up.
Got any yourself?
Drop them below.
Well, enjoy this funny (or sad depending on your humor) clip below of this guy dumping his cheating wife but her humiliating him to a degree.
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