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Gringo Analysis on Improving the Mexico City Metro

On my second day in Mexico City ever back in 2017, I left my hotel to go run around the city.

If I remember right, I think I had a date set up that day or it at least sometime within that same week.

For the date, we were set to meet at Zocalo Metro.

However, she showed up late and I realized she brought her best friend alone without telling me.

Meaning no sex basically.

So, seeing any continued time with her as being a waste, I figured I might end the date right there once I found her.

However, it then crossed my mind that maybe I can use her instead.

You see, I had an apartment to check out and I didn’t know my way around this massive city just yet.

So I told her that we can all go to this awesome café I know in Roma Norte and I’ll buy the food and drinks.

Seemingly excited by the idea, they help me get to Roma Norte area by using the bus system.

Then I told them that I need them to call someone (the landlord) and I told him that I am early.

He shows up very soon after.

I leave them behind outside as I went in with the landlord to check the place out.

Turned out to be the very first apartment I had in Mexico City.

Suffice to say, when I walked out, they both realized that food and coffee were not part of the day.

So I had to figure out how to get back to Zocalo area myself.

Ultimately, I took the metro station back to Zocalo area but found it all very confusing.

Being from a small town in Iowa, I obviously have limited experience using any metro system at all in my life.

If I remember correctly, I think the only other metro systems I had ever used before was once in NYC and also in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

But, overall, I didn’t know very well how to get around the city.

Suffice to say, I came to understand the statement people make about how “Mexico City is so CHAOTIC and DIFFICULT to get around!”

Though, in hindsight after all these years here, I’d disagree with the idea that it is “hard to get around’ but that’s another topic.

Anyhow, it was a little bit confusing that day when going back to Zocalo area.

However, one older gentleman in the metro station pointed me in the right direction.

Since then, it obviously hasn’t been very difficult to use the metro ever for me.

Still, over the last 4 years of using the metro in Mexico City, there have been some things that I have noticed that could be improved.

And, while thinking about what to write here, there’s some less obvious things that, on the surface, might not seem necessary but would be cool to have in the Mexico City metro system.

So let’s jump into it.

Idea 1: Random Stops

Years ago, I was traveling from Metro Juanacatlan to Metro Insurgentes.

Not a far ride at all really – just a few stops away.

Anyway, I had a date with some Mexican chick waiting for me by Insurgentes and so off I went.

However, the metro stopped at one point along the way in between two different metro stations and basically stayed still for 20 or so minutes literally.

Almost half an hour.

In which, at times, it would nudge a little bit forward and then stop again.

Move a tiny bit again and then stop right away.

Then move a bit faster and then STOP!

And everyone is pushed a little bit forward losing their balance from the sudden stop.

Thankfully, I was sitting down at the time so it wasn’t as annoying.

Still, in a train full of a shit ton of people at that time while waiting for half an hour, I was also sweating my ass off.

At any rate, it’s an issue that needs to be addressed – the random stops and long waits that sometimes, once in a while, you will endure while using the metro.

Why does it stop like that?

Not being from a big city, I have no fucking idea.

But it sure likes stopping sometimes!

Idea 2: Air Conditioning

Speaking of sweating your ass off…

Wouldn’t it be nice to have some air conditioning in this fucking place?

Especially when you have a metro car jam packed full of people all squished in against each other…

Too many people.

Being jerked around as the train stops and goes at varying speeds.

Having to stand a while anyhow for maybe an hour until you get to your destination at times.

Well, suffice to say, things get pretty hot.

So some ventilation would be nice!

And, to be honest, I think Mexico agrees with me!

Well, they are opening up to the idea anyhow…

Just some odd months ago, I got onto a train on the line that has Metro Insurgentes….

And, to my surprise, there was some air conditioning right above me!

Though, oddly enough, it would function for like a minute or two and then stop.

Start again like 5 minutes later.

Stop again after another minute or so.

And while it’s unfortunate that Mexico can’t seem to make an air conditioning system that can work uninterrupted…

You know, the technology is too complex and all.

Give them another 5 years to figure it out.

It’s also unfortunate that not every train has this either.

 So, all around, it’d be nice to have more air conditioning on every train.

Granted, it might not be necessary to have 24/7.

During the time of mask wearing that they enforce under Covid regulations, I’d say it should be 24/7 since the mask makes me sweat my ass off.

However, during normal times, I’d say maybe it should only be used on trains that are going through rush hour.

Otherwise, it should be fine.

Idea 3: More Maps

Even though I’ve used the metro many times each month over the last 4 years, I’ll say that I still have days where I want to check a map of the metro system from time to time.

Let’s say you are going to some obscure metro station that you have never been to before!

Or want to figure out the quickest way to get somewhere from a random point in the city…

Consequently, I’ve had days where I stop and look around to see if I can spot one of those maps they have printed on the walls showing the different metro lines.

At times, I’ll find them!

Other times, I won’t.

As a result, I might have to ask a police officer for directions.

During those times, I’ll still find it odd how there is no obvious metro map to use despite being in a part of the metro where you would think people would appreciate one.

Like maybe by the area where you have two different paths to choose from regarding which direction you want to take.

Sometimes, not too uncommon, you find there’s no map available even in those areas!

That happened to me recently at Metro Balderas in which I couldn't find a map when I needed one.

So it’s a small thing I’d improve on to make travel more convenient.

Especially for those who have zero experience (foreigners and Mexicans not from Mexico City) with the metro system.

Idea 4: A Place for Dates

As a single man in Mexico City, I enjoy destroying the pussy walls of the local female population.

Ruin them with my 17 inch swinging cock….

21 inches actually when I’m pimping…

And then send the latinas back to their small dick hubbies “los mexicanitos” who will never be able to feel anything inside them again!

However, during my days of gringo insemination of the Mexican female population, I do notice that, at times, I encounter logistical issues.

One of which is finding where the fuck these chicks are when I start dates at the nearest metro station.

You see, in Mexico City, I find it most useful to start a date at the nearest metro station for various reasons.

Outside of my experience, you’ll commonly find locals waiting for people in the metro stations also for whatever reasons.

Perhaps to sell something to someone they messaged on Facebook Marketplace!

Or maybe a local who wants to smash pussy walls also!

Maybe a friend meeting a friend.

Whatever the occasion might be!

And while some metro stations make it easy to find someone because of how small they are…

Others serve to be more difficult.

For example, when I lived by El Centro some odd months ago, I started my first few dates by Bellas Artes Metro.

Soon enough, I realized that was a really dumb fucking idea because the metro is so big and has so many different openings.

In which, on the first date in that area, I walked into each of the openings into that metro station trying to find this fucking chick.

I realized quickly that it’s better to meet them in the park area right next to the metro station.

Similarly, I remember when I was hunting for apartments some odd months ago…

And I was checking out this one place near Metro Portales.

However, the lady who ran the place had her son meet me at a metro station away from Portales in which I’d travel with him to Portales and then to the apartment.

Sounds complicated but I prefer meeting people at metro stations and, because of the son’s schedule, it turned out better somehow to meet him at some other metro station first.

I think it was Ermita because I was coming from Metro CU area?

He ended up waiting for me at one particular area of the metro while I was waiting for him at another.

As I was standing around for maybe 30 minutes, some young guy walks up to me…

Checks his phone.

Looks at me.

Does that again for maybe another 5 times…

Before going “eres Matt?”

And the rest is history.

So, point being, it would be beneficial if Mexico City put a “place of interest” on the outside and inside of the larger metro stations.

Not necessary for a metro like Juanacatlan or CU.

But, for one like Bellas Artes, it’s necessary.

Doesn’t have to be much!

If we wanted to be fancy, could be a small fountain where couples toss coins into for good luck on their relationships.

If we want to be simple, it could be a small statue of Melinche giving head to Crisotbal Colon.

Whatever works for you!

Simply put, it’d simply be a “place of interest” that people would know where to find each other in both inside and outside the larger metros.

Now, I know some of you are thinking "why not meet at the ticket booth?"

Sometimes there are multiple ticket booths far away from each other if the metro is big enough!

With my idea, when you organize a meetup, we can all say “yeah, going to show me the apartment? Meet me at the place where Melinche is swallowing the sword.”

Would make meetups in the larger metro stations a little bit easier.

Idea 5: Jazz & Reggaeton Viejo

Some odd months ago, I got onto the train by Insurgentes Sur.

Not Insurgentes but Insurgentes Sur for those who confuse the two.

Anyway, when I sat down, I noticed something funny….

They had great music playing on the train!

If I remember right, it was something sung by Astrud Gilberto.

I think it was Girl from Ipanema as you can see here.

A classic.

My opinion is that they should play more often music on the metro trains.

Some of them are lacking in music at times.

My tastes call for a mix of jazz and reggaeton.

During the days and afternoons, it’ll be jazz.

Something simple and loving.

Like this other song by Astrud Gilberto here.

During the nights…

Especially on Friday or Saturday nights….

It can be reggaeton viejo.

And no, not the new reggaeton….

The older shit!

Something like this song here.

So when you and the boys are out to travel to some nightlife spot, you got Daddy Yankee talking about FUCKING BITCHES.

A good song to get us pumped for the night of finding a nice gal for smashing some pussy walls.

Still, regardless of what your musical tastes call for, I think we can all agree that any music really would be nice to play.

Just as long as it ain’t that banda shit.

Idea 6: A Section for Disabled & Old People?

Just today, I saw someone post on Facebook about how the “female only section” is sexist against men.

In part, I agree.

In other part, I understand why there is a demand for it.

Still, someone posted a picture of some disabled dude sitting in the female only section getting hostile glares from the women on the train.

I think we can all agree that helping out the disabled isn’t a bad idea!

So, in my thinking, maybe a separate car just for them?

Granted, the only thing that makes me push back against this is the fact that, whenever I do use the metro, I don’t see that many people who are disabled.

So do they really need an entire car to themselves?

For that reason, I might modify this to “disabled and old people.”

Granted, on that Facebook comment thing that I mentioned, people were saying “no, no! Disabled and old men can use the female only space too!”

Now, to be fair, I don’t know what the official rules on the books are but someone did post a screenshot of what is apparently the official policy for that female only car…

And it said only women and children.

So, assuming we don’t have anything for old men...

Outside of the seats they have on each car (which is not always enough sometimes)...

Why not give one car to the disabled and old only?

Which leads me to the next point….

Idea 7: Changing the Gender Cars

I have seen way too many times the case in which the train rolls on by in front of me as we all wait for it…

The first few cars are the female only section and it looks quite nice…

Plenty of space with some seating still available for women to sit down…

Very few, if any, of the women are standing up.

Then the mixed cars roll in and they are jammed pack.

People shoving each other to get in and out..

No seats left to sit down.

Most people standing up all squished in together with absolutely no space between each person.

And you know what is funny?

There’s always women in the fucking cars!

I don’t get that.

You all literally have your own fucking cars to use and, just 10 seconds ago, I saw plenty of space available!

Even seats available!

And yet you choose the mixed car when you are sitting alone with nobody else?

Why the fuck are you here?

Get the fuck out, bitch.

It’s not uncommon to see these hoes literally stealing space in cars that are so jam packed full of people.

The funny thing is that, since they can’t always get everyone waiting into the cars, you have some folks having to step back and wait however much time for the next train to roll by.

And these people have fucking jobs to go to!

Whatever else that is important.

So because your dumbass can’t figure out how to walk an extra 15 steps to get to the female only section, you are going to take up much needed space that someone who needs to get to somewhere important could’ve used.

Makes no sense.

Granted, if it’s not during rush hour, then it doesn’t matter so much.

You could still argue that, in a way, they might be inconveniencing people by taking up seats in the mixed section when seats were available in the female only one.

Which, in the world we live, can mean preventing an older from sitting down because all the seats for old people are already taken.

Granted, to be fair, it’s not uncommon to see someone else give up a seat but not always.

Regardless, here’s the changes I’m putting forward here.

We’re cutting the space allocated to women only in half or more during non-rush hour.

It makes no sense to give so much space to only women when, during plenty of times, women take up the mixed space seating alone without a partner…

Which is the usual excuse for why they are there…

Meanwhile, you got plenty of space in the female only section.

Even if cutting back on the female only section meant more women will have to stand up for the duration of their trip, then cool!

Equality, bitches.

Plus, they’re used to standing up anyhow – I’ve seen them stand up and bent over all the time in my shower.

So it’s seemingly no problem for them.

Anyhow, during rush hour, in all seriousness, I can maybe keep the amount of cars available for women only to stay the same.

But I'm not too sure....

During rush hours, I’ve seen plenty of enough space in those female only cars while the mixed cars are so packed that not everyone can get on.

Effectively, giving an extra car or so to the mixed crowd would help get more people to their destination on time while the female car would simply have to accept having more people standing up with slightly less space per person.

I value the former because of all the extra people involved and I don't really care if more women are slightly inconvenienced to having to stand up for the ride.

Especially when, given limited resources, we don’t have limitless amount of cars and you have literally hundreds of people fighting for a place on the mixed seats (again, some being women even when they have a female only section).

So that’s the plan – cut down on the space given to women only depending on the hour and also prohibit most women (with exceptions) from using the “mixed space” cars during rush hour at busy stations at the very least.

Idea 8: More Trains?

The issue has already been explained – you got hours in which you have way too many people trying to fit into the limited spaces of the cars.

Granted, we all know there are limited funds for everything I would want to do here.

Given everything I have and will mention in this article, if we had to prioritize where to give public funds, this would be closer to the top of the list.

More trains in service will mean less severe crowds, more comfortable travelers and more people getting to where they need to on time.

Idea 9: Defend Against the Feminists!

Just the other day, I happened to be by Insurgentes Metro.

I was stopping by because I enjoy walking around Reforma Avenue…

And also they have a Starbucks in the area that is in front of the Angel of Independence Statue that I quite like.

It makes for a good place to drink black tea and appreciate the views.

Anyway, it’s time for me to head back to my apartment.

I first get some flautas at a nearby restaurant before heading back to Insurgentes.

While there, I notice that there is nobody selling tickets on one side while the machines for charging your metro card are completing smashed.

Nobody can use them.

So, figuring I can’t buy a ticket (and without a card on person), I ask a few locals if I can give them the 5 pesos needed to cover my ass getting inside.


Then I walk to the other side of the metro and see that the ticket selling people are there.

For some reason, I guess they didn’t want to include any on the other side.

Anyway, I notice the machines on the other side are broken also.

Out of curiosity, I ask some random cop what happened to them as I walk through and he tells me that they got broken by some protesters.

Now, if I had to guess, the protesters were likely the feminists ones.

In Mexico City, it’s not uncommon for the feminists to get the most aggressive.

Which is funny because, being mostly women, you wouldn’t expect such high levels of testosterone and aggression!

Like you can see in this video here.

Anyway, it’s not uncommon for this part of the city (and El Centro area) to have feminists fucking shit up every once in a while.

It’s a topic that I plan to cover someday but I haven’t because it’ll be such a massive article and will require a bit of research on my end.

So, with time, I’ll get around to it!

Anyway, I’ve seen this enough times now where feminist protesters decide to fuck up a metro station for some reason.

It’s funny to think about – why the metro?

A place where the common person has to use to get to work or get home to spend time with the family.

This isn’t a place of immense patriarchy, you dumb cunts.

Most people who use the metro are not these upper class people…

They’re mostly poor or middle class folks who can’t afford a damn car.

Or they consist of a rare degenerate gringo like myself who thinks all day about creamping pussy and getting drunk.

I digress…

It’s ironic anyhow – feminists tend to be part of the left and often promote narratives that are supposed to be to the benefit of the poor and middle class.

Yet here we are fucking up a transportation system that these same people use to get around this massive city…

Just like those folks I mentioned before who couldn’t use the card machine on either side of Metro Insurgentes…

Thanks for fucking up their day a tiny bit!

And for what?

How does smashing a card machine at Insurgentes fix any of the problems you have?

In contrast to, let’s say, taking more direct action to reduce corruption and improve the judicial system for anytime a woman (or a man) needs a more effective court process to prosecute those guilty of sex crimes.

After all, isn’t that an issue that feminists talk about a lot?

Just an idea…

Not too sure smashing the card machine at Insurgentes is going to take you far there.

On the contrary, it just reinforces the narrative of you all being batshit insane and not doing any productive towards achieving your goals.

If we’re being honest, the smashing of the card machine (and other things irrelevant to feminist issues) is nothing more than you expressing your rage at something.

Like a stress ball.

Anyway, the idea here is to put in police to guard the more important metro stations where massive protests are scheduled.

Just to protect the infrastructure.

We don’t need them there all the time and it’s only for a very few metro stations where this is a concern.

Metro stations like Insurgentes, Zocalo, Bellas Artes, etc.

Idea 10: Replace the Ticket Ladies

Next, we have the ticket ladies that you give the 5 pesos to for a ticket.

Not too uncommon is it for them to have a bad attitude.

Just the other day, I put a 10 peso coin down, put a finger up to indicate the number 1 and said “solo 1.”

The lady didn’t look at me and threw 2 tickets down.

Then I repeated myself “no, solo 1.”

She seemed irritated, took the extra ticket back, put 5 pesos down and said “you should’ve said otherwise then” in Spanish.

I didn’t feel like arguing with her about how I did and how she is worthless piece of shit employee who probably has herpes warts all over her pussy and whose husband fucks her sister or something….

So, in the policy of being polite, I took the 5 pesos with the ticket and walked away.

Now, while most ticket ladies are normal, they often don’t have any personality to them.


So, in best case scenario, there’s no personality.

In worse case, there’s bitchy attitude.

I’m arguing for a minor change here – one not so important compared to others here – that could be simple to fix.

Simply hire people who put a smile on their face.

You know, hire people with that “fake American customer service” attitude where there is a constant smile and the worker seems genuinely interested in you.

Even if it is very superficial.

It would be quite nice, after all, if one of these ladies greeted me at such….

“hola papi, solo 1 o 2, Sr. Guapo?” she greets me.

“Ay mi amor, solo 1 hoy.” I respond.

“Ayyyyyy que interesante eres. Va, disfrute tu viaje rico, papi.” She replies seductively while twirling her hair and licking her lips with strong eye contact.

Ideally, these same ticket ladies would be wearing nothing but a bra and panties with big tits.

Preferably white, pink or red because of my refined tastes.

But, understandably, that might invite more feminist ire and we’d have to invoke a stronger police force to defend the metros at a tax payer expense.

So, to be fiscally conservative, they only need to greet me and others in a typical standard held by American customer service.

Smiles and all with a fake but seemingly genuine interest in my day.

Maybe they can even hold up some sign that has an inspirational quote as they wish me a good trip on the metro.

Something motivational that you’d only seen in a Chinese fortune cookie.

But, at the very least, a smile and personality.

Idea 11: Better TV Shows

Some of the metro stations have little TVs that you can see hanging from the wall.

Others don’t.

I’m going to encourage setting up TVs in the rest of the metros in those same spaces where you wait for the train.

But I’m also going to encourage better programming.

It’s always some lame ass song that nobody cares for.

Similar to inside the metro cars, if we had to do music, I’d encourage reggaeton viejo like this song here.

If not reggaeton though, I’m leaning towards something cool.

Personally, I’d prefer scenes of hot lesbians forking each other.

Or maybe a team of lesbians gangbanging a more petite gal into being a lesbian also.

Not that I’m into that…

Still, I get not everyone has my refined and classy tastes.

So other ideas might be necessary for TV programming.

For example, at a Mexican restaurant called Casa de Toño, they used to (and might still do) play scenes of people getting into funny accidents.

Like some guy riding his bike and then BOOM!

He falls off and hits his nuts on something hard.


So something like that which can entertain us all while we wait for the next train.

Idea 12: Better Lights

There is the rare metro station here and there in Mexico City that looks like it is the scene where a criminal is about to stab a bitch in the kidney before taking her purse.

Some horror type shit.

Back when I lived by Metro Juanacatlan, I’d often travel to Metro Cuatro Caminos to visit my girlfriend at the time before moving closer to that area soon enough.

In those trips, if I remember right, I think it was Metro Station Tacuba or Tacubaya where I felt such a scene by the area where you wait for the trains.

It might be better now since I haven’t been to either train station in a while (I think it was Tacuba anyhow).

Still, there’s been a rare few other metro stations like that.

To keep it simple, I’d say it’s necessary to add better lights to some parts of a few metro stations so they don’t look like part of a scene in Friday the 13th.

Idea 13: Escalators

Similarly, it was either Tacuba or Tacubaya where there would be this massive ass group of people walking up to some steps with an escalator to the side…

An escalator that, half the time, wouldn’t work.

This isn’t too uncommon either – finding an escalator in the metros that simply broke down for whatever reason and hasn’t been working for months now.

Similar to the lights, it sure seems like the government that runs Mexico City doesn’t give a fuck about keeping things up to date in the metros at times.

Here's a video showing a bit of that in Metro Mixcoac.

Idea 14: Tickets in Insurgentes Sur

Again – this is for Insurgentes Sur and not Insurgentes.

Every time that I have stopped by that area, they always have a person behind the counter that NEVER sells tickets.

Seems to be, from my limited experience in that specific metro, to be a “card only” metro.

Where, without a metro card, you’ll have to buy one for like 15 pesos or whatever.

Which isn’t much but annoying because I already have a card back home.

But, given most places don’t request a card, I never carry it.

Now, at times, other metro stations might get lazy and not have anyone on staff to hand out tickets and people have to rely on the card machines..

Like Buenavista one time and a few other spots.

There is a part of me that wonders if they are trying to phase out the use of tickets and only use cards in this city for the metro.

Which, in short, I think would be stupid but it doesn’t matter.

Still, it’s a small issue directed at specifically Insurgentes Sur and any metro station that does this also…

Sell tickets also you dumbfucks.

Why card only?

Idea 15: La Raza Model

In metro station La Raza…

You’ll find a stretch of space walking after you have used your ticket in which there are astronomy and biology related teachings on the wall on both sides.

Though I think the walking distance between where you use your ticket and where you wait for the train is a bit too much…

Still, there’s something cool to how they have all of these science related teachings on the walls.

In other metro stations, you might find similarly cool things.

For example, if I remember right, there’s some metro station (I think Zocalo) that has some cool archaeological items placed about for you to appreciate.

Though I’m not sure if it’s Zocalo but I think so – somewhere by the center.

In Copilco metro by where I live now, you have cool artwork on the walls in the area where you wait for the train.

In short, it’d be nice if more metro stations had more decorative work available to appreciate and give life to the place.

Idea 16: The Hustlers

In the trains, it’s very common to see someone selling whatever.

Could be headphones, candy, chips, etc.

Something cheap.

Anyway, as you can see in this video here, not everyone likes them.

Though I’m not 100% confident, I believe that they are technically, by the books, not allowed to sell on the trains?

But you always see them do as such anyhow.

Personally, I think the guy in the video is a bit of a cunt harassing the folks selling these items.

I’ve heard by some folks say that these items that they sell are “stolen.”

Not sure how true that is.

But definitely not everyone working for money is a thief.

You see the occasional begger who clearly is disadvantaged in life asking for money.

To someone doing some performance and asking for tips afterwards.

And regardless of if you appreciate those performances or not…

Look, these people are just doing what they can to earn money.

They don’t got any money.

Leave them the fuck alone.

Reminds me of this song here – let’s be a little bit humble for those who are working to get by, you know?

Everlast -- What It's Like

Anyhow, outside of letting them continue their work, I would try to make money from them.

As you can see here, there’s a cop asking for a bribe from them.

If I had to guess, that’s probably not uncommon.

So that’s what I’d do but I’d cut out the corrupt cop.

Instead, I’d have a system in place in which these people (if they are selling something), will have to pay to use the space for selling.

I have no idea what to charge but it’d be simple – 100 pesos?


I wouldn’t cut too deep into their profits because they ain’t got shit anyhow and doing what they can to survive…

But I would redirect the bribes they give to cops to instead be given to the broader metro system.

Which can, in theory, help pay for some of the costs of the metro.

For those who are not selling anything though?

Like a dude who is disadvantaged somehow (blind or whatever)…

Eh, let him beg for free.

Some might say that some are faking it but whatever.

Idea 17: More Cops Looking for Bad Guys

Having talked about cops, I’d probably put more out there though in the popular metro stations to look for thieves.

Like you can see in this video here, it’s not uncommon for thieves to take stuff from people during rush hour and all.

I wouldn’t really mess with putting cops up in say Metro CU on a non-busy hour for obvious reasons like not having too many people…

But, in other metro stations like Bellas Artes or Insurgentes, then sure.

Fun story – I remember seeing one of these little fuckers get caught by the police a few years ago in Insurgentes.

Was a very busy hour and some guy was resisting arrest.

They ended up getting a few cops on the guy and out he goes

So the cops do what they can with the resources they have…

I’d simply put more resources to that in the metro stations at the right hours needed.

Idea 18: Sexual Assault

Any time you ride the metro, you’ll see soon enough some poster saying something like “90% some percent of women have claimed to be sexually assaulted in the last year on public transportation.”

Or some statistic like that.

Now for a story…

Some odd months ago, I saw something posted on Facebook in which this chick talked about a case of sexual harassment on the metro..

I’m sure I’ve written about it before on this website but the details are fuzzy in my head.

Still, from what I remember, she basically was sitting alone in the metro when this random dude across from her was jerking off with his dick visible.

Anyway, she took some pictures of him…

And, soon after, she had the police take the guy in at the spot.

Now, according to her, the police recommended to her that she don't pursue anything legally against the guy because of how difficult and lengthy the process will be to bring anything against him that’ll stick.

But then the police said that they’ll take him away to a certain location to beat the shit out of him.

She accepted that and that was it.

Now, having said that, I don’t know if that is a typical case of sexual harassment or assault in Mexico City metro.

You hear other stories online of random chicks facing similar things and no justice being brought forward.

And, in this case, this chick had photos!

So it would seem like a slam dunk.

But it wasn’t.

So, if we are to improve the experience here, I’d recommend finding out why it’s so difficult supposedly to bring charges against those who cross that line.

Now I hear you – “But Matt, why cut the amount of spaces for female only passengers when this is an issue?!”

Look, I’m not against having female only spaces.

But I already explained why I feel it is necessary to cut back on the spaces available…

Being that I believe in the ability of more women to be strong and independent enough to stand up for the duration of their trip in the female only cars if the seats happen to be taken.

Plus, during rush hour, there is obviously a much stronger demand on the mixed cars over the female only ones (despite annoyingly single women occupying spaces in the mixed ones during those times also).

Anyway, regardless of our difference on that, I agree that something needs to be done on the sexual assault issue.

I have no idea how you fix it though outside of bringing changes to the criminal justice system to make it easier to bring charges against those who cross a line.

Here's a video anyway on the topic showing an example of one of these folks who sexually harass people.

But there is one other idea that comes to mind….

Idea 19: New Technology Changes

Here's three ideas to help people notify authorities when this happens -- metro card changes, cameras and alarm systems in each train.

While I’m obviously for having an option of using a ticket instead of your card to use the metro…

I can see how, with time, the metro cards can be a weapon against sexual harassment (assuming we make any needed changes to the criminal justice system).

The idea is simple – implement a change in which all future metro cards, by some point, have to have a name to them.

So you buy a card for the metro and it says “Julio Rodriguez” with a face to it.

Now, mixed in with having more functioning cameras in place in the trains...

Then maybe we can more easily identify people who are exposing themselves or touching women on the public transportation system.

ID Metro Cards and more cameras with any changes needed to the criminal justice system.

Basically, making it easier for women to identify anyone who crossed the line and pursue them afterwards.

So maybe a chick claims that some dude was grabbing her ass or tits…

She can bring the complaint forward.

They look at the cameras for when she was on that train at whatever hour and identify the guy they see on camera doing it.

Or someone masturbating perhaps.

You get the idea.

Still, doing this would obviously require a lot more manpower in hiring public servants and all.

Especially when it comes to tracking down the guys afterwards.

Though, if we had some folks watching the cameras in real time, then some of them can be taken in when they leave the train.

Making it easier to charge him?

Obviously, as a side point, implementing this system wouldn’t be perfect.

You’d have criminals (organized ones out to steal stuff) probably using cards that have different IDs on them or just use tickets. 

Still, I imagine that making this change to the card system (with cameras included) would make it easier to identify folks.

The only other change I can think of would be maybe to have some alarm system on each train so that any woman can touch the button to notify if some dude is jerking off in front of her or whatever.

Sure, in trains with few people, a chick might be more intimidated to do that but I feel that wouldn't be as much of an issue if there's lots of people in the train that might defend her.

None of these being silver bullets anyway to a big issue but I'm sure would help.

Idea 20: Safety Issues

Some odd months ago, part of the metro collapsed in Mexico City as you can see here.

I’m definitely not an expert on how to address inadequacies of the metro system when it comes to safety and all.

But I found this video here that exposes more cracks in the system when it comes to safety.

And I’ll leave it at that – something to be addressed obviously.

Idea 21: Wifi?

In my time in Mexico City, I have seen the occasional public place say that there is “wifi” in the area.

Personally, I rarely ever try to see how good it is.

Still, though I could be mistaken, I believe they have some of this working in some of the metro stations also?

In my first year in Mexico City, I remember trying some “free wifi” and I believe it was in some metro or near one anyhow.

Was it good?


So all I will say is that, if Mexico City doesn’t have good free public wifi available in its metro stations, it should.

Especially for those of us who don’t have data on our phones and are waiting for someone in the metro.

In my very limited experience with this topic of wifi in public spaces, it seems like a minor thing that could be improved.

Idea 22: Saving the Disabled Once Again!

Some years ago, I was looking for an apartment in different points of Mexico City with an ex-girlfriend of mine who lived by Cuatro Caminos.

Anyway, I spotted one place online that was somewhere near the northern part of the city.

If I remember right, I believe it was located outside of Misterios Metro Station but I could be wrong.

But I think it was Misterios.

Anyhow, that area in general from what I remember was a bit of a dump outside.

Before walking outside of the metro anyhow, I remember there being this huge line of steps going upwards.

And there was this old lady in a wheelchair who obviously couldn’t make it up the stairs because they had nothing for people in wheelchairs.

So I helped carry her wheelchair up the stairs with some random stranger so that she can leave the metro.

Fucking ridiculous, really.

Nothing for people with wheelchairs or any physical disability really?

What – they didn’t have physically disabled people when they made this metro station?

Anyway, that’s a side point – you do find that Latin America as a whole is less forgiving for physically disabled people.

Though, as you can guess, it largely depends on how developed the area is economically.

In the grand scheme of things, Mexico City isn’t actually that bad compared to a good deal of Latin America from what I have noticed on this issue.

But it is something that can be improved.

At the very least, I’d include more help for the physically disabled.

Whatever infrastructure needed to make it easier for folks in any metro station to move around.

Some metro stations, like Bellas Artes, I think are not that bad on this issue.

Granted, Bellas Artes obviously has a lot more people going through it than Misterios without question.

But you get the idea – let’s do a little bit for those in wheelchairs and all so they don’t have to wait some odd minutes for random strangers to help carry them up a large set of stairs.

“Ay dios, necesito subir esas escalaras para visitar mi hija en el hospital. Alugien me ayuda?!?!”

“Vete a la verga, vieja!!! Súbelas tu misma!” responden los vatos.

Idea 23: The Metro Isn’t Only for Poor People!

Back to improving the metro for the single guy…

I remember one time how a friend of mine told me that some Mexican chick gave him grief about using the metro to visit him.

In response, I asked what type of Fresa Level was this hoe to not want to use the metro!?

Like seriously – how the fuck do you get around the city then?

It is massive!!!

Anyhow, I remember remarking that to a group of foreigners in a chat for foreigners who live in Latin America…

And a Canadian guy in the chat recalled how he had similar experiences with chicks having reservations about using the metro to get around.

I honestly don’t get it – I can’t remember the last time I met a chick who refused to take the metro to visit me.

Granted, some take UBER or drive their own cars and I never asked why they didn’t use the metro instead.

But, though it might have happened once, I can’t remember as of right now any woman who complained about using the metro.

Maybe it has happened once but I just can’t think of any example.

Usually, if I need to meet a chick, it’s always by metro anyhow in which the date starts there and then goes somewhere else.

If need be, I take back them into the metro to travel with me to some place.

Never ask them “so you down for the metro?”

We just go.

So, when I first heard some chicks don’t use the metro by that friend, it blew my mind.

Granted, I’m not the richest gringo on the block and I don’t hang out with folks who have lots of money to be honest.

Not usually – I got like two friends who have decent money down here.

But I usually don’t hang out with people who are more “well to do” in Mexico City.

So that might effect things – I always thought this was some fresa type shit.

But I could be wrong!

Maybe it’s not just them with the reservations – you do have those concerns about sexual assault in the metro also.

Still, from my recollection, I just don’t remember any chick complaining to me about it right now.

So, if I could make changes, I guess I would have some government social media campaign to encourage people (targeted audience being women) to use the metro more!

Feel safe using it!

With some message about how “metro is GREEN, save the planet!”

Because, you know, less people driving cars versus using the metro.

Less pollution.

But really we don’t give a fuck about the planet here.

It’s only a campaign to encourage those seemingly rare (in my experience anyhow) women who don’t like using the metro.

That way the single guy will have less hesitation from girls to using the metro.

“Vamos Amor!!!! Usamos el metro porque es muy VERDEEEE! No quieres destruir la Tierra, no?!!?”

“Ya cállate cabron. Q tipo de maricon eres si no tienes un coche?!” la princesita fresita de Polanco responde….

Idea 24: English Products

As we all know, plenty of Latinos love the idea of learning English.

Even if it is completely irrelevant to their life trajectory and career goals, many of them still feel like learning English will advance their station in life.

Therefore, I have an idea on how to raise revenue for the metro beyond the use of public tax money….

Why don’t we create a weekly or monthly pamphlet or newspaper that can be sold at the metro stations for a profit?

The pamphlet or newspaper would feature the LATEST and GREATEST tips on learning English!

With whatever the hell you’d put into it to make the product interesting to the people who buy it.

Have people buy it by where they put their tickets in to get inside the metro.

Anyone passing by it will see someone advertising it.

And, in theory, it might raise a small profit to give money to the metro management system to help run the place.

Plus, for the single gringo who is new to Latin America with no Spanish, this might be helpful as we continue to colonize the language preferences of the locals by teaching them our languages instead!

Then more local women will better understand the exotic foreigner with no Spanish skills and have sex with them more easily…

Procreating with foreigners and influencing both the future demographics and language preferences of future generations….

We gringos are taking over…

One newspaper and one non-Spanish speaking gringo at a time!

Hahahaha jajajaja hahaha jajaja (kkkkkkk for the Brazilians) hahahahah jajajaaja haha jajaj

Idea 25: Advertise Local Businesses

Have you ever been to a new part of Mexico City and wondered….

“Where the fuck can I buy X?!?!”

I have all the time!

Whenever moving to a new part of the city…

Which is basically every 5 months or so…

I always wonder about where I can find the best local gyms, a good haircut, finding a new apartment to rent and whatever else.

Sometimes Google resolves that.

Other times it doesn’t.

So let’s make it easier for local businesses to advertise their services!

They already do, to a degree, as you can see some posters on the trains advertising whatever.

Though, in many cases, they can sometimes be more lucrative businesses that already get clients.

I’m thinking of the little guy here.

Have those little TVs set up inside each train car that you rarely see in some train cars here and there….

And, instead of just playing music like suggested before, throw out some more advertisements!

Now, the advertisements will need to be well placed on the TVs so that they correspond to the area you are going to.

For example, the metro TV screen might say that you are going to Buenavista.

So, as you head to Buenavista, the TV screen shows advertisements for local businesses that you’ll find more or less around that area.

And as you leave and walk through Buenavista metro, you’ll see more posters placed on the walls advertising local businesses you’ll find in the area with their address and Whatsapp included.

As I said, you do see some advertisements here and there but I think we can improve this by a bit.

Idea 26: Littering

Just the other day, I saw some post on Facebook about how you have people who throw shit into the spot where the metro train runs through in each metro.

Like some guy who has a bag of chips that he finishes while waiting for the metro and he decides to throw the bag into that spot where the train will pass by.

At times, the things thrown down can be worse than a plastic bag.

In either case, it can, from what I read, fuck up the operation of the train however it does.

Now, in my time living in Latin America, I’ve often noticed that plenty of cities down here seem terrible at having spots available to throw trash away.

You know – public trash cans and all.

Might be part of the explanation for why, as I wrote here, you got more littering in some spots more than others in Latin America.

Still, Mexico City isn’t the worst I’ve seen in Latin America when it comes to this but it can be improved.

And I get it – you are too lazy to carry it with you so you dump it somewhere.

So what I’m saying is to give people more spots to dump their trash as they wait for the train in the metro.

Maybe have some trash bins that are bolted to the ground in that spot where you wait for the train…

Got some trash?

Throw it there!

And I say bolted because I can imagine some random drunk people stealing one of them on a Friday night…

As well, to be fair, it wouldn’t solve the issue entirely – you’d still get some folks who, for whatever dumbass reason, decide to throw shit down like that.

Fucking up the train.

Anyway, I think more available spots to dump trash would help at least a little bit here.

Also, in theory, it could help poor people who dig into the trash for plastic bottles that they can return for a few pesos like you see outside sometimes.

Here’s a video on this issue here anyhow.

Idea 27: Metro Strip Stops

Look, every single guy in Mexico City has been there…

You are standing in some metro of Mexico City waiting for a chick to stop by…

And, in typical Latina fashion, she shows up late!

Years ago, I met some random chick in Metro Coyoacan and she showed up 40 minutes late!

I was very close to leaving but I figured it must be typical Latina time and I got distracted flipping a 10 peso coin in my hand over and over again until she got there.

In her defense, she was coming from outside of Mexico City -- Estado area.

Anyway, it gets boring, you know?

Waiting for someone…

So, in all seriousness, why don’t we have some local entertainment options for those waiting in the metro for someone to meet up with?

My preference would be a strip club in the most popular metro stations.

Not necessarily all of them – though that would be nice.

But I get public funds are limited – so I’ll be humble and only ask for them in the most popular metro stations.

It wouldn’t be much of a real strip club though – just a small room where there is a chick dancing around.

And so while you are waiting for Maria to show up, you can appreciate the big tits that Alejandra has!

And think to yourself…

“Shit….I need to hit the gym. Then I can move on up from girls like Maria and have a chance for those like Alejandra!”

At any rate, it’s a serious proposition!

Doesn’t have to be strip clubs necessarily but that’d be my preference.

After all, who doesn’t like to appreciate a big set of tits while waiting for someone at the metro?

Not much else to do!

Might as well invoke the tits!

Still, I get the moral crusaders and unfuckable feminists of herpes wart infested vaginas might protest such an idea…

So you can offer alternative (and less enjoyable) forms of entertainment for those waiting in the metro.

As a less morally corruptible idea, I’d suggest maybe those slot machines?

Here and there, you do see slot machines of different types in various parts of the city.

When I lived by Roma Norte in a previous apartment, a restaurant across the street had one outside…

When I lived by Metro CU, there was a little store that had like 5 of these things outside that young men would play while smoking pot on weekend nights.

So this could be a reasonable compromise for those of us waiting for a chick or anyone to show up at the metro.

Though I prefer the stripclubs full of Alejandras that have BIG TITS….

I’m willing to compromise.

Idea 28: More Black Tea & More

For those who read my blog enough, it’s no surprise that I like black tea.

Black ice tea.

Has to be cold.

Anyway, I find black ice tea (with no sugar) seemingly difficult to find outside the US at times.

Mexico included.

It’s not impossible – the supermarkets have it always.

Though, in Mexico, black tea seems to be less common than other types of tea but I digress.

Anyway, as an avid black tea lover, I’m going to suggest that every metro has a little store of black tea available on sell.

Funded by the Mexican taxpayer.

Not me of course – being a gringo without residency, I don’t pay taxes.

So suck it, Mexican taxpayer.

Anyway, it’s a real suggestion – if you could make getting black tea easier, that’d be awesome.

Just for me to be honest – sure seems like most Mexicans don’t drink it.

Idea 29: Corruption

Now, as we already discussed, there is local corruption with cops demanding bribes from those selling shit and all as we saw already.

However, there is larger scale corruption that seemingly fucks over the managing of the metro system in Mexico City.

To the surprise of nobody.

As you can read here, corruption was part of the problem that came with the collapse of that metro space some odd months ago that has already been discussed.

Honestly, I have no idea how you address larger scale corruption of that nature.

Outside of forming a dicatorship and throwing the corrupt folks into the ocean.

So I’m simply going to mention it here as an obvious point that needs to be addressed and leave it at that.

Idea 30: Expand

Finally, another obvious point is to expand the metro line system.

You know about that metro line mentioned before several times in which there was a collapse?

That line was actually meant to bring people from poorer areas of the city into other regions so that they had better public transportation available to better paying jobs.

Now, as you can see here, Mexico City is seemingly improving in this regard as they recently made some cable transport to poor areas nearby.

Similarly, there’s always other areas of Mexico City where public transportation – perhaps with the metro – could be improved.

In my thinking about this, the obvious choice would be anywhere into Tlalpan area.

Or more metro spots into Milpa Alta.

As I wrote here, I always thought there could be another metro station put up by around Insurgentes Sur Avenue.

At least the parts closest to me.

And really, from what I have observed, parts more to the west of that.

Also, why not some more metro stops that go to Santa Fe area? That'd be cool!

At least that is what comes to mind but obviously there’s more to be said as to which parts of the city would benefit best from an expansion of the metro.

Assumingly, of course, that they actually expand it properly so there’s no fuck ups in the construction like we saw in that video here.

Idea 31: Preventing Suicide

Next, we have the issue of people committing suicide in the metro.

Now, obviously putting more money into mental health services and suicide prevention services would be pretty helpful here.

In my time living in Mexico City, I've seen at least 2 people who seemingly looked like they were going to jump and were making a scene among everyone watching.

Meanwhile, I've had cases where the metro station of a nearby area would be closed temporarily because of someone jumping in front of the train.

Honestly, I'm not sure how frequently this happens but it does happen.

Live her long enough using the metro and you'll probably notice it at least once.

Here's a video of a woman committing suicide in the metro of CDMX also.

Anyway, outside of more funding for mental health and suicide prevention, what else can we do here?

Well, I was thinking of how other countries try to make it harder for people to commit suicide in the metro...

I remember reading once that Japan did something so I looked it up.

Putting up a barrier basically between the people and the incoming train.

Could we follow their example?

Sure -- just an idea anyway.

Final Thoughts

Anyway, this article is much longer than I expected it to be.

Regardless, these are all just shoot from the hip ideas.

Ramblings from a random gringo on the internet.

If you have any ideas or response to anything said in this article above, then say something below in the comment section.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,


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