I’m trying.
But I can’t go on.
This is the end of my life.
Laying in my bed.
I feel so dead.
Wishing for one more chica to give me head.
But I got no more energy left to shed.
With death I am wed.
For COVID has knocked on my doors like the feds.
Am I dead?
A Day of Coughing
Actually, I’m alright.
But lots of heavy coughing today.
Lots of it.
Well, not an excessive amount but I am coughing a bit every hour.
But I do wonder if I have finally caught the infamous COVID.
Which variant did I get now, you may ask?
Who knows!
I sure hope I didn’t get one with one of those faggot strain names though, you know?
All these strains have come with names – Delta, Alpha, etc.
But only one word names!
Alpha or Delta or whatever else.
You see, I don’t want that.
If I have been struck, it better have some cool frat name with it.
Something like Sigma Chi.
That way I can go back to the US and demand free liquor every weekend because I have the Sigma chi forever engrained into my genetics.
I have lived with the Sigma Chi.
Become it.
For the suffering I have endured from Sigma Chi, I better get the sloppiest head from the biggest alcoholic sorority gals with daddy issues every weekend!
Free vodka included por favoooor.
Still, I’ve been coughing.
And, over the last year, I have had incidents that made me wonder “is this COVID?”
Just out of curiosity – how is this going to go down?
Well, hopefully not bad, you know?
I have a friend from Indianapolis who, months ago, went to the hospital for COVID shit and walked out with over 70,000 in debt or some crazy number.
Granted, I’d hope Mexico would be more generous on the bill if it came to that…
After all, part of the package deal that comes with living in Mexico is how CHEAP IT IS.
HAVE YOU HEARD YET HOW CHEAP IT IS DOWN HERE ALREADY?!?!
NO!?!?!
IT’S SUPER CHEAP!!!
EVEN THE HOOKERS SUCK MY DICK FOR ONLY 5 DOLLAS!!!
Still, joking aside, I sure hope the bill would be cheap.
That is a large part of the selling point for why folks live in Mexico now, don’t you know.
Would be a shame if the selling point was all bogus at the time of need.
Hell, I’ll even take one of those “cheaper” doctors.
Someone who barely finished grade school that somehow got working in a public hospital.
A doc to walk in with a half empty tequila bottle in hand and heroin needles still sticking out of his arms with his pants around his knees exposing his herpes wart infested cock.
“ehhhh hola amigo, k onda? Necesitas ayuda? Soy el DOCTOR!”
Meanwhile, like in this video of a Mexican hospital here, he’s making his way towards me walking slowly through the water.
I’ll take it!
As long as it’s cheap.
I’m not here for those expensive 100 dollar doctors.
Give me help for 5 dollas, doc!
If I still turn out OK but the recovery takes longer, it’ll be OK.
Just as long as the hospital room has a functioning TV to show me Spanish dubbed TV reruns of Pawn Stars like you can see here.
At that point, the only issue you might have is the doc trying to gringo price you.
“Ya se ya se gringo…..se cuesta 100 pesos por el servicio normalmente pero eres un güero……200 pesos o vas a morir….JAJAHAHAJAJAHAHAJAJAHAHA.”
Anyway….
So COVID or No? Cut the Bullshit, Matthew
Alright, alright…
I’ve been coughing like I said.
All today so far.
Most of it anyhow.
Nothing too excessive but more noticeable than ever before really.
Every hour a bit of coughing.
If I got COVID now, that’d be a surprise assuming I never had it before.
Granted, some folks do get it twice or more from what I’ve heard.
But given all of the hooking up I’ve done in the last year…
The friends I’ve hung out all this year…
And the fact that, being honest, I almost never wear a mask outside unless forced to in order to enter a restaurant or something…
Well, you would’ve thought that I would have gotten it already?
Back when all of this COVID stuff started, I did notice some symptoms of it back when I lived in Pachuca de Soto in Mexico right before I moved back to Mexico City.
That was right as the COVID thing was just about to be taken seriously in Mexico.
As you can read more about in this article I wrote here.
Back then, I had a fever and some other symptoms but nothing serious.
Now?
Still not too serious.
Mostly just coughing every hour.
In all honesty, there’s really two annoyances with this one.
For one, there’s always that suspense, you know?
Granted, I’m not scared – I’m a high T alpha male who destroys pussy walls so bad, don’t you know?
I PROMISE.
Still, there is the curiosity – will this thing progress really badly?
Will I end up waking up tomorrow not being able to breath?
Crawling to the security guard downstairs whimpering…
“Call the ambulance…call the ambulance….the Chinese have got me…they got me….I’M INFECTED WITH COVID….may it be known my last words being Epstein didn’t ki – hjfkjskldj666ajhdfkljs”
“DIOS MIO…..COVID!!!!” the security guard yells.
Still, I’ll assume that I’ll be alright.
If I turn out needing to go to the hospital, I’ll make sure to upload a dick pic as my last article as a way to leave my mark on this world.
Kinda like a last minute trolling before I descend into the arms of Prophet Mohammed, you know?
Waiting for these 72 virgins or whatever the number is.
Anyway, the other concern I’ve had this last day is not being able to sing properly.
I got some liquor in me.
A night of writing articles.
And singing along to songs like this one.
I can still sing but with some coughing every few minutes.
At any rate, that’s all.
Just a small update – I might have COVID because of all of the coughing.
But who knows.
All I can say is….
Cheers!
Lift your vodka bottles up and let’s sing that song together.
My last karaoke ever?
Hopefully not.
We high T alpha males don’t die – we live forever.
But that’s all – I’m sure this annoying cough will go away and life will go on.
Update
I wasn't going to publish this article because I wrote it drunkingly and thought after I woke up that "this is a little bitch article." After all, only a cough?
Anyhow, I decided to publish it because the heavy cough has been persistent until yesterday (July 9th to July 15th). Outside of the cough, nothing bad healthwise.
Hell, this Mexican chick I had been hooking up with had demanded to see me yesterday and wanted to spend the night. She even noticed how bad the cough was.
Still, as of right now, I feel mostly OK. The cough isn't as bad.
So, uh, if it was COVID -- then screw you COVID! You little bitch ass couldn't bring my alpha genetics down.
Enjoy this music anyhow that I'm listening to right now.
