All you need to know about Iberian America

“I Can Hook Us Up Bro”

Published April 1, 2021 in Personal Stories & Opinions - 0 Comments

There are days where I need to stop doing dumb shit.

Can I resist?

Sure seems not.

But I’ll be the first one to admit that half the time I don’t really care too much if dumb shit happens or not as long as I don’t get killed.

And a good deal of my time in Latin America these days as I write this is of boredom.

Without too much shit to do.

A fun day for me nowadays is getting some random chick from Tinder to suck my dick.

Then proceeding to write a few articles or so for some random website I own – whichever it might be.

Then playing Facebook UNO.

Actually, that doesn’t sound too exciting because a good deal of the week looks exactly like all of that above.

I’ve considered maybe doing more crazy or fun shit in recent days because most of my days look kinda the same.

And maybe I should change it up more.

Especially as I am still relatively young.

So today I decided to make friends with some random homeless person.

Similar to this article I wrote here where some random homeless person in Mexico decided to befriend me and tell me his story of running from Tepito.

And it just happened.

Changing Up The Day

So I woke up today at probably about 1 or 2 PM since I went to bed at about 7 AM after working all night.

From there, I took a shower, had some chilaquiles con pollo for lunch and decided to get an early start to work today.

It’s basically just chips and chicken mixed together in some sauce and cheese.

Anyway, after I got work done, I figured I might as well watch a movie.

This one here below to be specific.

Then some music like this song here.

Finally, I got hungry again.

So I got up to get some dinner.

It was about 11:30 PM more or less by the time I got outside.

I had to hurry.

Because, last I checked, the stores nearby stop selling liquor at around midnight because of some dumbass law.

So walking about 5 minutes from my apartment, I stop quickly by some taco place and asked for 5 small tacos de pastor.

I would’ve asked for more but the amount of drinking I will do tonight is already going to give me enough calories.

Anyway, I told the taco guy I’ll be back real quick and I quickly hunt for some liquor.

There’s one 7-11 around the corner that I check out and they don’t have the bottles of oso negro that I prefer.

For those who don’t know, Oso Negro is the cheapest vodka you can get in Mexico for about 109 pesos.

And they don’t have any left.

So I walk to the next 7-11 that is basically on the next street.

They also are out of stalk.

God damn it.

So I walk over to a third 7-11 that is close enough about a few minutes away.

They also don’t have any left.

Now I’m getting annoyed because I want to drink tonight.

But wasn’t thinking I’d need more than a 110 pesos for liquor since they always have oso negro.

And I don’t have time to walk back home and get another 100 pesos (5 bucks) before midnight strikes.

Walking back towards the direction of the taco place, I figured I might as well check by the OXXO that is along the way back.

I ask if they have any Oso Negro knowing that obviously they don’t have it since they never do.

“OK, what is the cheapest liquor you got?”

And it was some vodka thing that was like 230 pesos more or less.

And, while in hindsight, I should’ve brought with me another 100 pesos, I didn’t think I’d need to.

Since they always have oso negro.

But while the OXXO worker through the window crushes my hopes and dreams for a fun night…

This random homeless dude is standing next to me and gets my attention.

He is holding a little bag that has some gum in it that I imagine he probably sells for like 2 pesos a piece or whatever.

Funny enough, the dude sees a good opportunity to make both of us happy.

“I Got You Bro”

Obviously, most people would be hesitant to talk with some random dude on the street at midnight.

But this guy was a bit short and chubby.

So he didn’t seem threatening.

He seemed chill too.

He starts off “I’m not here to rob you. I need something to drink also. I can get you something. Real quick near here. Don’t worry, I ain’t going to rob you.”

And given I only had like a hundred pesos on me, I wasn’t worried he would anyway since it ain’t like he can steal shit from me anyway.

But I’m thinking he is probably full of shit right away just trying to get 5 pesos or something.

For a second, I thought about just handing him 5 pesos because he seemed like a young dude desperate for money putting on a strong speech about how he can get me some cheap liquor.

And so while I was brushing him off at first…

I decided to listen to him as it clicked in my head that I don’t got anything else going on right now.

And I only got a 100 pesos and this dude doesn’t seem like a threat.

So I thought “fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen?”

So I tell the dude “sure, what’s you talking about?”

And he goes on about how he is an alcoholic and needs a drink also.

That he can get both of us some cheap ass liquor if I give him some pesos to go get it.

“OK, cuanto?” I ask him.

And he says he needs 50 pesos.

Thinking he is either going to take the whole 50 and run off or is factoring in a “delivery” service into that 50 peso fee…

I respond “I only got 40.”

Now I had a hundred but it was divided into 5 20 pesos notes.

So fuck it – if he steals 2 bucks from me or about 40 pesos….

Eh, well whatever.

But I was going to follow him anyway.

Anyway, I get my tacos right down the street and then go from there.

I hand him the 40 as he accepts it.

And we go off to some nearby OXXO that was close to the one we were already at.

Where I guess they had cheaper liquor.

The worker opens up the window and sees me standing with this dude and has a weird look on his face.

“El gringo y el callejero son amigos?”

He asks for some shit called Tonayan.

How much did the store clerk ask for to buy it?

36 pesos.

I didn’t ask for the extra 4 pesos – it’s only like 20 cents and I figured I might as well let him have it since he knew which nearby store to go to for cheap ass liquor.

And, as I write this article, I looked into “Tonayan” and it is apparently the “cheapest liquor of Mexico.”

Keep in mind that this is a full amount of 960 mL we bought of liquor for only 36 pesos or like less than 2 bucks.

Granted, the liquor content is only 24% so it is weak ass shit.

But still – good price.

Best I could get given the circumstances with the fact I neglected to bring an extra 100 pesos with me.

Tonayan Taste Review

How was it?

It tasted like shit.

But it was fine overall.

Here’s an article on “Tonayan” that I just read that has some cool information about it if you happen to read in Spanish.

And here’s a picture of it below that I still have of it.

Would I buy it again?


I prefer vodka, brandy or whiskey.

Anyway, the guy kept up with his word.

He actually didn’t steal the money or nothing.

He also happened to have some small container that you would put water in and bottle it up or some shit.

So, since he showed me where to get some cheaper liquor real quick with time running out, I gave him maybe 100 mL of the stuff into the bottle.

Funny enough, despite the article above saying how it is “very popular in Mexico,” I never seen this thing before.

Never seen it in super markets or shit.

Anyway, we both had a taste of it before I poured some for him into his bottle thing.

And that was it.

Did I make a friend?


Well, I only know his name is “Esteban” or something like that.

We talked a tiny bit of maybe 20 minutes more or less.

Not really sure how long but just a basic conversation until I realized my tacos in my backpack were getting cold and that I needed to head back.

The dude himself probably headed back to the group of homeless folks that camp out by where the tacos were.

Since there’s always a group of homeless folks over there.

And that was it.

The Lesson

Well, the story itself isn’t that exciting I guess.

But, like I said, most of my days in the last few weeks have been pretty boring and repetitive.

And I didn’t have much money on me.

I get why not everyone would walk along with some random homeless dude at midnight to some unknown location.

But, being in a touristy area of the city, I figured we were safe enough since cops are everywhere in these parts.

Plus it wasn’t like he could rob much if he tried to.

Well, he’d have needed a friend maybe or a knife to do so.

Funny enough, some homeless due did try to mug me with a knife not too long ago as you can read here.

But it wasn’t the same guy obviously.

But that’s all there is to the story.

The lesson?

Well, uhhh…

Break out of your comfort zone!

Go on an adventure looking for cheap liquor with some guy named Esteban in CDMX if you get the chance.

It turned out alright for me.

Hopefully it works out for you.

Never met a bad Esteban in my life.

They cool folk.

Anyway, follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,


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