All you need to know about Iberian America

The Gringo Super Star Treatment of Latin America

Every so often, you will notice that being a gringo in Latin America can have its advantages…

One of those advantages is sometimes (not often) getting treated quite damn nicely by people you hardly even know.

Where it be you are invited to clubs, random chicks writing you up or whatever else.

Today we will briefly look at two examples to illustrate what I am by this.

Some might call it feeling like a gringo super star…

Others, like myself, feel it’s more like being a gringo trophy to some local who has a thing for befriending or having sex with a foreigner.

So let’s briefly discuss what I am talking about with some examples so you get what I am saying.

Going to the Club in Polanco

About two years ago, I was living in a small room in a building in La Roma neighborhood of Mexico City.

It was basically just a small room with a shared bathroom and shared kitchen with maybe around 10 or so more people living in this building.

During my time there, I met some cool people – mostly younger Mexicans or occasionally other foreigners as well.

However, my neighbor next door mostly kept to himself from what I remember.

He was a young Mexican guy probably around 25 or 26 years old.

Either way, I remember one night in particular…

I got my shoes on and was going to walk to the near Oxxo (a store) to buy some beer and maybe a bag of M&Ms or something.

And when I step outside my room, the neighbor mentioned above stepped out of his room also.

I forgot his name but let’s called Armando.

In the handful of months he had been my neighbor, I don’t think we ever said a word to each other.

So I figured to say “buenas noches!”

And that started the conversation…

“Buenas noches” he said.

Then he asks….

“De donde eres?”

Which means “where are you from?”

In hindsight, I think the guy might have noticed my accent or something and realized I was a foreigner.

So I responded and told him that I am from the US.

Now I usually tell people down here that I am from Chicago.

Even though I am not, it’s one of the closest major cities to where I am from originally.

And I usually do it because, in my experience, nobody knows the state I am from.

Most don’t anyway aside from those who have been to the US obviously.

Because one thing you will notice is that a lot of local folks down here – not all but many – only think of the US as consisting of LA, Miami, Chicago and NYC.

The vast space between those cities?

Doesn’t exist.

Either way, I remember this guys face lights up a bit when I told him I was from the US.

I could tell right away by his reaction that he had a particular interest in that fact for whatever reason.

And over the rest of the conversation…

Which probably lasted 2 or 3 minutes more…

He invites me to come along with his friends to celebrate his birthday that very same night.

Well, that’s nice.

Even though, like I said, I didn’t know this guy at all and never spoke with him before.

But I didn’t have anything else going on that night and figured this could be fun.

Anyway, he’s leaving in the next hour so that’s when I have to be ready.

So I grab my M&Ms anyway and enjoy them before the trip to some bar or wherever we are going.

I get on a nicer shirt of mine and make sure I look good in case we go to some fancier place in Polanco or whatever.

And then get on a nearby bus that drove past our apartment building to a spot closer to a pizza bar place called Perro Negro.

Which, by the way, has great pizza and nice rock music for those interested.

Definitely recommended.

Either way, we go there with some of his friends.

A cute petite Mexican girl who was an aspiring lawyer with a date she brought. Some white Mexican guy that dressed a certain way that made me think he was Texas.

But he was from some border town originally up north so maybe that explains it.

Among some other folks…

Now right away this guy starts introducing me to everyone in a very friendly way.

Emphasizing the words “es de ESTADOS UNIDOS.”

For some reason, I got the impression that he was really emphasizing the words “ESTADOS UNIDOS” a bit strongly.

Which, by the way, means “he is from the US.”

But I didn’t think much of it…

Later that hour, the guy ends up buying me a free shot of liquor!

I think it was tequila but I don’t remember.

But how nice is that!

I didn’t even ask for it but he bought me it specifically.

Anyway, I was grateful obviously and the night goes on…

Next, we all hop in an Uber and head to some really fancy club in Polanco.

To this guy, it is still the fanciest place I had been to in Mexico City.

I usually prefer cheaper and chiller places…

But good thing I dressed up!

We get there anyway with some of the initial group gone.

The girl and her date didn’t go along.

And Armando had some other friends that we were going to meet up here.

And you know what he did next?

He covered my damn entrance fee into this place!

Now I told the guy that he doesn’t have to do this and it’s cool – I can pay just fine.

It wasn’t an insane amount I don’t think – not 50 bucks or anything.

But he went “no, no, esta bien.”

Meaning “it’s fine.”

At this point I was starting to suspect that Armando is gay or something.

Like nothing about the guy screamed gay and I knew he brought in women into his place occasionally.

But I was getting confused about why this complete stranger invited me to his night out celebrating his birthday, bought me a shot and covered my entrance.

But, as I learned later, I don’t think it was any of that.

We end up walking inside this place anyway.

And they had some pretty hot chicks dancing in the front.

And the place looked pretty solid.

Anyway, he introduces me to his friends again and is going along the same way as before…

“Es de ESTADOS UNIDOS! Es de CHICAGO. Habla 2 lenguas.”

Etc, etc…

Meaning I am from the US, Chicago and I speak Spanish and English.

And, at this point, I’m starting to feel like a trophy almost.

Like a gringo trophy.

“es un GRINGO.”

Was one thing he said also.

And amidst us hanging out at this place, we all chipped in for a bottle.

And he ended up getting some birthday drink for free from the club.

But you know what else he did?

Dude bought me a free beer also.

And that was basically the night.

His friends seemed cool and he seemed like a friendly guy also.

The club we went to was awesome.

But throughout the entire night from Perro Negro to this club…

He would at times emphasize how I am from the US and there was just something about the whole experience that ended up making me feel like I was basically just a gringo trophy to the guy.

Like “here’s my American friend.”

Now keep in mind that isn’t the only time I got invited to a random stranger’s birthday celebration.

Karla Was a Nice Woman

Back when I was with my last girlfriend…

I was chilling on my bed with her when I got a random message out of the blue from some chick.

I don’t quite remember her name well but let’s call her Karla.

Keep in mind that my girlfriend was laying next to me and she saw the message as well as we were watching some video on Youtube with my phone.

And she goes “quien es?” Or “who is this?”

Now keep in mind my girlfriend was not really the jealous type too much.

Let’s be honest – a lot of girls would maybe not tolerate well random chicks writing to me.

And keep in mind Karla wasn’t the only one.

Because before I met my girlfriend at the time, I was basically running through as many chicks as I could possibly do.

And in that process, you end up giving your number to a crap ton of chicks – many you meet up in real life and others you don’t.

So my girlfriend at the time knew beforehand that sometimes I would get random messages like “what’s up?” and she never took it seriously.

But this woman – Karla – she crossed the line.

Karla writes me a message asking how I am doing.

And I go “who is this?”

She responds “you don’t remember me?”

And keep in mind I didn’t have this chick’s number in my phone and her profile pic on Whatsapp was of some dog.

So I respond “I don’t know. Your profile pic isn’t you.”

So anyway she describes how we matched on Tinder like maybe 9 months prior or something like that.

And ends up sending me a photo of herself.

What was the photo of?

Of her standing in front of a mirror in panties and a bra.

No nudity but not too many steps away from it…

Now at this point my girlfriend muttered “zorra.”

Meaning whore basically.

She knew what Karla was trying to do here.

Karla, I guess you can say, is a lonely girl looking for a friend.

Nothing wrong with that.

Ok, maybe she was being too friendly to be fair with the photo.

And with the request afterwards…

She wrote a follow up text to the photo afterwards saying that “she wants to meet up with me for a cup of coffee” and afterwards have me come to her party to celebrate her birthday.

Obviously my girlfriend’s immediate response at seeing this was a “fuck no.”

But I was curious – why do you want me to go to your birthday party? We never met.

And I responded also that I have a girlfriend at this point.

“Well that’s why we can go get a cup of coffee and know each other first.”

The “girlfriend” comment didn’t get any attention from her – not important I suppose.

And she goes on about how “she loves meeting people from other countries and would love to have me.”

Mixed in with a “or we could practice my English over a beer too.”

At this point, my girlfriend wants my phone.

And I am suspecting a moment of comedic value is about to happen.

So I give it to her since I know where this is going…

And she basically writes to Karla  something along the lines of “pinche vieja puta, es MI HOMBRE. Vete a chupar una verga, zorra.”

Which, suffice to say for those who don’t speak Spanish, is not the nicest sentence one could write to a woman.

Basically she said something along the lines of “damn slutty whore, get your own man!”

Then she blocked Karla before she could respond but only after Whatsapp showed that Karla got the text.

And she gave me the phone, pointed a finger at me and said “don’t ever write to that slut or unblock her!”

As a side point, you could argue that my girlfriend's theme song at the moment was this one: "ese hombre es mio" by la factoria.

Suffice to say, Karla was not able to secure a gringo trophy for her birthday party.

Which, if I was single at the time, I could perhaps have played it out well – get some strange pussy and maybe a free shot of tequila and a beer like I did with Armando.

Now, keep in mind, I actually did meet up with Karla once.

At a later point in life, I broke up with my girlfriend over reasons that had nothing to do with Karla.

Just that I didn’t think we were compatible in the long term but the break up didn’t have any real drama or anything. All ended on good terms.

Either way, I noticed in my Whatsapp blocked list this strange number I don’t quite remember…

So I unblock it out of curiosity and wrote “que tal.”

And it was Karla!

And I remembered who Karla was and thought “this could be fun.”

So over a conversation, I took her on a date to meet up.

And my suspicions were right about her – she is all about those white American men!

Not exaggerating – throughout the date, I often heard sentences from her like “eres tan blanco” or “me gustan extranjeros.”

Meaning “you are so white” and “I like foreigners.”

And also a “me gusta Donald Trump.”

Yes, that’s right – she likes Donald Trump!

And I didn’t even bring up politics or nothing – it felt random to me.

Probably she was trying to impress me and thought I would like him also.

And, similar to the case with Armando, I felt more like a trophy than a real human.

Where, in the case of Karla, I felt something like a fetishized object to her – her chance to fuck a white American and all.

In my years of living down here, we tend to call these chicks “gringo hunters.”

They hunt gringos to date and fuck for whatever reason.

Maybe she wants a green card but that is rarely the case.

Other times they want someone with money.

Or perhaps they just have a fetish for white people in general and fetishize all things white.

In the same way you have chicks who fetishize Japanese dudes, black dudes, etc.

So it is what it is.

Not Just in Mexico…

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Now keep in mind stuff like this hasn’t just happened to me in Mexico.

In instances where I am not being invited to random parties…

I’ve had random people come up to me and ask me “where I am from” after hearing my accent in public at restaurants in Colombia and Guatemala from memory.

Also, I had a similar thing happen to me in Argentina when I was invited to some really fancy nightclub in Buenos Aires.

Still the fanciest nightclub I had ever seen.

Been to a house party also down here in Mexico where I somewhat felt like I was treated differently (in a good way) for being the foreigner of the area.

Though, having said all of this, I want to emphasize that it’s more common, at least in my experience, for this type of special treatment to happen in smaller cities that are not touristy whatsoever.

In that sense, you really are a novelty to a degree as most of the locals wouldn’t have seen a foreigner perhaps.

And, in the bigger cities like Mexico City or Buenos Aires, you are more likely to run into fancier rich Latino folks who perhaps also might have a preference for hanging out with foreigners.

On top of all of this, just keep in mind one thing..

Most locals in Latin America are not going to kiss your ass and treat you oh so much nicer just because you are a foreigner.

In fact, a few can be xenophobic.

So I don’t want to overemphasize this and make you all think that the second you step outside the airport in Latin America…

That you are going to immediately have hundreds of naked Karlas all flashing their pussies at you simultaneously while begging for that white gringo cock…

While at the same time, in the distance, random people are yelling at you “come join my party! Come join my party at the club!”

That’s ridiculous obviously.

Most people are not going treat you as nicely as the people mentioned above…

But it is a thing that happens every so often in my experience down here.

So it comes with the territory, in a minor way, when living in Latin America.

And if you have any experience with this yourself, write a comment below or follow me on Twitter here.

Thanks!

Best regards,

Matt

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