The Gringo Who Becomes Bitter Against Latin America

I believe most people who immigrate to another country hate certain things about said country.

They might not use the word "hate" and they might not even admit to disliking anything about said country.

The reasoning might be that they are the more humble type who feels they are perpetually a guest and don't wish to rock the boat by saying anything negative.

Others (mostly white liberals from the US, Canada, etc) feel it is racist to say anything negative about a country full of non-white people even after becoming expats (or immigrants?) there.

Maybe they have a business dependent on local customers in some small town where it would do no good to talk shit.

Other times it could be an older person who just doesn't have the energy nor the care to tell how they feel about things. They've been there and done that.

Among so many other reasons for why someone won't admit to disliking something about the country.

Having said that, some of these folks can become "bitter" immigrants (or expats?) against the country they chose to live in for so long.

Overall, they choose to keep living there perhaps because it is still a benefit to their life.

It also could be the case that they've lived there for so long that they don't feel the energy to leave even they feel the country is a negative place to live.

Especially if they have connections now to the country like a business, a home, kids, a wife or husband, etc.

There are many reasons why someone who actually dislikes the country they live in continue to live there to the bewilderment of anyone listening to their constant rants about said country.

Of course, some people might hear just one rant from one person and incorrectly conclude that said foreigner hates the country.

Acknowledging problems with a country is not the same as hating it.

If you can't see that, you probably are insecure, for whatever reason, when confronted with the negative realities of the place.

Having said that, it's usually obvious when you encounter a foreigner in a country that hates the country in question.

Though hate might again be a strong word.

Perhaps it's simply a foreigner who is bitter and feels resentment against said country after so much time there.

And there should be an emphasis on the words "so much time there."

Such bitterness usually comes after a certain period of time when the honeymoon phase is over like I wrote about here and where they've had enough negative experiences.

Some of these foreigners come across as bitter after 3 years.

Sometimes it could be as late as 10 years.

It comes when it does for those who can't look past the negatives and accept the flow of life down here with a bit of vodka.

And, quite frankly, when we are talking about gringos in Latin America who are expats (or immigrants?) down here, I think a little bit of vodka helps.

Though, if you are so inclined, you can opt for the whiskey, rum, tequila, or brandy.

Never gin though. Fuck that nasty ass shit.

I remember recently encountering a gringo like that down here who came across as bitter.

Such a gringo reminds me of Morgan Freeman in Shashank Redemption where he is on review to be let out.

At first, the gringo (or Morgan) might be full of energy.

In the end, said gringo comes across like they been sent to prison for 40 years and now have a certain "I don't give a fuck about anything, go fuck yourself" attitude.

Here's the scene in question.

Granted, I think a lot of people (not everyone) reach that point in life when they get old enough regardless of if they immigrated to another country or not.

That should be said too -- the older you get, the less fucks you give about shit and, for some, MAYBE that comes across as bitterness depending on how you speak about certain topics.

Especially in the presence of other gringos (or locals) who are sensitive to anything critical about the country.

So it might not be bitterness in question but just old people being old people.

Boomers being boomers.

Having said that, it could actually be bitterness.

Let's get to the example of the day that I saw recently.

A Boat Ride in Xochimilco of Mexico City

I've had three boat rides now on Xochimilco in Mexico City from three different parts of the area.

At this point, I don't feel like doing anymore of Xochimilco because I kinda feel like I've seen it all.

It's a cool area but I'm ready to move on.

On one of my trips anyhow, I got onto Cuemanco area and there happened to be some group I joined along with.

While doing it with some gringos, you always have the basic conversations.

Like what are you doing in Mexico?

You speak in Spanish?

How long you been here for?

So on and so on.

They want the full story.

Which, if I'm being honest, my story is pretty simple.

It's not like I was escaping the CIA.

At any rate, there was an older gringo in the group on the boat who was answering the questions as we all got into a conversation answering the same stuff mentioned.

I don't remember what his name was so let's just call him Edward.

Edward sounds like a boomer name.

At any rate, there was something about Edward's vibe that screamed that he didn't like Mexico.

One of those arrogant "fuck this place, nothing good here" vibes.

To which, when someone asked him "why you still here," he responded with something like "I don't know anymore."

But, during the whole trip, he often seemed quite negative about everything that had to do with Mexico.

There wasn't anything specific though.

When asked what food he liked, he said he likes pizza.

When asked if he knows Spanish, he laughed and said "what need?" or whatever it was exactly he said.

And, above all, he would occasionally say negative shit about Mexico and never seemingly had anything good to say.

Any topic we discussed would involve some negative comment from him to put some negative light on it.

Autistic as fuck.

Now, to be fair, I don't care if someone prefers pizza over Mexican food and doesn't want to learn Spanish while living in Mexico like he was.

As I wrote here, if you are a gringo or an immigrant to any country and don't wish to engage in the local culture in anyway, then whatever.

I don't care really.

But, above all, the most descriptive thing I could say again is that he just had that vibe that screamed bitterness.

It wasn't even so much the things he was saying but just the vibe he was giving off like he was bitter about the place.

Because, when it comes to these bitter gringos, it really is more about the vibe than the exact words they say that gives it away when you are dealing with one of them.

Final Thoughts

It is what it is.

What can I say?

Most of my thoughts on the matter are near the top of the article.

I suppose I could always say the usual "if you don't like it, GO HOME!!"

That always sounded too xenophobic for me but, in cases like the one above, I suppose I get why it might sound appropriate.

Though nothing is ever as simple as that.

It might be that they don't know how to get home.

Perhaps the bitter gringo has spent 20 years down here and going home sounds like a strange concept.

It shouldn't be.

They were from there.

But I think most gringos do find the idea of "going home" strange after enough time down here.

It might not be as difficult as they imagine.

Not difficult at all perhaps!

Maybe just a mental barrier.

Or it could be something else -- maybe they don't have family anymore to return to if they are old and most of the relatives have died by the time they are 60 and been here for 20 years.

You never know.

Circumstances vary by the person and we don't always have the full story.

So, if the bitter gringo continues to stay here or not, well it just is how it is.

I don't see much harm in keeping them around.

They might have too much negative energy but nobody said you have to hang out with them every day.

Nor do you have to take their advice on anything. They usually don't sugarcoat anything and can often say what is true a lot but at times their bitterness clouds their judgement on discussing life down here. 

And, when it comes to avoiding bitterness, I'm not sure what advice to give.

I don't always have advice because I don't always know the answer.

All I can say is that keeping an open mind is necessary.

Sometimes remembering that shit that happens here happens up north also.

Knowing that the cop who robbed you in Nicaragua is not representative of most Nicaraguans.

But having an open mind to differences is key.

I have no idea how to describe it beyond having a "fuck it, have a drink" philosophy down here.

Reminds me of this scene from Goodfellas here.

Where the dude wants his money but is getting fucked over and he gets told "cmon, have a drink!"

Well, I don't think you should have a drink if you are getting fucked over on thousands of dollars.

You shouldn't let people walk over you or fuck you over.

But I'm of the opinion that a successful life without bitterness down here requires sometimes a bit of a "have a drink!" attitude.

To not take everything so seriously when it doesn't work like back home.

For example, maybe someone shows up late by 10 minutes to a meeting.

Perhaps the train is fucking up and you got to wait 30 minutes before it continues on its path.

A local landlord is hitting his children in the room next door.

Well, maybe that last one would be hard to ignore.

Though, given how violence works here and the lack of reliability on cops, sometimes having a drink to such moments isn't the worst idea because nothing will change anyhow.

Well, you could go "supercivicos" and do something about it like this Youtube channel does here.

Maybe better than the typical attitude of the locals to ignore shit like I referenced here.

Still, over time, you get why the locals just "turn the cheek" on things.

Sometimes it really is better to grab a drink, have a laugh like I wrote about here and just learn to let the little things not bother you too much.

Honestly, I think that's a better path to avoiding bitterness than to be the near autistic gringo who complains about every little thing all the time.

Nothing wrong with getting shit off your chest in private or standing up for yourself when someone is trying to fuck you over.

But learn to laugh a little.

And have a drink.

At any rate, that's all I got to say.

Leave any comments below.

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Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt