- Dating Information>
- Gringos Not Understanding Flakiness as Part of Broader Culture
When you hear gringos talk about dating in Latin America, you’ll hear both genders complain about how the locals down here are “so flaky.”
Either it being the local who showed up 10 to 30 minutes late to the local who straight up forgot that any arrangement was made with you in the first place.
Thus, they didn’t show up at all!
While the complaint is more commonly made by gringo men, sometimes you have gringa women complain about this also!
For example, as I wrote here, there was one gringa I knew who had complaints along this nature with having to wait an hour or more for some local dude to show up to the date.
And countless gringo men making the same complaint.
Along with the gringos in general (men and women) complaining about how a date failed to show at all today.
And while all of this is very rude as it shows a lack of respect for the other person’s time, I also feel that sometimes gringos don’t make the bigger connection here.
In my opinion, the flakiness or lack of respect for your time isn’t necessarily a sign that she or he isn’t into you.
Though, for obvious reasons, it very much could be!
However, if we are being fair, it also could simply be an example of how locals down here simply don’t respect time in the same way we do.
Meaning that your date could actually be enough into you to meet you but cultural differences complicate it in my opinion.
Let me bring up some obvious examples showing how locals down here don’t respect time in other circumstances.
Ready for the Party?
Some years ago, I remember being in a relationship with my last Mexican girlfriend named Brenda.
It wasn’t uncommon for Brenda’s friends to make arrangements for some house party of the month or whatever.
However, said house party would usually be cancelled about half the time or more.
Well, being fair, cancelled isn’t the right word.
It would simply be forgotten about by literally everyone in the fucking party.
For example, there was one house party that they all agreed to.
And, though I was thinking of doing something else that Friday night, I didn’t make plans for anything else because I knew that Brenda and I were invited to some house party.
Then Friday came along.
I remember sending Brenda a text about it and she was like “what house party?”
And I reminded her.
“Oh that’s right! Uhhh…shit, I don’t know. Let me text them.” She said.
Suffice to say, literally every other person who was involved forgot about it also over the week.
And I emphasize over the week – Latinos remember shit better if the plans were only made one or two days previously.
Anything later than that? Forgot about it!
And forget about it, they did!
Anyway, Brenda and I went to see a movie that night in the movie theatres because the house party wasn’t going to happen.
And, as I said, it was like that about half the time with her friends.
Half the time, they’d forget the party and Brenda and I would do something else that night.
And they’d remember it the other half the time.
“What Time Are We Open?”
Yesterday, I went to get some Chinese food before moving to my new apartment later that day.
It was 12 PM.
After having bought some pants and gym shorts at the Walmart next door, I show up to this Chinese place with a 500 Mexican peso bill in hand.
When I need to break a 500 peso bill, I go to places like this because they do accept them!
Which, as a side point, not every Mexican place does because apparently 25 bucks is too fucking much for some of these folks.
Anyway, it’s actually a tiny bit past 12 PM when I go there but they aren’t ready!
Still cooking the food.
And I wait about 30 more minutes for the food that I want to be cooked.
Keep in mind, that was only the food I wanted to order that was ready 30 minutes in.
They still had half the stuff on the menu not available by then.
So, if I had to guess, they were completely open for business at 1 PM more or less.
Or about an hour after their sign says that they are open outside.
As I’ve said elsewhere on this website, I haven’t found it too uncommon for businesses down here to be open an hour or more later than what they advertise on average.
It’s fucking annoying but you have to get used to it.
After all, we’re on local time down here and you have to give the employees an extra hour to stop jerking off to Lesbian Midget porn before opening their business.
Just the way it is – I don’t make the rules.
But another example of how the locals don’t respect the time regardless of it being a dating situation or something else.
“Which Class is This?”
Then we have education.
Now, to be fair, I’m not the most experienced with the education system in Latin America.
However, I have studied formally in both Argentina and Colombia for brief periods.
Something I should write about now that I think about it…
Anyway, I did go to some graduate classes in Argentina and undergraduate classes in Colombia.
In Argentina, they were more formal and all with the classes.
In Colombia, not as much.
Simply put, it was more common for professors to show up considerably late and whatever else down there.
Which, to be fair, isn’t to say that unprofessional professors don’t exist in the US!
Only I found them to be a little more unprofessional with things like time when I was studying very briefly in Barranquilla.
Searching for an Apartment in Lindavista
Next, we have apartment hunting!
As I wrote in this long article recently, I got into a bit of an apartment hunt recently in Mexico City.
Particularly around an area called Lindavista.
In doing so, I found at least two apartment owners who legit forgot I had dates set up to check out the apartments that they offered.
One of them seemed like a legit good option by Metro Ferreria but the landlord told me to reach out to her boyfriend before I head over a few days later to check out the place.
The boyfriend never responded to my texts until the hour of the appointment and told me that he wasn’t near the apartment area.
That he was busy.
Even though his girlfriend, who seemed in charge of advertising the place on Facebook, agreed to meet me at a specific time and place a few days ahead of time.
Then there was another place I visited that straight up didn’t answer the fucking door when I showed up.
We agreed to a time and place for the appointment.
When I showed up, no answer.
A call later.
And I get told “oh sorry, we’re not there right now. When can you come back?”
What the fuck?
Back to Dating
Finally, let’s go back to dating examples but keep it brief.
The horse has been beaten and its spirit is pleading for respect to its dead body.
So I’ll keep it brief.
I’ve had Latinas – plenty of them – show up late to a date.
The usual ol’ 10 to 30 minutes late.
Over the 6 years living down here, has there ever been a correlation between a girl showing up late and not fucking?
No correlation at all.
They still fuck if they want to.
On top of that, you have women failing to show up on a particular date but still fucking afterwards.
For example, there’s a chick named Jovi that I’m meeting now that had an excuse for not showing up to the first date we were supposed to have.
To this day, she’s been one of the better chicks I’ve had sex with in a long time since then.
She flaked one day and came around very soon after.
Similarly, I remember a chick named Karla who had to miss our first date but showed up to fuck on the next one planned in Mexico City some odd months ago.
In her case, job responsibilities made her miss the first time.
Which, as a side point, should be mentioned also – sometimes real world responsibilities do cut into a woman’s ability to meet you.
Some guys are so insecure that they’ll see even that as an example of her not being into you.
When, in reality, she’s never met you motherfucker and has real world responsibilities that need attending to now.
It doesn’t mean that she isn’t into you. Chill the fuck out.
That’s true no matter where you are in the world.
And, when it comes to the topic of flakiness, the broader point with that is that, like in non-dating aspects to life down here, she doesn’t value time as much.
So it could be that she simply forgot about the date in the same way that the professor, apartment landlord, the Chinese restaurant employees and house party friends forgot about their arrangements in Latin America.
Down here, people forget shit much more easily and are more “careless” with time than folks back home.
My only advice is to understand that her missing on a date doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t down to fuck you.
It could just be an extension of the non-dating examples above in which someone is careless with time.
Of course, the actionable advice I have for you is this then:
- Don’t take it personally if a date is forgotten about but don’t be a walking mat.
- If a date flakes or cancels, be down to set up a second one if you really want to with this chick.
- If she flakes again, forget her.
- Have other options obviously so her missing out on a date doesn’t mean nothing.
- Always have the first date show up near your apartment. That way, you don’t miss out or give up any time if she does flake. If she does, whatever. You didn’t commit anything to it anyhow.
- When it comes to dates with women down here (or appointments with anything non-dating wise), I’ve always felt like you have to treat the locals like children almost. Hold their hand leading up to the date or appointment by casually reminding them of the date and time you two are supposed to meet up. Don’t be a pain in the ass about the reminders but do know that locals down here need an extra reminder or two in my experience.
- Have other things going on in your life outside of dating. Sounds obvious but some men down here literally make it their life and that’s not healthy.
- Understand that this “looseness” with time in dating also applies to other aspects of life down here (which is the main point of the article).
And that’s all I got to say!
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Thanks for reading.
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