All you need to know about Iberian America

“Latin America Would be a SHITHOLE Without Us Gringos!”

We all know the truth.

If is wasn’t for us Americans living in Latin America….

This whole region would be an UTTER SHITHOLE.

That’s right.

We Americans make Latin America what it is today.

Without us, folks down here wouldn’t have cars, houses, electricity, NOTHING.

All they’d have would be a bunch of tortillas and mojitos.

Well, OK, moijitos is something….

And tortillas can be used to make delicious food…

But regardless, that’s not the point!

Without us, their women would be miserable without our 15 inch dicks.

Nobody down here would have money because tourism wouldn’t be a concept.

Cannibalism would be the law of the land.

It’s a realization I’ve had every day…

Sitting on the balcony of my colonial hacienda in the mountains of Cuba…

Drinking all of those fine mojitos I mentioned before…

And having 9 wives of different nationalities – Colombian, Venezuelan, Cuban, Argentine, Dominican, Cuban, Mexican, Brazilian and Puerto Rican.

I tried getting a Paraguayan one but they’re too expensive…

Either way, it’s a thought I’ve had many times over…

Just how WE GRINGOS make Latin America what it is.

Subsequently, we can do whatever the fuck we want!

The laws don’t apply to us here!

We are at the top of society.

Just the other day, the President of Cuba, Miguel Díaz-Canel, called me apologizing for his wife being on her period last night.

“Lo siento Sr. Gringo pero te lo juro….a mi esposa le gusta anal también!”

“Ya lo se…ya lo se, chico.”

Of course, i got reminded again of just how awesome we gringos are when I saw these comments below on this Youtube video.

You can see the screenshots here.

I was looking at this video because I was researching the risk of drugs in Colombia for another article.

To translate what the screenshots say…

Well we have a person named “Nanda” (that’s a new name I’ve never heard before) basically calling out the gringo in the video.

Where she is making the assumption that the chicks who drugged the guy in Colombia were prostitutes and that he is only in Colombia to do drugs and prostitutes.

With her going on about how a lot of gringos consider Cartagena to be the place to be for drugs and fucking prostitutes.

In which they have total impunity because, in her perspective, gringos think that Colombia “needs tourists” and so that many gringos think they can do whatever they want down here.

That they’re the JEFE!

The BIG BOSS!

Then we have a guy named Edgar standing up for us gringos talking about how she shouldn’t assume shit in the same way she probably doesn’t like foreigners assuming shit about her for being Colombian.

Like how all Colombians are drug dealers and shit.

Anyway, he’s saying basically that she is generalizing a bit and she’s just talking trash and all about a guy who was genuinely attacked.

And so, jokes aside, that’s the basic topic today.

Of course, before we get started, I’d like to speculate that I think “Nanda” is an insecure local who just hates seeing bad news posted online about Colombia.

If I can partake in making generalizations, I’ve noticed that Colombians, generally speaking, tend to be much more sensitive to any criticism or bad news presented of their country by a foreigner.

So it could be the case, as a theory, that Nanda might just be talking shit to make an excuse for why the gringo had a bad experience so that Colombia looks less bad in his story.

Anyway, Nanda might not be doing that but I’ve seen locals in Latin America do that at times by trying to blame the victim as a way to deflect attention away from the negatives of their respective country.

Though, to be fair, Nanda also has a fair theory of her own – that Mr. Gringo is just a drug using, prostitute fucking, foreigner who happens to be a “profe” also.

Anyway, let’s address that by talking about the use of generalizations before getting to the broader topic.

Are Generalizations OK?

Look, the theory that Nanda presents isn’t totally off base.

As I wrote in this article here, I think it’s more than OK to present generalizations as long as we all understand two things:

  • In the case of the gringo in the video, we have to understand it’s nothing more than a theory if we don’t have evidence.
  • For broader generalizations that are not about any specific situation, I think they are OK as long as we all understand it is a generalization that doesn’t apply to every situation in the real world.

As I wrote here, I think it’s perfectly OK to generalize about Latin America.

By saying shit about Colombia like “Colombian food sucks major ass dick” to “Colombian girls are very easy to get to sucking your dick.”

Lots of dick sucking in Colombia, it so seems!

But that’s just a generalization.

Because we all know that in the Colombian city of Yopal…

There is a sweet Colombian gal named Araceli Casasola Arguisuelas Balboa de la Luna!

Who cooks the BEST Latin food in all of AMERICA LATINAAAAAAAA

And, though she does anal, she will not do anal until the 100th date.

Before that, you’ll have to be satisfied with her weak ass handjobs.

So, in all fairness, not all Colombian women are easy!

But we get that!

Which is why, unless you are severely autistic and can’t understand the purpose of generalizations, you should know it doesn’t apply to everyone.

So while I stand behind statements like “Colombian food sucks” and “Colombian women suck (good)….”

I also have to be fair here and stand by Nanda in her generalization (to a degree).

On one hand, if she were to make a generalization like “gringos like to snort cocaine off a hooker’s ass in Cartagena”

Well….

Fair shot, Nanda.

Fair shot.

I can’t deny it – it’s a thing that happens!

A generalization that, though it doesn’t apply to every gringo, there is surely smoke behind the fire!

Though, at the same time, I do think that Nanda has to recognize that applying the generalization to this specific guy is maybe a little bit speculative because she doesn’t know him or his situation.

In the comments, someone mentioned how “he is a professor” who has spent many years in Colombia.

Therefore, he can’t be like a stereotypical gringo doing drugs and all.

Eh, I disagree with that perspective.

Being a professor doesn’t mean you are more likely to be above the drugs and chicas.

In fact, being a professor could just as likely be his way of supporting himself financially and legally to stay in the country to do more drugs and prostitutes!

Of course, that is again just a theory based on a generalization.

And, to be fair, I’d argue there is a hint of xenophobia in the sentiment in Nanda’s comment.

Which could be warping her perception about the guy’s story.

That and maybe also, as I said, an uncomfortable insecurity when hearing a story by a foreigner that paints your country in a bad light.

Either way, let’s move beyond the topic of generalizations…

And go to addressing this type of gringo.

The “WE OWN THIS PLACE” type of gringo.

The Gringo Jefes

That’s right.

These are the gringos who MAKE SHIT HAPPEN.

They OWN this joint.

When they see a pretty chica en mini falda in the street, they just grab them BY THE PUSSY.

“When you’re a gringo, they let you do it.”

Jokes aside, these types do exist but to varying degrees.

First, part of this obviously comes from a stubborn arrogant mentality that your country is better than others.

And, to be fair, I can see why some gringos might take this mentality on if they live down here for years and realize how so many things are done inefficiently or fucked up.

Where, maybe they were a bit arrogant before, but now they feel even more arrogant when they take on a negative mentality towards most of the locals.

Walking down the street mumbling to themselves “fucking Colombians” after a bad day of one thing fucking up to another.

Second, I feel most gringos realize at some point that they are arguably in a more comfortable spot class wise down here than back home.

Where the USD stretches quite nicely down here…

And you can live a solid life on not too much money.

As a result, they might take on a little more arrogance from feeling like they are somehow in the “upper class of society” by being a gringo living comfortably on USD.

The irony of this is that their money and nationality has little to no importance to the few locals who are actual elites.

In fact, the opposite could be the case where they might look down on said gringo as being beneath them when they stereotype all gringos into being sex tourists who “couldn’t make it work back home.”

A topic I wrote more about here.

So there’s a bit of irony there in feeling like you are better than the locals and can do whatever you want out of class difference and being teleported almost to a higher class than you are back home but all the while the actual elites of society can sometimes see  you as beneath them.

Arguably, there’s a bit of irony also here even when dealing with non-elites.

The gringo who thinks he is better for being in a higher class down here dealing with poorer locals where some of them might resent him due to reasons like xenophobia, jealousy, bad experience with previous gringos, etc.

Third, you have the obvious mentality that people come down here with having not yet experienced anything from Latin America. That stereotypical mentality of “WE ARE NUMBER 1!” that you find in some folks from the US and other countries.

The British guy who looks down on the Polish guy to the American guy who looks down on Mexico.

In either case, not having even been to Poland or Mexico but having that mentality because one country is wealthier than the other.

This arrogant mindset usually has some roots before you even step off the plane in either Poland or Mexico.

Or anywhere else in the world.

Fourth, the idea that “we can do whatever we want” also comes from, in my opinion, being in a different country as a tourist. Perhaps similar to when anons talk shit to other folks on the internet? No risk of being punched.

Similarly, when you are in another country that you are going to leave in a week anyhow, it might be more likely that you feel like you can be more liberal in your actions.

Plus, nobody knows you here so you care less about the opinions of those outside.

Fifth, I’d also say the locals are partly to blame for this mentality. When life is so informal in Latin America where we gringos see that you actually can get away with shit…

Like when you notice how sometimes the locals might bribe a cop or whatever…

To doing other informal things that not everyone would find tasteful..

You’re likely to mimic it also when you think “well, this seems to be what is normal here! You can just do X and nobody cares. Eh, OK then.”

Doesn’t make it right when you do that but I get why folks develop that mindset.

Folks like myself!

I’ve been in cases where I bribed cops like here or bribed a guy at a store to violate liquor laws and sell me a bottle at non-permitted hours like here.

And outside of bribes…

You see other things like people littering outside a lot more than they would in the US…

Like an ex-girlfriend of mine who would literally just dump a trash bag by the corner by her apartment because “who cares, the trash guy will find it someday soon.”

And that happens sometimes also!

Among other informal ways of doing things.

Which, to be fair, isn’t to say that all the locals are to blame here.

Nor does it make it right for a gringo to act in the same manner.

Without doubt, it obviously makes things worse if foreigners engage in similar informal behavior.

I guess, in that sense, it depends on how much the gringo really gives a fuck about all of this or if he decides it’ll be best to just act like the locals he sees at times.

A bit like if you are invited into a friend's house...

And you see your friend shit in the sink!

Of course, why wouldn't you ask "mind if I join you?!"

If it seems like a normal custom in his house, you surely don't want to be rude and stand out by not doing what everyone else is doing!

So go shit in the sink!

I do it all the time!

In the end, it should also be said that there is somewhat of a hypocrisy among some locals down here on this topic…

Where some of them might engage in similar informal behavior and not give a fuck if others do…

But only care if a gringo does it because it can be a good cover over the xenophobia they might actually carry with them.

Again, not all locals are like this – “not to generalize.”

But it’s something that has crossed my mind.

Finally….

Thoughts on the gringos who are more “brazen” in their arrogance?

Because, as I said, it all varies.

Most gringos I would say are not extreme or too open about their arrogance.

Or at least not too obnoxious about it.

But some could be!

Well, what do you want me to say?

Someone who is brazenly arrogant running around yelling “I AM BETTER THAN ALL THE MEXICANS!”

Sounds like someone who will get punched in the face one day if he is THAT OPEN about it.

So I guess the problem works itself out?

Anyway, that’s all I got to say on the matter.

Drop any comments below.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt

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