All you need to know about Iberian America

“But Gringo! I Speak English! Give Me Your Money!”

The other day about a year or ago so….

I was on Facebook making Facebook UNO….

And getting my ass kicked by some dude with a Russian sounding name when he made me draw 4 more cards…

“Fuck this shit!” I yell.

I grab my vodka drink and pour it down before moving on…

Looking at the time…

“3:12 AM..”

“Fuck….I need to get to work and write some articles or some shit…”

Anyway, I go back to looking through Facebook and saw an offer for an apartment in Mexico City…

What was the offer?

About 20,000 pesos for some small ass room in Polanco area.

It looked like a very nice room, to be fair.

But 20,000 pesos?

That’s about a thousand USD and was crazy expensive for what it was offering.

Not even an apartment.

Just a room in a shared apartment with some other dude who lives there with his girlfriend.

And get this…

The dude wouldn’t allow visits to the room – in case I want to bring someone over for sex or hang out or whatever.

But let he has his girlfriend living with him.

No pets either.

Though he had a dog (not that it matters, I don’t have any pets anyway).

The only good thing about this place was that the apartment as a whole looked relatively modern.

The kitchen looked nice, for sure.

But who the fuck is going to pay 20,000 pesos for a small ass room in Mexico City?

Most Mexicans ain’t paying that…

So who does he think will be paying for this?

Well, the clue is in the offer….

It was offered by someone who I assume was Mexican….

In an apartment page on Facebook that is targeted towards mostly Mexicans (and probably some other gringos in that group also)…

Who almost everyone is going to be speaking in Spanish…

But yet he made his offer in English.

And not just English…

He had a copy and paste advertisement in French right below it because apparently he speaks English and French is what he said.

Who was he looking for?

As he said in his offer, ideal candidates are “young professionals or foreigners.”

Now let me ask you something…

How many Mexicans, first and foremost, would pay 20,000 pesos when they can get a much better deal for much less.

Second, who is he marketing towards when writing in English and French (and not Spanish)?

How many Mexicans, who in theory, speak Spanish, right?

Granted, 3 years down here so far in Mexico….

And you know, I haven’t met a single Mexican who can speak Spanish…

Right, right….

Well, smartass comments aside, obviously no Mexican is looking up apartments in Mexico in English.

That’d be like me living in the US and looking  up an apartment in German.

Why would I do that?

Doesn’t make sense.

Truth is, he wasn’t marketing towards local Mexicans obviously.


One, he might be one of those Mexicans who doesn’t like to be Mexican and wants to pretend that he is like the other foreigners and gringos…

Some upper class type shit I sometimes have seen down here among some of those folks…

Or, most likely, he is looking to market towards a group of people who he knows would pay for more money for less when compared to Mexicans.

A group of people who come from a country like the US where spending a 1,000 bucks for rent (utilities included) doesn’t sound like a bad deal when living in a major city like Mexico City…

A group of people that he assumes do not speak Spanish and who…

Ideally don’t have any real experience in Mexico or anywhere in Latin America and don’t necessarily know the local prices for stuff…

And who probably have more money to throw down in general for an apartment…

Or whatever really.

Suffice to say, this person got ridiculed in his post on the Facebook group by locals Mexicans making fun of the offer.

And he ended up closing any new comments to the post because he probably got tired of it.

Now, keep in mind, it isn’t like every Latino who speaks English down in Latin America is trying to scam foreigners with their offers…

As one of my last apartment offers in Pachuca was a pretty good deal by this Mexican lady named Maria.

Granted, she didn’t approach me in English online or have an offer online for her place in English…

She simply saw that I was looking for a place and offered a pretty good deal for what it offered.

But, in my experience, I’d say maybe 7/10 whenever a local Latino is trying to offer their product or service to me or others in English….

It almost always ends up being way over priced.

For the reasons I mentioned above – at least from what I have noticed.

And there are countless other examples I have seen of this happening..

Be it some local Latino offering their apartment in English to a group of mostly Mexicans funny enough…

To some street hustler trying to sell balloons, candy or whatever…

No joke, one time when walking around Zocalo area, I had some dude dressed as clown harass me in trying to get me to buy a ballon for 20 bucks or so.

I don’t know what that fucker was smoking that day…

Suffice to say, he didn’t like my response when I told him to fuck off…

I guess the Gringo ATM Machine was not open to him that day…

Keep on hustling, dipshit.

Only other thing that needs to be mentioned here is a word of caution – most people down here won’t be trying to fuck you over on prices.

Something called the gringo price – overcharging on basic stuff – something I will write more about later.

But just do your research ahead of time on what things cost down here and don’t be afraid to walk away if bargaining over the price doesn’t work.

And know conversational Spanish at least.

With those things together, you probably won’t be fucked over too much on price too much if ever.

Either way, this is a topic for another day – the gringo price.

But the theme of this article in particular – the main theme anyway – is to be cautious or hesitant to do business with any local Latino who is offering you or others a product or service in English.

Like I said, they are often scammers looking to cheat a foreigner hoping that said foreigner is too ignorant about the prices down here.

And they might also be one of the types who deep inside hate being Latino and want to pretend that they are a foreigner.

Those types are worth an article for another day but god damn they are annoying.

Anyone who doesn’t appreciate where their roots are can get really fucking annoying real quick.

But again, another topic for another day.

Anyway, if you have any experience with this topic, leave a comment below.

And follow me on Twitter here.


Best regards,


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