All you need to know about Iberian America

Colombia Has Nothing to Offer Except COCAINE!

Published September 22, 2021 in Colombia , Personal Stories & Opinions - 0 Comments

It’s the truth.

Nothing good comes from Colombia.

No good food.

No good music.

The women are butt fucking ugly.

The people are retarded.

No real culture even.

Lots of poverty.

The only thing that Colombia does well is COCAINE.

That’s it really.

Back when I was in Colombia, I remember very vividly being at a house party with Pablo Escobar himself.

We snorted some cocaine off a hooker’s ass and laughed about how “JAJAJAJAJAJAAJ COLOMBIA ES UN PAIS DE PUTAS Y COCAINA!!! JAJAJAJA NADA MAS PARCERO!!”

It was a fun night.

But, in the midst of the partying, a voice was being heard from some unknown source.

I focused.

“What is that?” I thought.

And it was my ex-girlfriend Marcela.

Who happened to be from a Colombian city called Barranquilla.

Her face appeared out of nowhere as she said “wow, tanto tiempo en Colombia y solo puedes pensar en cocaina. Ok, k bien pendejoooo.”

Then I woke up.

Colombia is a Cocaine Paradise?

Unfortunately, I was not actually invited to any party with Pablo Escobar to do cocaine off a hooker’s ass.

That does sound fun as fuck.

However, said conversation with Marcela did happen.

About 5 or so years ago, we broke up.

She now lives in a Mexican state called Sinaloa.

I haven’t said anything to her since about maybe 6 months ago more or less?

Maybe more? I forgot.

But, despite being married to a Mexican dude, she used to reach out to me and we sometimes even flirted a bit.

However, I can’t help from being a smartass sometimes and got put into purgatory with her as far as I’m aware.

In which our last conversation ended with me being a smartass and making a joke about Pablo Escobar and cocaine.

I forgot the joke exactly but I thought it was good.

Unfortunately, she didn’t.

And her response was something like “wow, so much time in Colombia but you can only think of cocaine.”

Suffice to say, we don’t do too much talking right now because she didn’t like the joke.

Whatever it was – I genuinely forgot what it was.

Still, it was a good joke, damn it!

I promise!

But it’s not one that Colombians would find funny.

To which I think of my time talking with an old Colombian friend named Andres about it years ago when I was in Barranquilla.

“Pablo is Hitler.”

Back when I lived in Barranquilla, Colombia, I used to go out at night at around midnight to go drinking with a Colombian dude named Andres.

Anyway, I remember having to take a piss after like the 5th beer or some shit…

And, soon enough, the topic of Pablo and cocaine got brought up.

I don’t remember the exact conversation but I do remember the broader topic.

In which, if I remember right, I asked Andres “how does he feel about the stereotypes of Colombia being just a place of cocaine and Pablo Escobar shit?”

To which Andres responded sincerely about how “he’s like our Hitler” and how thinking that Colombia is just a bunch of wannabe Pablo narcos is like thinking that Germany is still a country of nazis.

Which, to a degree, makes sense.

Though, on the flip side, I can see the counter argument.

But let’s get to the broader topic then.

My Thoughts

First, I get it.

Stereotypes are annoying.

In the same way I never miss a beat on bitching about Latinos thinking foreigners don’t speak Spanish to having a shit ton of money.

And everything else.

So, before we go further, I want to say that I get that it’s annoying for folks to have stereotypes about a group of people that you belong to in which that stereotype doesn’t fit for you.

No, obviously not every Colombian is a cocaine dealer like you see in Scarface here.

And I’m glad!

Not once did Marcela or Andres try to shove a chainsaw up my asshole!

Much appreciated.

Second, I get it can be annoying when people don’t know anything else about your country outside of the stereotypes.

Like not knowing the food, culture, music or anything else from your country.

Only cocaine.

Of course, we can blame, in part, mainstream media and movies on this one.

Like Scarface for example?

I remember reading how the production of Scarface drew a lot of ire from the Cuban community back in the day for its portrayal of Cubans being as dangerous.

Third, while not every American is fat, not every Colombian sells cocaine and not every Cuban was a thief…

It still can be said that acknowledgement of trends is needed.

Yes, Americans are fatter on average than most nationalities.

Yes, there was some increase in crime when lots of Cubans migrated during the Mariel boatlift as you can read here.

And yes, Colombia still is a top country for the production of cocaine as you can read here.

On that note, while I don’t think these facts should define everyone from those 3 nationalities, it’s also important to not “sweep them under the rug” and pretend like they’re not a thing.

Fourth, much of this, as I just began hinting at, could also be applied to really any Latin country if we are being honest.

I started with Colombia as the broader example for this article because I’m listening to “Rush Rush” on the Scarface playlist as I type this and it reminded me of Colombia’s cocaine.

A good song as you can see here!

Still, the stereotypes persist for other countries also.

Mexico being an obvious one when it comes to folks thinking that Mexico is a wasteland where you’ll get stabbed in the kidney the second you step off the plane.

And, as we see in this video here, even Latinos have their bad stereotypes against each other.

Like the Argentine president saying that Brazilians come from the jungle and Mexicans are nothing but indigenous folks.

Which is the fifth point –  even Latinos can be guilty of this also.

Be it with their own stereotypes against people from the US to their stereotypes against Latinos from other countries.

And I could go all day with those last two points – bringing up stereotypes against other types of Latinos outside of Colombians, Cubans, Mexicans and Brazilians.

I could go all day!

But you get the point.

Some stereotypes are not fair at all.

And others are, in my opinion, based on some reality even though they shouldn’t be considered applicable to all or even most of the people they are targeted at.

Like how, as I said, Americans tend to be fat but not all of them are.

To how Colombia is a top cocaine producing country even though most Colombians (though many do) are not personally producing or consuming cocaine.

Anyway, that’s all I got to say on this basic topic.

Follow my Twitter here.

And thanks for reading.

Best regards,


No comments yet

Leave a Reply: