Let’s say you are walking around some part of Latin America…
Maybe Buenos Aires in Argentina?
Or perhaps Mexico City?
Either way, it’s a nice quiet day outside…
The birds are chirping…
The homeless guy who is always by the corner around your apartment is taking a nice nap after a few hours of a schizophrenic episode….
And the panhandlers haven’t harassed you yet!
All around, the day is looking pretty good.
Then, out of nowhere, someone spills a mysterious substance all over you!
What could this substance be?
Well, it varies.
Could be mustard.
Maybe even bird shit!
Literally, it could be bird shit even.
Afterwards, some old lady comes by out of nowhere to help you clean up!
“Joven!! Joven!!” she yells as she apologies profusely trying to wipe away the substance.
During this moment of confusion, someone else steals from you without you noticing.
Perhaps they take your bag.
Or maybe they steal your wallet.
Whatever they can!
Years ago, before my time to Guatemala, I read about this scam.
Back then, I was reading up articles about safety in Guatemala and what I should do to protect myself…
And I remember reading back then that there was this scam of people basically dumping ketchup on you and doing the same thing above.
All of a sudden, they have a shit ton of napkins supposedly just on hand to clean it up.
Now, to be fair, I have never had this scam done on me.
It would be unfortunate for anyone to preform this scam on me because I literally never have anything on person when outside.
So I can see it already…
Some scammer seeing me as the gringo and going “oh sisi!!! Ya veo un gringo!!! Tiene un chingo de dinero yo se!!!” while rubbing their hands together.
Then they perform the scam on me…
And, knowing about the scam, if they happen to do this while I’m in a bad mood, I could see myself gauging their fucking eyes out.
Especially if I’m drunk.
Which, for the last year, has been for about 90% of my time.
They come after a gringo tourist expecting millions because so many of the locals think we are just flooded with cash…
They get an alcoholic on a bad day with at most 5 dollars on person and his phone left in his apartment.
Next exactly the same thing.
Either way, as I said, I’ve never experienced this scam personally.
Though someone just posted on Facebook that this scam literally just happened in Mexico City about 3 hours ago as I write this.
The Soy Sauce Version
So the basics of what happened was this according to the story…
Some foreign chick was walking around Condesa area when an older woman and a guy tried this scam on her.
The woman in question, as you can read here below, had a blue top and a Michael Kors purse while the guy had a plaid shirt.
Both of them short.
And, as you can see, they supposedly hit you from behind but hit your head.
I guess, as the text reads, to make it seem like it came from above and not the chick?
Then, as the usual scam is, they have a bunch of napkins to help you clean up.
While you are distracted, they take your shit basically.
Now, as you can see in the screenshots above, this couple is supposedly quite popular in Mexico City!
They tried this also in Del Valle, Reforma Avenue and Roma Norte in general it seems.
Always looking for foreigners.
This is one of those reasons for why I prefer non-touristy areas.
But I digress.
Anyway, I thought this scam was just a myth to be honest for most of my time in Latin America.
Or something that maybe happened once but doesn’t really happen.
Because, in my 6 years in Latin America across most countries, I’ve never had this happen to me.
Granted, I’m pretty aware of my surroundings.
I get weirded out a bit if someone is walking up behind me and I didn’t notice them ahead of time because I always have my eyes everywhere.
Like a month ago or so…
When I left my current apartment to get some food…
There was some young looking dude standing outside the plaza area where my building is.
Was looking at me weird when I left the building.
Then I came back with some Dominos in hand and he mumbled some shit.
And something didn’t feel right about this kid.
Anyway, I walked onto the plaza…
And chose the first set of stairs to go up.
Normally, I go up the second set of stairs because it leads me more directly to my building.
But something told me to go up the first set..
He followed me and was looking at me intensely.
And once I got up the first set of stairs, he stopped when his eyes focused in on the security guard on the next floor.
Suffice to say, he didn’t continue following me.
Pussy ass bitch.
What, you don’t like my security guard?
Anyway, that’s probably one of the tips I would give when it comes to the original scam talked about in this article…
But let’s get to the tips anyway that I read online and also tips I would give for how to handle this.
Alright, so the first tip I would have is to simply be aware of your surroundings.
Like I said, my head is always looking around whenever I’m outside.
Some might say I’m paranoid by how often my eyes dart around but it has helped me at times notice weird shit or folks seemingly sizing me up.
Though, in Mexico, you can’t tell the difference always between a guy staring at you because he’s contemplating on robbing you…
Or maybe it’s just a young midget sized chubby incel type that just feels like staring you down to assert dominance?
Mexico has a few of those.
Anyway, keep aware of your surroundings.
Second, never carry anything on you.
Why do you need to?
On a typical day in Mexico, I literally never need more than 5 to 10 bucks on person.
I never carry my phone with me outside.
So what the fuck are they going to steal?
The sauce and the napkins they’d going to use would probably be worth at least half of the 5 bucks they could get.
So good fucking luck to them, I guess.
Anyway, as the point goes, they can’t steal anything if you don’t have anything on you.
Third, sources online give out the obvious tips like the following:
- Don’t let them get near you to clean up.
- Get out of the situation as fast as you can.
- Keep your hand on any valuables you have.
Now, that’s all good advice if you don’t want to be hostile to these motherfuckers.
However, with someone like this, I’d like to see their fucking teeth broken in.
Not encouraging violence but I am just talking about my violent fantasies here.
Anyway, if you want to fuck with them a little bit, I’d encourage to maybe take a picture or keep in mind the license plate of whatever vehicle they use if they happen to have one nearby?
Obviously then report it to the police – especially if you have the license plate or if you have pictures of who these people are.
Though if you are in a area with plenty of cameras, like plenty of neighborhoods in Mexico City, then you can rely on those perhaps for the video footage of them.
Having said that…
We all know Latin America is not well-known for having the most useful or non-corrupt cops.
Still, sometimes the cops down here do take a break from taking it up the ass from a prostitute and actually do their jobs….
Like you can see in videos below here.
And, even if the cops don’t do anything about your incident, having these specific folks on record can help in the long run.
If these folks were to keep committing this scam and keep getting reported, then, in theory, it should contribute to someone arresting them.
This is Latin America as you know.
Finally, if you actually live down here, choosing to not live in a touristy neighborhood could help.
Granted, if there is a particular touristy neighborhood you like, then I wouldn’t choose to not live there because of this scam.
As I said, I’ve never had this happen to me anyhow.
But I do prefer personally to not live in touristy areas in part because of all of the extra panhandlers and how more aggressive they are in those parts.
At least in Mexico City anyway.
Either way, that’s all I can legally say that doesn’t involve encouraging extreme violence against these folks.
I discourage knocking these fuckers out!
But got any thoughts yourself?
Drop them below in the comment section.
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Thanks for reading.