Why do Argentines Have Pointy Noses?

Yesterday, I was talking with my sister over the phone and one topic that came up was different nationalities.

According to her, apparently her husband hates Indians or something (though, in his defense, I think I heard him deny that when she said it).

That’s understandable though – while every Indian I met was cool, we all obviously know that Pakistanis are cooler.

I’m Team Pakistan in case you didn’t know.

Anyway, sticking to this topic, we got onto discussing differences in appearances between certain nationalities.

On that topic, I mentioned noses.

From my very vague memory, I remember people in Turkey having very odd noses (which she disagrees with based on the 4 Turkish people she’s seen on Google).

Same with the few Israelis I’ve met in my life.

And, along that point, I also have noticed Argentines having very particularly pointy noises.

Now, while I don’t have a strong opinion on Turkish noses and I’m hesitant to talk about Israeli noses in case anyone bitches at me about stereotypes, I will stand strongly anyhow behind Argentine noses.

They definitely have some fucked up noses.

Not all of them of course!

Years ago, I travelled to Spain as part of this group and the Argentine husband of this Spanish chick I knew had a normal nose.

He was from the Argentine province of Corrientes though and we all know those Corrientes folks are the coolest people of Argentina.

So obviously they wouldn’t have fucked up noses.

Obviously.

In all seriousness anyhow, it really was an observation that I made when I spent some odd months in Argentina years ago.

And, after having a lengthy discussion with my sister that lasted exactly 7.2 hours regarding the nose differences between nationalities, I figured I might as well look into the topic.

Do other people agree with me that Argentines are born with ugly noses?

Well, I found exactly one source on Google that mentions this here.

The title of the source?

“Why do some Argentinians have pointy noses? Where does this trait come from?”

Now, if we were to look at the comment section under that, we’d see that obviously not everyone agrees that Argentines have fucked up noses.

Here’s the first comment.

“We have traveled three times to Argentina. We’ve seen no oddities in their noses, nor are they mostly with “pointed noses”. But we did see a more sinister situation instead.”

So, while this one person doesn’t agree on the fucked up nose situation, they did begin to ramble about something completely different in regards to how the Argentines genocided a lot of indigenous people way back.

Then, sticking to the theme of indigenous people, we have this comment here:

“Pointed nose is Mapuche’s trait. They are the original inhabitants of Argentina and Chile. We can see the same feature in Peru, Mexico and North America, as well.”

 This comment seemed a bit confusing to me and likely not very helpful.

Correct me if I’m wrong but, while the mapuche do have a presence in both countries, I always thought that the Argentines never had that much Mapuche DNA in their demographics overall.

On top of that, I’m pretty sure indigenous DNA is more common among Chilean demographics but I never noticed the average Chilean having a fucked up nose in my brief time there.

Either way, that was the extent to which I could find anything online regarding this topic.

I’m glad that, at the very least, I’m not the only one who thinks that a business that specializes in nose jobs (rhinoplasty) would be very profitable in Argentina.

At least I’m not crazy.

Having said that, I do think the two comments above touch on something specific that might help us understand this issue: genetics.

In thinking about Argentine genetics, we obviously tend to think about Italian heritage as so many Italians (among other European groups) arrived to Argentina long ago.

And, if you Google information about noses in Italy (or Greece), you’ll find plenty of folks wondering about Italian noses as you can see in this one example I took here.

Now, while Argentines do have plenty of other influences from places like Spain, Amerindian, etc., Italy obviously has its influence on the local demographics given the history of Italian migration to the area.

So, if I had to guess, maybe this influences it?

And that would make sense because, when I was in Italy, I did notice similar nose features in the people over there that reminded me of Argentina.

On top of that, not everyone in Argentina had an odd nose when I was there and obviously not every Argentine has strong Italian heritage as many other groups have contributed to the demographics of the country.

Though, as I said, plenty of other Argentines do have more noticeable nose features that I just haven’t seen to be as prominent in other countries like Mexico or the state of Iowa.

To give you some examples…

When I spent time in Buenos Aires, I remember seeing different chicks.

For one, there was one chick named Tami that was kinda odd as I wrote about here.

Given I haven’t seen her in a long time, I just checked her Facebook to give a scientific analysis of her nose based on her photos.

Fucked up nose?

Nah, she has a normal nose.

Though I did remember her telling me on a date that her heritage mostly dates back to Ukraine.

And, as we all know, those Ukrainians have the best noses on the whole planet.

Just trying to be nice – I don’t think I’ve ever met a Ukrainian but I don’t know.

Next, we have an old Spanish professor I had in Buenos Aires whose name was Muriel.

While she was extremely cute and I wouldn’t have minded whipping in her bed while she yelled out “MAMA MIA” in a stereotypical Italian accent, she did have an odd nose from what I remember.

And, based on her Facebook photos as I’m friends with her also, I can only confirm that she definitely has an odd nose based on what I remembered.

On top of that, based on the people in her photos that I just saw (many of whom I can only assume are Argentine), literally ALL of them have fucked up noses.

Next, as I scroll through my Facebook associations, there’s a few other Argentines I remember meeting in Buenos Aires, including people with the following names: Sonia, Martin, Debi, Cami and Juan.

Do they have fucked up noses based on what I just saw?

Well, Cami and Debi have normal noses.

Sonia and Martin have unfortunate noses that aren’t terrible but could use a visit to the nose job clinic.

And Juan?

Literally has the worst fucking nose I have just seen in the last 5 years.

OK, it’s not THAT bad.

It’s kinda bad.

Sorry Juan if you happen to read this but your nose sucks major ass donkey dick.

Your nose is literally a stereotype of what I remember seeing among like 15% of Argentines.

And that’s where I want to end this.

While most of the old Facebook friends from Argentina that  I just not so creepily checked on for my scientific analysis on noses had fucked up noses, I also don’t want to overemphasize how bad the noses really are in Argentina.

It really is like 15% of the population if I had to pull a number out of my ass.

And probably every Argentine reading this is fuming thinking I’m talking out of my ass.

But let’s go with that 15%.

Plenty of Argentines have normal noses but, as I said, compared to most countries I have been to, the fucked up noses you see in Argentina are definitely more common.

Well, they’re not that fucked up – only different!

Different is beautiful, right?

Sure.

Let’s go with that.

Nothing wrong with the noses of 15% of Argentina – it’s only different!

Sure.

After having a little more vodka just now, even I believe that.

Anyway, to summarize the main point again: most Argentines do have normal noses but, compared to other countries, odd noses seem a little more common there.

Let’s end it at that as it’s not that big of a topic.

I’m sure my most loyal readers will read this and go…

“huh, yes, alright, noses in Argentina. Big stuff. Much important. Solid update Matt. Muchas gracias.

Anyway, leave any comments below in the comment section.

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Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt