All you need to know about Iberian America

“I’m Sorry I’m American! Forgive Me Latinos!”

Published April 1, 2021 in Personal Stories & Opinions - 0 Comments

I remember way back centuries ago when I was a kid….

Sitting down on the grass in front of my elementary school, I was watching some random event the school was holding.

From there, we all walked inside the cafeteria.

Once inside, I’m extremely fuzzy on the details but I remember some teacher or whoever was saying shit about President George Bush.

Again, I don’t remember what she said but I stood up for the guy like he was my homie.

“No way, George Bush is cool.”

You know, got to stick up for the homies, am I right?

Even when you’re like 7 years old or whatever…

Anyway, there was some side teacher sitting next to me that said something like “no, he sucks. Everyone hates us now because of him.”

Now, we didn’t have much of an argument.

It was left at that.

Though looking back at the moment, I’m not sure why 7 year old me decided to get into a mini argument about George Bush when I didn’t give a fuck about him at the time to be honest.

Nor why a teacher was saying shit about him anyway.

Again, my memory is so fuzzy on the moment.

But, if I had to guess, maybe the teacher was saying shit under her breath to some other adult and I heard it.

Anyway, the reason why I bring this up is because it was the first time I ever heard the phrase “they hate us.”

They being understood as basically the rest of the world.

And us being Americans obviously.

Growing up to even this day, I have heard folks back in the US who have this mindset that everyone outside of America has some rage boner ready to fuck with Americans.

Just standing outside in the gruelling heat with machetes and AK-47s strolling the streets looking for an American.

“Hey hey you little bitch the fuck are yeah?!”

“uhhh….British?”

“Nah you cool then bro. Carry on. We just lookin for the yankees.”

The last time I remember hearing someone express this sentiment was a few odd years ago when I visited an eyeglass store in my hometown in Iowa.

I had to get my vision checked and then get a new pair of glasses.

Anyway, it was all said and done and time to leave.

We made small talk with the middle aged lady behind the counter who was working out the bill that we had to pay.

And it somehow came to conversation that I was going to Europe for a quick trip before heading to Mexico for the first time.

Her response (paraphrasing) – “Oh no, not Europe. Haven’t you heard about the Muslim attacks there? Bombs going off? And Mexico is dangerous too. They all hate us over there.”

Again, just paraphrasing what she said mostly.

And the sentiment being the same that essentially – in most of the world – they all hate us.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people who think like this must think that the only safe country in the world for us Americans to visit is Canada.

But even Canada isn’t quite safe you know…

I mean, they got aggressive hockey players, extreme Artic cold, man-killing moose and whatever the fuck else.

And some kick ass Canadian politicians like Rob Ford who do cocaine like this guy in this video here….

Plus, those Canadians are just jealous of our superior nation with all its freedoms, don’t you know?

Joking joking…

But that is part of the sentiment also expressed by some of these folks – that people hate us because of “our freedoms.”

I haven’t heard anyway say that though in a while.

Probably because it was more in reference to Islamic terrorists in the Middle East whenever it was said.

Either way, the sentiment, as it was with the eyeglass lady, also extends to Latin America.

That it can be dangerous down here and people have a bone to pick with us Americans.

The most obvious example of that has to be with Trump….

“Do They Ever Bring Trump Up?”

Trump is basically the new Bush.

In terms of people back home thinking that everyone hates him abroad so much that random strangers run up to me yelling….

“FUCK YOU FOR BEING AMERICAN! BUSH/TRUMP SUCKS! PREPARE TO DIE GRINGOOO!”

Before then a group of random Latino strangers gang up on me and hack me to death with machetes….

“WE AIN’T PAYING FOR YOU FUCKING WALL! DIE YANKEE SCUM DIE!!”

And so it wasn’t quite unusual for people back home to ask “do they ever bring up Trump to you?”

“Are people angry with you about Trump? Do they hate us over there?”

Now, for those who don’t know, I live in Mexico and lived in Mexico for almost all of the Trump presidency.

During that time, I can’t think of a single person who brought up Trump.

In the back of my head, I feel at least one person must’ve mentioned him to me.

But it obviously was not a memorable moment because I can’t remember it.

Literally nobody has ever brought him up that I can remember.

And definitely nobody has gotten angry with me about Trump or blamed me for his decisions or statements.

Scratch that – I can finally remember the moment someone brought up Trump.

It was an ex girlfriend who was Mexican and simply told me that she didn’t like how Trump referred to some gang from El Salvador as animals.

Outside of that, I can’t remember anytime someone bringing up Trump.

That is, as I said, a weird assumption that people think that non-Americans (Mexicans in this case) get rude or aggressive with me over the Trump presidency.

It never happened.

Even my ex-girlfriend was chill when she brought him up.

So outside of those folks back home who are too chicken shit to go outside the US out of fear that “everyone outside hates us for being American!”

There’s actually another group of people who have a similar mindset but take to it differently….

“I’m Sorry for Being American!”

It's funny writing all of this because you also have folks who apologize for other things like being white.

You got some who also feel apologetic for being male and will say shit like “all men are trash bro. I feel terrible for being a guy.”

Additionally, you have folks who also feel apologetic for being American.

Apologetic even for Trump being president.

Now, being a person who has spent the last 4 years in Mexico…

And being part of a few “expats or foreigners in Mexico or Mexico City” groups on Facebook…

There was one guy I remember funny enough on some Facebook group who basically posted something like this a few years ago…

“I’m so sorry for being American. I hate my country so much. Trump sucks and he makes me ashamed to be American. I feel guilty living in Mexico while Trump deports Mexicans and calls them animals, etc, etc.”

That’s just me paraphrasing what the guy said.

I never met anyone like that in real life.

But it was funny to see someone posting something like that.

People in the comments, from what I remember, agreed with him to a degree.

With others making fun of him.

As they should.

Regardless of what you think of Trump, I feel you aren’t going to get any respect for running around apologizing for him to Mexicans.

Most Mexicans go on with their day without thinking about him.

And nobody expects you to apologize for him when you aren’t him.

It basically makes you look like a faggot.

And will make it less likely for any local to respect you either.

Same way if you apologize for being white or for being a guy.

You might as well print a tattoo on your forehead that says “I got a 2 inch dick.”

Because, as I said, nobody expects you to apologize for him, it makes you look weak and most people don’t run around thinking about him down here on a daily basis.

Most just carry on with their lives.

At least in my experience.

Because, as I said, I can only think of one person who brought him up to me and that is it.

And it wasn’t even that memorable or hostile of a moment.

Either way, that’s all I got to say.

Enjoy this funny video below here of a guy “apologizing” for being white and male.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt

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