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Face Fucking the Goblin at the J-Hole

It was afternoon time in Mexico City some odd months ago around early January of 2021.

As I have been for the last few months, I’ve been feeling a bit down about things as some of the more loyal readers know.

Anyway, back then, I was having quite a few drinks.

Today I’m on Day 24 of being sober!

Whooooooooooooooooo.

Anyway, back then, no sober.

So I was going through another bottle of Oso Negro Vodka with black tea and all.

While watching a movie in my bedroom that you can see here.

Bad Santa!

Where, as you can see here, Santa is fucking an ugly as fuck chick.

Sometimes movies imitate life as we will soon see…

Anyway, I happened to be bored out of my mind as this is probably the 100th time literally that I have seen the movie.

But with enough Oso Negro, nothing is boring!

And I’m getting a bit drunk ready for a nap soon.

But then my phone makes a noise.

I check to see it and I got a notification that someone messaged me on a dating website called Mexican Cupid.

For those curious, I wrote a review of Mexican Cupid here.

Anyway, for those who have used this website, we all know that the average age of the woman on this site is a bit older.

In my experience, usually chicks in their 40s or 50s on average with some younger for sure.

Regardless, I got a message as I said.

So I checked it out!

And, to my disappointment, it was an ugly chick.

Her eyes looked terrible in the photo.

But a bit petite looking at least.

Her face definitely not attractive though.

Just odd looking.

If half of her teeth are still there, it’d be a miracle bestowed by only his great, all loving Allah.

And I’m drunk.

“Hola q tal” I respond.

And, right away, I’m getting a vibe from this chick.

The conversation was quite short before I got her number.

Usually, I’d just send a copy and paste message asking for it but she started the conversation.

And I didn’t really give a fuck about this chick.

But I don’t got shit to do and I’m drunk.

Either way, as I said, it was quite a short conversation because she was hitting on me quite heavily at the beginning.

Telling me how “guapo” I am and “rico rico guapo guapo rico” something and whatever the fuck else she tells me.

I take a look at her photos.

Ugly as fuck.

Literally a goblin.

And I’m drunk.

So I tell her to give me her number.

Once I got her Whatsapp, I tell her how it’s going to be from there.

I figured not to do so on Mexican Cupid because I spent like 10 or 15 dollars a month on it and didn’t want to risk getting banned if she were to report me for “being direct.”

But given I am drunk…

And also given she is ugly and also how desperate she was coming off initially with her kissing my ass…

You know, I’ll be honest.

I’m not above it.

If I’m bored out of my mind with literally nothing to do, I’ll even invite a goblin to come over to suck my dick.

Fuck her? No.

I couldn’t get hard fucking a chick like this.

But a blowjob?

Sure!

Just close your eyes and tell yourself it’s that Spanish teacher you had in high school that you wanted to fuck.

You know which one I’m talking about?

Cmon!!

Yeah you do!

That one we both had in class, remember?

She wasn’t Latina…

But she had a HUGE ass with red hair and great hips.

Seeing her bend over when she dropped the eraser in class always made learning Spanish a little bit easier…

Ok, so that’s how you say “quiero coger tu culo mami”

Anyway, I get it!

The goblin is not Mrs. Lee!

But imagination helps here.

Just close your eyes and tell yourself it is.

Don’t judge me – I was drunk.

So anyway, as I said basically, I was front with her literally in the second I had her on Whatsapp.

And, being honest, the chicks who are REALLY ugly tend to have LOTS of experience sucking dick!

Maybe their mindset is “if I suck 100 dicks, at least one guy will wife me up?”

I don’t know if that theory is true!

Not like I face fucked a bunch of 2s and 3s – I got for the 5.5s. I promise!

Anyway, to my surprise actually, the chick was down for it right away.

Like I said, there was no build up to this at all.

No chemistry.

No flirting beforehand from my end.

Just literally “want to suck my dick?”

And that’s it!

She said yes!

Asked for photos of my dick and we went from there.

“She’ll Kidnap You!”

Anyway, she couldn’t do nothing just yet.

She told me that she was working at some office where she runs some mini ass company or some shit.

One of those older career women who worked her way up the ladder.

Throwing away a possibility of having a family with someone for her career…

Now she’s old and alone.

Unfuckable.

But she wants a young man to fuck her mouth it so seems.

Fair enough – I can’t judge.

So, while I’m waiting around, I text a friend named Gino about it.

He’s having a laugh about it.

Along with another friend named Mike.

Who, in his experience, enjoys Mexican titties like the typical man as you can read here.

Mike found it funny anyway.

But Gino seemed to have suspicions.

“You sure she isn’t setting you up, man?”

He thought it sounded like a trap.

Because the plan was for me to show up to this stranger’s house…

And she’d be waiting for me at the house, on her knees and I’d just walk right away with the door unlocked.

Once I walk in, I go over to her, stick my dick in her mouth.

Let her do all the work.

And I go home afterwards.

No words.

Nothing.

That’s literally how I phrased it to her also.

Saying I just want to use her mouth like a fleshlight.

But Gino was thinking this sounds too dangerous.

“Bullshit, she’s going to have someone there waiting for you to kidnap your ass!”

Which, to be fair, that did sound like a reasonable theory.

After all, she was dumping on me a shit ton of compliments the second she found my profile on Mexican Cupid…

And, despite never knowing me, is OK with me just walking into her house and fucking her mouth.

But, being honest, I’m no stranger to weird ass moments.

If a weird ass moment presents itself, I’m down!

I sometimes have this “live life for experiences bro” mentality that sometimes has me doing dumb shit just because.

“Let’s see what happens!!”

Anyway, the time comes.

The chick…

Whose name I forgot but must’ve started with a J because I jokingly told Gino and Mike about how I’ll be going to “the J-Hole.”

Like it’s a club or something?

Walking along a sunny day in Mexico…

Feeling a need to get your dick sucked?

Don’t want to deal trying to win over Alejandra and Maria who take an extra day to fuck?

Don’t fear!

The J-Hole is here!

Just go around the corner, walk right in….

AND FUCK THE J-HOLE!

FREE SERVICE, LIMITED TIME OFFER, ACT NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST

So I got walking.

Walking to the J-Hole

The J-Hole was located near Metro Juanacatlan in Mexico City.

Which was ideal because it was close enough since I was in Roma Norte…

She offered to stop by my place actually but I didn’t want anyone in the building think I’m down to fuck an ugly chick’s face.

Got to keep this discreet..

So let’s write about it on the internet!

Anyway, I knew the area around Metro Juanacatlan because I used to live there.

So finding her place wasn’t difficult.

Once I got there, I stood outside the building.

Looked at my phone to see the photo that the J-Hole sent me.

“Looks like the same building…”

I checked the address on it and it had the same number as what she wrote down.

The fear here isn’t just that I might get kidnapped and have my organs stolen.

But what if this is a prank or I walk into the wrong house?

Granted, I had an excuse.

Similar to this article I wrote here, sometimes you can play the part of the gringo and say “uh oh, no hablar, no hablar Spanish, no entender what I hacer.”

Regardless, I walk up to the door and open it.

Peak inside to see real quick with one foot outside the door in case some group of 5 foot tall Mexican dudes want to grab me..

And that didn’t happen.

Right in the living room, I saw the J-Hole.

Or I was at the J-Hole, I guess

I saw Ms. J.

Sitting on the sofa naked with a blindfold around her eyes as requested.

Luckily, she wasn't fat at all and had a pretty decent body naked.

Looked like her photos actually to my surprise when it came to her body.

As I said, it was her face that was the issue.

Thankfully, the blindfold made her look a little more attractive.

Should’ve brought a brown paper bag with a mouth hole cut into it.

Anyway, I walk in and close the door.

And I had a small pocket knife in my hand in case I got jumped by any dudes wanting to kidnap me.

But I walk up to Ms. J and tell her “bajate.”

She gets on her knees without seeing me.

And I take out my dick.

She starts sucking.

Despite still being pretty drunk since I didn’t stop drinking after we made plans…

She actually made me finish pretty god damn quick.

Like I said before, sometimes the ugly chicks who are seemingly desperate can suck dick pretty well.

In the moment, I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at her face and imagined whatever better looking women I’ve fucked before.

“That’s right Araceli….no, wait…how about Karla? No, you know, that one chick I just met? Alma! That’s right, Alma. Keep sucking my dick you fucking bitch. What a nasty cunt you are. You do this to everyone, don't you? Sucking 10 dicks a day like some used glory hole? Not so strong and independent now are you with your career? Now you just a fucking used up whore.”

And, being honest, I did think of Alma!

As I wrote here, Alma was another Mexican chick I met on Mexican Cupid.

She was a much younger chick closer to my age while Ms. J was maybe in her late 40s or something..

And Alma was much fucking hotter – had one of the best asses I ever saw in Mexico.

So thinking of Alma might’ve helped get the job done.

Though, like I said, Ms. J definitely knew how to suck dick.

Anyway, that was it.

I came inside her mouth.

She moaned when it happened and muttered some words in Spanish that I didn’t catch.

And once I finished, she wanted to keep sucking a little bit more..

But I pulled out pretty quickly when I opened my eyes again and saw her face again.

“OK, that’s enough. I’m going to hell for this. Adios!”

Zipped my pants and literally walked out of the door.

Just like we planned.

No words.

No talking.

Out the door.

And that was it.

Back Home

By this point, it was around 10 PM more or less.

And, with my phone on me, I was worried about getting mugged.

I hate having my phone on me outside in public for that reason.

And, for a second, I thought I left the keys to my apartment in her place because I didn’t feel them in my pockets.

But then I noticed them in my jacket.

So I kept on marching back home.

Gino found it to be a nice surprise – “You’re alive! You didn’t get kidnapped at the J-Hole!”

Mike found it funny too and even contemplated going from Stockton to Mexico to visit this chick.

“Shit, if I’m ever in Mexico, can you give me the address of the J-Hole? Oh, she ugly as fuck? Shit, where’s my whiskey bottle? Maybe I can make a visit…Maybe…Maybe…We’ll see.”

Anyway, that’s the story of the J-Hole.

A beautiful little corner of Mexico City that only an inside club of Chads ever get to know about.

If you ever feel like face fucking the Goblin, stop on by!

And, you know, maybe I feel a little bit uncomfortable sharing a story about how I fucked a goblin.

I know, I know…

Every guy reading this is going to say “lollollol you fuck goblins bro? I ONLY FUCK THE 10s of POLANCO!”

Yeah right – sure you do.

And, by the way, I’m doing charity work here.

It’s an honorable job.

Putting my dick in the throats of corporate women who need to de stress and relax at times after a hard day at work?

You know, these chicks do a lot for society and need a young Chad to help them relax after running a successful company.

Plus, I’m pretty sure this is all Biblical work too.

Though I haven’t read the Bible, I did hear that there’s some chapter in that book…

What was it called?

I think Tyrone 15:42 in which Jesus says to Wen Lee about how “thy shalt visit the J-Hole for it is the J-Hole in which thy shalt find the cactus and the eagle of Mexico.”

Something like that.

Anyway, not my proudest moment to fuck a goblin.

But I am proud for discovering the J-Hole.

A spiritual place few locals and gringos know about in Mexico City.

And that’s it.

Drop any comments below in the comment section.

And follow my Twitter here.

Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Matt

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